iSeaside

iSeaside

whales beached on towels lobsters 

parade along the promenade

peter pan’s playground kiss me quick

hats ectoplasm of ice creams screams

from mourning toddlers hushed

with candy-floss spun with lies 

six pint lager heavy fuelled

by ginster pies

en-ger-land choirs killing 

aliens with arcade cacophony cruising

the sea front a blitzkrieg of souped-up

fords vroom vroom bass boom 

throwing bottles at the sea

a bottle blonde runs into the kursaal 

shouting save me save me 

my tits are meltingall in a tizz as she’s

never raised a sweat in case it broke a nail 

she doesn’t know what to do she needs

an ambulance a life support machine

a wet t-shirt competition she needs a chill pill

or two and to stop using the bleach

that’s using her cranium as a meal

an armada of bright red pensioners reclining 

on deckchairs reading the sun in the shade

fish supper and bingo in the couldn’t-care-less 

home for the end of days where the toxic odour

of piss and werthners prevails

between here and isle of sheppey

large container ships chug through 

the river mud en route to tilbury

as we head for the A13 and the

safety of civilisation

or whatever they call the 9-5

now take yer elbows off the table

and stuff yer face with chips