Heart over the fence part 2

Saturday came, and Sophia and Xander both prepared to meet in front of the library. Sophia put her hair in a casual bun, not wanting to be to dressed up for a casual meeting like this, and donned the dress she kept for casual social occasions, royal purple and a black bodice. Alexander didn’t have anything but nice clothes, so he just chose his favorite of black trousers, white blouse, and blue jacket. After shaving, combing his hair in front of the large round mirror and dressing, he left the vacation home after sliding on his shoes and went down the street. It was a bit closer to him, so he was there before Sophia. He didn’t have to wait long however, before he saw her approaching and he went to meet her.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Fine, thank you. So where do you want to go?”
“You know this area better than I do so it’s up to you, or we can just walk around the park”
“Ah, the park gets boring but I know this nice chipper place, though maybe that’s too casual for you, you’d look out of place with your fancy dunnage”
“I’ve never heard of a chipper before”
“I expect not, your parents would never allow it. It’s a fish and chip place, kind of low class, but the food is quite good”
“We can go there then, I’d like to experience some real life here before my mother gets bored of this place. My father’s the one that works, but my mother is usually the one to decide what to do with the money. Her family is a bit higher up than his.”
So they began to walk down the road to Sophia’s favorite humble restaurant. Xander’s hands neatly behind him, Sophia’s in front the whole way as they talked.
“So what’s your family like?” he asked.
“Oh, you know, average working class, honest Irish folk, just managing to eat. Me dad does whatever jobs he can get to bring a few shillings home. Though he usually drinks at least half of it away, says he deserves it for all the hard work he does to keep the rest of us alive.”
“How often does your father drink?”
“Oh whenever he has enough for more than one or two. One time, when we were in a rough spot from a bad harvest, he came home bolloxed and Ma gave him quite a deskitch, calling him a damn ape and a nickey for drinking away the money we need. I have to share a kife with me sister even”
“Surely not everyone drinks their wages”
“No, some people are sensible enough to know what they ought to spend their money on so that they don’t have to scrap up odds just to get some toke.”
They entered the small shop and made their order at the low counter before sitting down at a rough wooden table to continue their conversation, surrounded by other raw wood tables, a few people hunched over their drinks grumbling idly.
“So what sort of things does your father do?”
“Oh just about anything he can get really. Flue faker, wont catcher, soap boiler, construction. Whatever will give us a few pounds in a month.”
“Is that all you expect in a month?”
“Pretty much, so I try to help by sellin’ the things me mum and I make, like you saw when we first met”
“Of course. How successful is it usually?”
“Oh it could be better. We tend to only get enough to buy more supplies. When the winter comes we sometimes make a little more, but not enough to change our situation.”
“At least making them is a nice hobby. What can you tell be about the town?”
“This huey? Oh it’s rather average, nothin’ special really. A lot of people love the gatter and hard up, and often don’t have a device in their name. Think the most I’ve ever seen at once was a finny, that’s not because me Da is a skiver like most of his pub-mates”
“I knew you couldn’t all be drunks, just unfortunate”
“Aye, some of us are just unfortunate. It’s a never-ending cycle really. I think a few generations ago my paternal side had some money, but one bad thing after another they got in a hole, and the other generations haven’t been able to get out of it. Once you’re born into wealth or poverty, there’s not much getting out of it. Though I imagine deciding not to be rich is easier than finding new wealth”
“Might be about the same, at least for people like me with controlling mothers who only want popularity and to make sure their children carry on their good name by staying rich and going to ridiculous events held by people you couldn’t care less about.”
“Are you an only child?”
“Yes, though I imagine I would have to endure the same fate if I had a sibling. It would cause even more of a scandal if they had one child carrying on the name and one running off to be poor. Least now I’ve got a bit of a chance to do what I want without having to be compared to someone. I can just hear her now ‘why don’t you want to be rich and popular and bring honor to the family like your brother?’ She can be a bit crazy sometimes, like the average upper-class I suppose, thinking they are nobility”
Before their food came, Sophia stood up and said, “Excuse me, need to visit the ladies room,”
“Of course,” Alexander said, standing up too like gentlemen did when women left the room. Sophia began to walk towards the back and as she was passing him, she stumbled. Xander quickly moved to catch her and with his help she recovered. They stood there for a moment gazing into each other’s eyes, his arms around her waist. Without a word she patted his shoulder in thanks and continued to walk, slightly embarrassed, the awkwardness and tension still in the air.
