A Week in December: Part 1

Chapter 1

Even as snow fell down from the dark winter sky, a tear ran down the cold and windblown cheeks of James DeMaris. How could he have let this happen? It didn't seem real, this had to be a dream. He was aware of the biting wind and the falling snow, although only dimly. All he could see was her smile, her beautiful smile... The tears came in force now, cascading down his face and blurring his vision. James held his head with gloved hands and wept uncontrollably. When the tears stopped, the thoughts would start and then the tears would start again. Standing on that bridge looking down at the river below, James watched as his tears fell and mixed with the icy waters. He didn't know why he had stopped here. At least he told himself he didn't know. He was master of lies, he thought, both to himself.... and to her. The thoughts never really went away, despite what he told himself and others. And looking down at the water standing on the bridge he couldn't help but see the fall and the death that would greet him at the bottom as a way out. He could leave the guilt, and the heartbreak, all behind. He didn't know why, but James pulled out his cell phone. Subconciously, he hit spped dial 1, her number. And the phone rang. And rang. And rang.

"Hi, it's Megan! Leave me a message and I'll-" James ended the call. He stared down at his phone. On the screen was her contact piture. The two of them, laughing and smiling, on the golf course... the tears came back. He let the phone drop from his fingers as he wiped at his face again. The phone fell in the snow, near James' feet. He felt so hopeless. How did he let it happen, how had he just let her walk away? Didn't she know how he felt? The tears suddenly stopped. Yes, she had known. She had known everything. And she still walked away. And with that James DeMaris swung his legs up onto the bridge railing. He clutched the cold steel with both gloved hands and peered down into the river beneath him. All it would take was a small motion of his fingers, and the pain would end. All of it. James DeMaris began uncurling his fingers. He was going to let go. The wind howled around him, the snow beat his face. Tears stung his face as they froze to his cheeks. And his heart... his heart was in pieces. James let go with one hand just as the phone rang. Could it be?! James quickly grasped back onto the bar, filled with renewed hope. That hope gave James strength he hadn't imagined as he pulled himself back over that railing. He scrambled for his phone, which was still ringing. He picked it up and brushed off the snow. It wasn't her, it wasn't Megan. It was Kennedy. Why James answered, he'd never know. But instead of ignoring the call and going back off the brigde, James took the call. And that call saved him.

"Hey," he said, fighting to keep his voice even.

"Where the hell are you?! You left without saying goodbye! And Megan just drove off crying! What the hell happened, Jim?" James rubbed his forehead and felt the tears straining to break free once again. He fought them.

"I'm fine, nothing... nothing happened, Kennedy. I'm..." The tears fought back and won, this time with tremoundous force. James stood there on the bridge, sobbing and clutching his phone. After a moment of silence, Kennedy spoke.

"Jim," she whispered gently. "I'm going to come and get you. Where are you?" James told her and hung up the phone without waiting for a reply. He was shivering. He couldn't tell if it was from the wind of his tears. He looked back at his car, which was parked a short distance from the bridge. He walked hurriedly towards it, turning up his collar and stuffing his hands in his pockets in an effort to get warm. He made it to the car and got in. He started the car but left it in park. He turned on the heat as high as it could go and rubbed his hands together. He sat alone in his car, watching the snow fall down from the night sky. He tried has hard as he could not to look at the passenger seat, as if to avoid the truth. That it was empty. And now that she was gone, so was his heart. While James had saved his body from suicide on the bridge, his heart had fallen to its death. Already pierced with too many arrows to count and stabbed with blades and twisted, James' heart was in poor shape. Perhaps it was better it was gone now, he thought bitterly. But then he'd think of her...

"Megan, I don't really know how to say this, but I think you're pretty awesome."

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself," she asid with a giggle and a smile.

"I really like you, is what I meant. Not just as friends, anymore... I'm sorry, i'm terrible at this."

"Really? You like me? That's..." Her smile could light up the world. James had never seen her bluish as much as she had been in that very moment... James realized he was smiling. And then he remembererd the rest, and once more, the tears came back. James sat in his car and cried until Kennedy came. Headlights shone on his idle vehicle, and two figures ran towards James. He held his head and bawled, and when the door opened and Kennedy was there, James fell into her embrace. She gently pulled him from the car, and once he was out hugged him. He was crying his broken heart out, and the tears mixed with Kennedy's long blonde hair. She rubbed his back and whispered comforting words, but James couldn't hear them, he couldn't think straight. Not without her. The second blurry form patted James on the shoulder. Through his tears James could see it was Ezra, Kennedys ex boyfriend and James' best friend. He didn't have it in him to figure out why the two had come together, and forgot about it as soon as he'd thought of it. Kennedy let him go and James turned to Ezra. He wiped tears from his face and Ezra opened his arms.

"Screw it, bromance has no limits. C'mon," Ezra said. James managed a laugh despite his circumstances and let Ezra hug him. Jim cried on his shoulder and let Ezra and Kennedy walk him back to Ezra's truck, and helped him into the backseat. Kennedy climbed into the back with James and Ezra got into the drivers seat. James hadn't stopped crying, and didn't the entire drive back to his house. He just let Kennedy hold him. No one said anything. The muffled sound of crying was the only sound. Once they got to Jim's house they all went inside, and sat in the living room. Kennedy sat with James on the couch and Ezra sat cross legged in an armchair. James had his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees as he cried, softly now. Kennedy pulled her hair to one side and glanced at Ezra, who motioned to James while pulling off his thick rimmed glasses. Kennedy rested her hand on Jim's shoulder.

"Jim... can you tell us what happened?" James slowly raised his head and wiped his red eyes. He stared at his feet, an sniffled.

