The Key: Theory Three

                “Okay well, I’d like to start off by saying, holy crap, what the hell. Is there actually something wrong with your head that would lead you to believe that we all die in a gruesome, horrific, demonic death? Seriously, you guys have been nothing with negative with your ideas on what is going to happen when we find the owner of the key. I have a theory that is a lot more pleasant for all of us.

                “So this starts similarly to the others. We go to the hotel, we skip the front desk and head straight for the room and we do reach a room numbered 401 in the hotel. We knock on the door to make sure that no one is in there. And after a few seconds of waiting we agree that no one is. So then we use the key to open the door.

                “Once inside we find that the room is indeed empty but is filled with balloons, streamers and tons of food set up on tables. Also booze and drugs. Lots of booze and drugs. Clearly there is some kind of crazy party that’s going to happen. From sheer curiosity we take a further look inside. As we do so the door closes behind us, just by accident. Then all of a sudden we hear voices coming from the bathroom. It’s a woman and she’s saying, “He’s here!”

                “Someone yells surprise and the bathroom door flings open and a bunch of hot babes all in the skimpiest bikini’s come running out cheering and dancing. One of them has a boom box and the music starts playing. The all shove us into the room and start throwing confetti everywhere and blowing bubbles. It’s all a huge surprise.

                “We have no idea what’s going on, so we just roll with it and we get to have a great night with these party babes. We drink champagne, get lap dances and half of them end up topless. It becomes officially the best night of our lives. After maybe an hour or so of partying one of the girls then turns to us and asks why we arrived early. Of course we have no clue what she means by this, so we ask. She replies saying that we should have originally only been arriving at that moment. Then the door opens.

                “In walks these big, burly, Mafiosi looking guys. Y’know, slicked back hair, pencil thin moustaches and gaudy pin stripe suits. As it turns out, and we quickly discover, this party wasn’t for us. Initially we apologise, say it was a mistake and then try and leave and forget like this ever happened. But they don’t exactly let us walk out the door.

                “They start talking really quickly, with all manner of hand gestures and waving. Things get a little out of control and one of them produces a gun. Out of pure instinct, one of us tries to bat it away for safety. But unfortunately that causes the gunman to pull the trigger. Within about fifteen minutes there are four bodies with holes in their heads resting in the bathtub.

                “Hmm, maybe you’re right. Maybe there is no way of us having this key and discovering what is in the room and making it out alive. I swear, when I started that story everything was going to be fine but the natural curve of the narrative just led me to that as the only logical ending.”