Theft

“Male, late twenties maybe early thirties, about five foot ten, brown hair, brown eyes sort of thick build. If anyone is to describe this guy it would match me perfectly.”
Ed threw down a photo of his target, Jim picked it up and studied it momentarily.
“I don’t know. Looking at him he really doesn’t hold enough of a resemblance for you to pass as him.”
“Don’t worry that’s not the point, I know how the system works. He’s only been there for about a week. Nobody knows him, so when questions are asked my word is as good as his. Plus I have his details and I made all the false identification I’ll need to hold off the police until the morning. I’ll make sure that he’s the one being taken in for questioning and once I’m alone we make our move.”
“And you’re sure this is a good move?”
“Definitely. I scoped the place out earlier. He has a nice computer, some fancy paintings and a couple of big televisions. And best of all there’s some sort of vase. It looks Chinese and seems pretty old so to the right buyer we may just make enough off this to have us sitting pretty for the rest of the year.”
Jim slowly nodded to himself, looking down at the picture, as he thought over what he was about to do. For most of his life he had been a decent guy. Never got in any serious trouble in his childhood, went on to work in a lumber factory for a few years. The only problem was that the factory had been closed for almost a year. He was broke and desperate. He figured trusting Ed for the time being was the best way for him to live until he found another honest job. He looked up from the photo of the man he was about to steal from and made eye contact with Ed. His message was clear.
“Good. We move out in an hour, just after midnight.”

The hour came and went in a flash for Ed, he was pumped up and ready for this hit. The time passed quite differently for Jim as he questioned whether or not this was a necessary evil he was about to take part in. The feelings remained all through the thirty two minute drive from their safe house to the corner of the residential area they were going to steal from.
“You ready?” Ed asked. He wasn’t really but Jim tightly gripped the steering wheel to the van and nodded.
“Atta boy, now keep watch. You remember the signals in case of danger?”
“One flash for civilians, two for police.”
Ed nodded approvingly. Knowing that Jim was on the same page as him right now made him even more confident that this would work. He reach behind his seat and grabbed the duffle bag of necessary supplies. “Wish me luck.” He hopped out of the van and crept his way toward the house.

Ed had been a thief pretty much all his life, so lurking in the shadows and carefully scaling the sides of small buildings was second nature to him. But the reason he still did what he did to this day was that the rush of doing these things never seemed to fade. He was fuelled by pure adrenaline as he pulled himself and a twenty kilogram bag of supplies up and into a second story bathroom window.
As luck would have it, having a male living alone in a house meant there was very little clutter around to make noise or trip Ed up as he slithered his way around the hallways. A problem that would seem a bit trivial to someone as experienced as Ed but past mistakes have proven that surprises can come at the worst time. But once again to his great fortune, the one surprise he had that night was just how quiet the door remained as he slowly pushed it open into the man’s bedroom.
In as silent a manner as possible Ed opened his bag and removed a plastic covered rolling pin. In the dead of night the noise of the bag was amplified tenfold making the moment extremely tense. But despite the mild rustling, the sleeping man never even moved. After very gently placing down his back Ed crept over to the slumbering mass of bedsheets. He spotted a mass of hair poking from the top and swung his rolling pin down slamming the man on the head. He was unconscious immediately.

The man woke in a blurry daze over an hour later. He was sitting in his kitchen, tied to a chair. He rocked back and forth to see if there was any give in the rope but he was definitely trapped. Even his attempts at calling for help were cut short by the duct tape covering his mouth. What is going on, he thought to himself.
Several minutes passed in the darkness with no explanation. He wanted to struggle further but he was already very tired as it was. The headaches made him not want to risk dozing off for fear that he may never wake up again due to the horrible concussion he so very clearly had.
Then finally a wave of relief came. Through a crack in the kitchen door he could see out and into the hallway leading up to the front door. The familiar flash of red and blue neon gave him hope for rescue and survival from whatever had just happened. But all of that hope fell to the wayside when the police rang the doorbell and someone came down his stairs.

