Jokes 7-13

Joke 7

The birds in the garden were feeding happily on the bird seed. The woman of the house liked them to visit. The central heating had broken down the previous evening in the house, and she was feeling a bit cold. Her husband however, was just a bit confused, when, as he came in from work, she said, "Have you seen my blue-tits today, honey!".

Joke 8

Have you seen that notice in the takeaway: Everything only a penny. Let's go and get summat.
"Hello, can we have what is on the menu".
"OK, I'll dish it up".
"Urrrrh - this is horrible. It's piss and shit".
"Well, you've heard of spending a penny, haven't you",

Joke 9

Two experienced girls were out one halloween. A group of young lads could see them coming up the road, and one said, as it's halloween, let's ask them if they want hocus pocus. The girls heard this, and shouted to the best looking one, "Never mind the hocus, as long as you pocus".

Joke 10

She carried the beers to customers in big steins, just like in Germany. She was a buxom girl, and seldom went unnoticed.What she did not expect was a little boy to pipe up, as she placed the steins on the table, "They are mighty big jugs, Dad".

Joke 11

The shoemaker had a great liking for his elves. They helped him considerably with his job. Truth was, he was getting old now, and knew he wouldn't always be able to do the work.Some said he liked the elves too much.His wife was horrified at the slander, for she loved him dearly, but maybe even she was just a tad surprised to find him bent over his last.

Joke 12

A plasterer was just learning his trade, and had plastered his first wall. The inspector looked, then said, "That's no good mate, I can see your crack a mile off".

Joke 13

A young man was working in a fruit and veg shop and got on very well with the manager. The manager of the shop and his wife had had a falling out, and some of the fruit was missing from the stall. The young man did not expect the manager's wife to say to him however, "I know you, you've had ye hand in me husband's boxes".