Xander sat back down, contemplating what had just happened, and the feelings that seemed to come with it. I noticed her beauty from the start, but there was something there, when I was holding her, even for such a brief moment. His hands were clasped together, chin rested on them in thought. Sophia returned and he put them down again to show there was no problem.
Their food came and Sophia showed Xander how to properly enjoy the simple meal, letting him know it was okay to eat some things with your hands, even if there was some grease left over. They stayed there for a while, talking and learning all about each other.
“You’ve been able to understand everything I’ve said?” Sophia asked as they left.
“Of course, the slang is a bit different than what I usually here, but I’m well educated, my parents made sure of that, and anything I didn’t hear before I was able to figure out through context. I hope I didn’t use any big words.”
“No, I’m also well educated. Me mum made sure of that, her family has a bit more money, so she got a proper education and was able to, in turn, teach my sister and me. So I may be a peasant, but I could talk like you if I wanted, and I’m not just book smart. I can cook, and knit like there’s no tomorrow. I usually make half the stuff we try to sell.”
“Do you grow some of your produce?”
“Oh sure, we’ve got a bit of a vegetable garden, and Lilly and I will go pick wild berries for pies and such.”
“I’d like to try some of your cooking. I would imagine it tastes better if you make it yourself.”
“Usually,” she said with a smile, “Though some things just taste awful, and always will even if a gourmet chef prepared it.”
“Are the days in your garden long?”
“Well a bit yeah, since it’s a rather large garden, but the day goes by a bit faster with some chaunting”
“Oh you like to sing?” he said, a little surprised since he sings on occasion too.
“Like any good Irish,” she said with another smile.
“Will you sing something for me?”
“Like what?”
“Anything, it doesn’t matter to me”. They stopped and she cleared her throat to sing her favorite lullaby.
“Beautiful, did you train at all for your voice?”
“Not really but if you sing enough, over time you just learn to know when you sound good or not, and instinctively change what you’re doing to sound right.”
“Well you’re a lovely alto,” he said happily, kissing her hand. He took his turn to show off his tenor voice, that was a bit deeper than his speaking voice, compared to the usual half octave or so higher for most, and they continued along their way, talking about their hobbies and favorite foods, whatever they could think of. When they got to the library they didn’t want to part so they went to the park and walked around for a while before they both realized they ought to get back to their respective home.
“When do you leave?”
“Next weekend I think, my mother has begun to get bored of this place, since there aren’t enough high-class things to do or people to see”
“Ah, yeah, this town probably wasn’t the best pick if she wanted to continue to have entertainment of home. I’ll have to give you my address then so you can write.”
They exchanged addresses, promised to write each other, hugged and went their separate ways.

Ch7:

When Alexander was out of sight, Sophia almost collapsed where she was. It hadn’t technically been a date, but it was as close as she had gotten for a couple years. She forced herself to get up, and continue to walk until she could have some privacy in a field of uncut grass. There she sat again, legs folded at her side. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing. She let herself sway in the soft breeze, unable to think of anything but her afternoon with the handsome Alexander. She smiled to herself at the thought of his face and the conversation they had. Then she suddenly remembered her misfortune. He would be leaving within a week, probably never to return again. She wondered how he felt about her, and if he would actually write like he said, and for how long before moving on to another woman, someone in the same league. She felt foolish to have fallen for him, at least for falling so quickly, when she knew he wouldn’t be able to stick around. I have to talk to him again she thought. I have to see him once more, tell him how I feel, find out how he feels. I can’t let him leave without taking a chance and end up wondering if it could have turned out differently. She stood up and walked to the nearest office that could tell her where they were staying, since she only had his permanent address. Five minutes later she was outside again, and began to walk with confidence and determination in the direction Alexander had disappeared to, past all the pubs and small shops that often seemed about ready to close down with their filthy windows and rubbish scattered along the walkway outsides the doors.
Alexander had already reached home while she had been contemplating things in the grass. So she wasn’t able to meet up with him before he entered the house and took his place by the piano for casual practice, for lack of something better to do. So she strolled up to the front door and knocked with sure force, and Edmund answered as she was making sure she didn’t look arrogant.
“Can I help you?” he said, surprised at finding a commoner on his doorstep.
“Yes, I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for Alexander,”
“May I ask what this regards?”
“Well, I’m Sophia, I don’t know if he’s told you anything about me, but it’s a personal matter”
“Oh, Sophia, yes he has mentioned you a few times. Please come in, I will call for him”
“Thank you” she said simply, and crossed the threshold and waited in the entrance hall while Edmund went to get Xander. Sophia stood there nervously, deciding what exactly she would say, and wondering how he would react. After an anxious couple of minutes, Alexander appeared in front of her.
