O: Alice #6

Here is a secret. I tell myself it's not important, but as I'm
laying here watching "All My Children" on television I can't help but
think that, yes, it might be a big deal. No police have shown up at my
door yet so who knows? I don't think I'm fooling myself.

I woke up one night to some noise is my daughter's bedroom. It sounded
like arguing, though I couldn't be sure. Then my daughter's door
opened. For a second I was afraid. You know what I did? I put both my
legs over Tiffany, who always slept at the bottom of the couch with me.
She didn't even stir.

Anyway, the noise got louder. I heard my daughter fighting, and then
the definite sound of slapping. I waited for a second, then stood up. I
made sure my turban was on my head, because my hair looked pretty
awful. I walked into the hallway and here is what I saw:

A man with his pants down to his knees, his hand on the back of my
daughter's neck, pushing down while her hands grasped his arm. Her legs
did a jig the whole thing. He was excited, that much was clear. My
daughter was losing. That much was clear, too.

There are women who lift cars when their children have been run over. I
couldn't do that. I could barely lift my legs, truth be told. My head
and stomach hurt and I just wanted to go back to sleep. But I was wide
awake, watching my daughter and this man.

I pushed open my daughter's door. She didn't notice, but the man did.
He looked surprised, like I wasn't supposed to be there. I suppose I
wasn't. My daughter stopped flailing about for a moment. I would like
to have heard something from her, but she stayed quiet.

I smiled. What must I have looked like? The blue turban on my head, my
ugly nightgown? My skinny legs. Was it that obvious I had nothing to
lose?

It was over quickly. The most uncomfortable part was when he pushed my
right leg over my head. Then he went through the window, perhaps where
he'd come from in the first place. Or maybe not.

I stood up and walked to where my daughter sat against the wall. My
knees popped as I bent and slapped her hard across the face. "What?"
she said, and I slapped her again, this time less hard. She thrust her
legs between mine, twisting them so that I fell against the wall and
onto the floor.

"What?" she said.