The darkness of the alley way.

By indigogold

Thu, 28 Aug 2008
  • 846 reads
2 comments
 

The darkness of the alley way,
No light until dawn,
The path was sparkling throughout the day,
Until darkness was born.

The trees joined to make an endless forest,
For this is'nt a place,
You'd see tourists,
Not a soul , not a face.

The darkness is like a shadow,
Its there surrounding you,
Like a buttercupped filled meadow,
Whats there? I don't have a clue.

Could be strangers,
Escaped for prison,
Or other dangers,
Or a bear on a mission.

So next time your walking,
Take your phone,
You never know who might be lurking,
So don't go alone.

Certificate 12
Poem
My Books.
Talecatching

Comments

Submitted by indigogold on
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Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'The darkness is like a shadow, Its there surrounding you, Like a buttercupped filled meadow, Whats there? I don't have a clue.' I really liked this stanza! Just one little punctuation mistake you need an apostrophe in it's! You build the atmosphere well in this poem. And just some friendly advice from one kid to another (I'm sixteen) don't ask people to comment, just be patient. We all love reviews but we have to let the readers come to us. And about your age, it's great that you're starting so young and you have a lot of promise but perhaps you could put your age in your personal profile or not say anything at all instead of telling people after they comment? Hope that helps! Keep writing :)