“Sophia, a pleasant surprise. Did you not go home? What’s the matter?”
“No I didn’t go home, on my way there I decided I needed to discuss something with you. Is there a more private area where we can sit or something?”
“Of course.” Alexander led her through the house, taking a flower from a vase along the way, to the back garden, and they sat by the modest fountain, where he handed her the tiger lily. She smiled sweetly and took a deep breath before confessing herself.
“So I don’t really know how to do this. I know your mother if not your father too, thinks I’m just a tinker, but I still can’t help how I feel. And the truth is, I feel for you.” She said, and continued quickly before he could say anything, wanting to make sure her thoughts were clear and she didn’t seem too outgoing. “I know we just met and I understand if you can’t return them, you are after all a proper Englishman and there are unwritten rules about getting involved with someone out of your class. But I don’t think I could’ve lived with myself if I didn’t say something before you left.” She said, with nervous breathing, fearful of what he would say.
Alexander had actually been contemplating how he felt about her before she arrived. He had decided he was interested, and there was lots of potential in her, and for them. Ah, bloody hell, what am I supposed to say. I like her, she’s really attractive and smart but I can’t get involved when my parents are forcing me away.
“I would imagine that would be a burden, especially if I wasn’t able to come back,” he said, unable to think of anything else to say at the moment Since he was, as aforementioned, more logical and didn’t let his feeling get away from him, there was nothing that could be done about their mutual attraction. He didn’t know when or if he would be back, so as much as it hurt both of them, he had to pretend her feelings were not shared.
“Sophia, you are really nice, and it is a sad thing that you had to be in the working class. I appreciate your honesty and admire your courage. But I can’t see anything happening between us, now or ever,” he said as sincerely and somberly as possible as his heart shattered with the pressure of the lie and deep want to tell her the truth.
“As I expected, and I’m glad you are proper enough to know how to reject someone without hurting their feelings. I will leave you alone now, and you don’t have to write if you don’t want to” she said, keeping her emotions within until she was alone.
“Of course I’ll still write. Friends can write each other. Just because I can’t accept a relationship with you, doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy your camaraderie.”
“Well I thank you for that” she said, standing up. He escorted her back through the house and through the front door where she curtsied and walked in the direction of her home. Alexander gazed after her with a heavy heart before closing the door gently and somberly, showing how he was feeling, and went to his room to be alone.
When Sophia reached the field again, she collapsed and let her tears flow. She didn’t allow herself to sob; she was old enough to not get too carried away over a boy. But she still needed to let out her sadness, sadness that she would probably never see him again, and if she did he would be tied to another rich woman, like the rules dictated. So I’m to remain with my parents and sister, essentially alone and unloved for who knows how long, she thought solemnly, the warm tears falling down her cheek and dropping to her dress, she made no attempt to wipe them away for some time.
Alexander sat at his desk, which was also positioned so that he could gaze at the small courtyard and let his thoughts race. He felt horrible for having to lie like that, especially to her. She’s really sweet, and if I was able to stay here, if I wasn’t cursed by my parents money, I would have taken her in my arms, and stayed like that until the world ended, his romantic side said. Then his logical side followed with well, maybe not so smarmy, but I would have told her I had feelings too. There was a knock on the door and he turned to see Lydia at the door.
“What do you want,” he said, unable to hide his aggravated mood.
“I was just wondering what happened between you and that peasant girl just now. Are you okay?”
“Of course, I’m fine. Just, I don’t know, I’m unhappy with the situation that you and your wealth have caused for me.”
“Always about money, why can’t you be happy?”
“Because, like you said, it’s always about money. And, like Sophia said, there are these unwritten rules that won’t allow me to be with someone unless they have as much money as us. Which is ridiculous, you should be able to be with whomever you are attracted to and enjoy being around without caring what other people think. Why can’t one be with whomever they are happy being around, be with someone that they feel they need to be with and if they aren’t they feel a little sad, someone to make them truly happy always and forever. If you like someone enough, that’s all you need. No prestige, no renown, just love and to be with the person you love. I must agree money is needed to live, but it shouldn’t rule your life,” he said with passion. He may be the logical type, but he believed in real love, and despised the superficiality he was often surrounded with because of Lydia’s life style.
“This is your life; you have to accept that you might not have the love that you always imagined. But try to cheer up dear, you may find a nice young lady yet, one that you can actually be with, and you will forget all about this Sophia,” she said with a kiss on his forehead and left the room, oblivious that he just wasn’t the same shallow wealthy person she was. What if I don’t want to forget about her? He thought