Global Warming

Global Warming

Harry Buschman

Greetings from the Kathmandu Hilton!

We hope your stay with us will be a pleasant one. There is much to do here at the Hilton in the Clouds, so please take advantage of the unique offerings available to you in the Himalayas now that Global Warming has made it all possible.

If you look out the windows behind the reception desk in the lobby you will see the rocky peak of Mount Everest. It is a brisk after breakfast walk and even elderly walkers can be up there and back by lunch time. If walking is not in your curriculum, a cab can get you to the summit in ten minutes by means of the new Nepalese 4-Lane “People’s” Expressway.”

To think ... so many stout hearted men and women have met tragic and frigid ends trying to scale this magnificent mountain. Through deep snows, treacherous slopes, deep crevasses ... braving sudden snow squalls and avalanches. The three crosses mounted at the very peak is a tribute to their bravery. Now, a light jacket, or perhaps a sleeveless vest is all you will need to wear. There is a snack bar for your convenience at the car park near the summit if your appetite gets the best of you, and while there you can browse the gift shop for colorful souvenirs

At the topmost peak, the visitor can look to the south and see the entire country of Nepal and India, (now mostly under water). To the west lies what’s left of China, where a billion people without chairs to sit on, now must stand shoulder to shoulder. A truly impressive sight, far superior we believe, to the sport of snorkeling up and down the streets of lower Manhattan or the nude bathers who now parade on the beaches of Murmansk.

One word of caution! Do not attempt to make friends with the Yeti, These mountain people, who before Global Warming, subsisted on nothing but snow, can be extremely dangerous. Do not attempt to pet them or offer them snacks especially if they are accompanied by their young.

Other than that small caveat, the Himalayas are yours to enjoy. Wear sturdy walking shoes and bring bottled water, it can get quite warm on Mount Everest in the afternoon.