Ed answered the door in a fabricated panic. Once he had replaced any form of identity belonging to the true owner with his own and changed into a set of pyjamas, he began mental preparing himself for his charade.
“Hello sir, we’ve received reports of a possible break-in?”
“Oh yes, thank you for coming officer. While I was sleeping I heard a noise coming from downstairs and when I went to investigate I saw man standing in my kitchen.” While Ed was giving his account of the events the officer had taken out a notebook and started writing. She periodically nodded or hummed to show his attention. “I was truly shocked when I saw him standing there. He turned around and it looked as if he was brandishing some sort of knife, so out of pure instinct I grabbed the first thing in reach, which was my rolling pin, and I clocked him in the head.”
“So you assaulted this man?”
“Ehh well, yes. But it was purely in self-defence. Plus he was breaking and entering into my home in the dead of night.”
“Okay so what happened next?”
“To be perfectly honest I kind of panicked. He was unconscious on my floor and I thought I might have killed him. I checked his breathing and it was fine but what I feared the most is what was going to happen when he woke up. So I figured the best solution was prevention.”
“Prevention?”
“Yes.”
“Meaning?”
“I tied him to a chair and left him in my kitchen.”
The officer let out a very sigh. “Alright. May I come in and see him?”
“Yes of course.”

She was a bit shocked but not entirely surprised to see a man dressed in all black tied to a chair with duct tape covering his mouth. It was a strange situation but sort of an understandable one. She approached the man, who was wriggling violently in his binds, and she tore the duct tape from his face.
“Oh god please help this man isn’t who he says he is, he’s just using you to…”
“Sir, sir, sir. Please calm down I don’t wish to restrain you anymore than you already are.” The man took a deep breath and let a silence linger momentarily. “Alright now if you wish to cooperate, I am going to untie you and you will remain seated while we talk about this, understood?” He nodded. “Okay, so what are you trying to say?”
“This is my home, I live here.” While he spoke the officer untied the rope from around him. “I was asleep upstairs in my room and the next thing I knew I was here tied up.” The officer looked to Ed.
“I don’t know what to say aside from he’s just lying.”
“That man is a fraud he’s lying to you.”
At this point the man had been untied. The officer stood up from behind the chair and raised her hands.
“Alright, alright. There is one easy way to prove who lives here. Someone has to show me some proof of address.”
“No problem” replied Ed.
He turned to make his way out of the kitchen before he was stopped by the officer.
“Not so fast you tell me where to go and I’ll get it.”
“Okay well I only moved in here Monday so there aren’t any bank statements or anything but in the second drawer of the bedside locker there should be a folder with a photo copy of the deed with my name on it. Then on top of the drawer is my wallet with some ID to match the deed.”
The officer turned to the sitting man. He didn’t give any information of his own. He was in shock. He had just watched a man describe exactly what to find and where in the house he had left those items. He immediately got a horrible sinking feeling. Since he did not reply the officer left the two of them in the kitchen while she ran upstairs.

It didn’t take the officer long to return so the conversation between both men was very brief. “Who are you? Why are you doing this?”
Ed gave a crooked and sinister smile. “Because I’m the best at what I do. And I really like that vase you have in your living room.”
Before the man could retort the officer re-entered the room. “Alright then, moment of truth.” She unfolded a piece of paper. It was the deed, and after a brief scan she found a name near the bottom of the page. “The owner is a mister Thomas Bertson.”
“That’s me” called out both men simultaneously.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought would happen. So let’s take a look at the ID.”
Thomas momentarily had a victorious grin across his face. He could tell from here that that ID card belonged to him. But a serious doubt penetrated his confidence. This imposter knew where that was, so God only knows how he may have altered it. And of course his worst fears were realised.
The officer held up the card comparing it to both men. Within seconds she had made her decision. She handed the card to Ed. “Well according to this, you are Thomas Bertson, the rightful owner of this house. Meaning you,” she pointed at the now incriminated Thomas, “You, are coming downtown with me.”
“No!” Thomas stood up from the chair. “He’s lying, he’s an imposter. He tampered with my stuff.”
In an act of simulating fear, Ed took a step away from Thomas, partially hiding behind the police officer who was ready to arm herself with pepper spray if the situation demanded it.
“Sir unless you want a face full of pepper spray, I suggest you calm down and come quietly.”
Unsure of what to do now, Thomas made the decision to try and escape the situation. It was the wrong choice. Before he made it even three feet the officer had tackled him to the ground and within seconds was cuffing his hands behind his back. He struggled and squirmed but it was a useless attempt at escape. He was brought to his feet and dragged forcefully toward the front door.
Ed spoke up. “So what happens now?”
“Well sir I suggest you try and get some sleep it’s been a long night. There will be and officer around in the morning to ask a few questions and take a look around at how the intruder got in.”
“Alright then. Thank you officer have a goodnight.”
The conversation had led them to the front door. As Ed was shutting it he could her the frantic screams of Thomas.
“You don’t understand he’s robbing me. He’s going to take everything. He’s just…”
The closed door muffled out the rest of the man’s rant. Ed took a deep breath and turned around and leaned back against the door. Phase two was complete. He chuckled to himself. “Whelp, he wasn’t wrong.”