"I don't really know where to start," he whispered. Ezra had never seen James this way. He was usuallty so full of life, always cracking a joke. What was this, who was this man in front of him? Whatever had happened to him, Ezra knew it had to be serious.

"Let's start at the begining, that seems like as good a place as any," Ezra suggested. James nodded his head slowly, and picked himself up a bit. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. Kennedy rubbed his shoulder and wiped a stray tear from Jim's cheek.

"It's ok, Jim. We're both here for you," she said. James nodded and took a deep breath.

"I guess I can try and talk about it," he said finally. Ezra nodded and Kennedy scooted a little closer, resting a hand on James' knee. James gazed at the carpet intently, as if searching for an answer her knew he'd never find. And then he began his story.

"I think this all started back in August, running season. You guys both remember that, right? It feels like such a short while ago..." James began staring straight ahead, slowly moving his head from side to side in disbelief at what had occured. Kennedy glanced at Ezra, who was leaning back in his chair, rubbing his thin beard. Kennedy turned back towards James.

"Do you want to talk about the time you guys first atarted having feelings for each other?" James nodded, but kept staring stright ahead.

"We'd been friends for so long, but it was hard to imagine her any other way. And then... I don't know, I can't remember a single defining moment that I saw her and had feelings other then the simple love for a friend. It was gradual, and developed over time. I got to know her better and she got to know me... Ezra, do you remember when I asked you?" Ezra nodded.

"Do you remember what I told you?" he asked. James nodded, and managed a slight smile despie the circumstances.

"It was your YOLO speech."

"I said that wouldn't you rather take the risk now while you have the chance then live your entire life wondering 'what if?' And that's all true. But now here's the second part of that. My goal in life is to experience as much as I possibly can. So if I was you, Megan was an experience. Everything the two of you did was something you'll always remember. But treat it as an expierence, and try something new. Like with me, Kennedy was an experience. Would I ever want that again, probably not. But that's just an example." Ezra retained eye contact with James even as Kennedy was staring at him.

Jerk, she thought. "Yeah, and we worked it out and became friends. So maybe there's a chance of that for you and Megan." James looked down at the floor again. He rubbed his hand on the soft brown leather of the couch.

"I don't know if she'll ever talk to me again. She'll probably never believe anything I say." Ezra now turned and looked at Kennedy. She couldn't help but notice his sad brown eyes he gave whenever he felt bad for someone. he two shared a look, and Kennedy turned back towards James.

"Let's talk about something else. What's your favorite memory with her?" she asked, resting her hand back on James' knee.

"It was at the airport, before I left for Florida."

"Hey, I was there!" Kennedy exclaimed. James sat up a little straighter and looked at Kennedy.

"Yeah, you were. You remembner it, right?" Kennedy nodded.

 

The terminal was bustling with travelers. The cool November wind was whipping snow against the windows of the airport, and inside men with long coats and thick scarves bustled about carrying luggage and talking on their phones, eager not to miss their flights. Amungst the chaos, James, Megan, and Kennedy sat together in a close group. James and Megan sat next to each other and Kennedy across from them. Kennedy was glad she'd remembered to bring her coat, as the airport itself was a bit chilly. She saw Megan had crossed her arms and tucked them close to her chest. James glanced over at her and took off his coat, puttin git around her shoulders. Megan seemed surprised, and jumped when the coat touched her skin. She turned and smiled at James, who smiled back. Kennedy sat back and watchthed the two. They'd only been "official" for a few weeks, and she thought they were the cutest couple she'd ever seen. The three were waiting for Jim's plane, which would take him to Florida where the rest of his family was waiting. They hadn't been waiting long, and Kennedy didn't mind. Looking at the two people in front of her that seemed so nervous, as if they didn't want to screw anything up, reminded her of Ezra, before she had screwed up. She remembered the first kiss the two had shared, and smiled. Watching James and Megan, she knew both of them were dying for physical contact but no one wanted to make the first move. She opened her mouth to say something when James' flight was called over the loudspeaker. James turned to her.

"Where you gonna say something?" he aske with a smile. She shook her head.

"No, I was just going to say how cute you two looked!" James smiled and Megan blushed. turning away. James got up and so did Kennedy.

"Thanks for waiting, you didn't have too," James said, openeing up his arms and hugging Kennedy. She hugged him back. She could feel his heart beating fast, bu tshe knew it wasn't because of her. She smiled again.

"Hey, it's not like I was doing anything else, right?" James laughed and dropped his arms. He turned to Megan. She smiled at him. Kennedy saw James' eyes twinkle.

"I'm going to miss you, you know," James said.

"Huh, maybe I'll think of you once or twice," Megan said flippantly, making a show of holding out her nails and inspecting them. James chuckled and shook his head.

"Whatever, I just need to get away from you. Guess we're saying how we really feel." Megan smiled again.

"Do you want your coata back?"

"I don't need it, it's a lot warmer where I'm headed. You keep it." The two looked at each other for a moment, and James took a step forward.

Oooh, is he gonna do it?! Kennedy thought. But James stopped short.

"Umm, I'll call yoy when I land. Is that alright?" Megan nodded. James picked up his bag. "Alright, I should probably head out." Kennedy did a mental face palm. Did she have to do everything around here?!

"You two should at least hug each other, you won't see her for another week!" James and Megan looked at each other. James shrugged and opened his arms, and moved close to her. Megan shyly stood there, and opened her arms. She smiled and the two embraced. Kennedy wanted to take a picture but for the sake of the moment didn't. After a while the two let go, and James ran the back of hs hand against her face. Kennedy looked away t ogive the two privacy. When she turned back. James was taking a step back and Megan was beaming, her blue eyes shining brighter then Kennedy had ever seen. James waved goodbye and walked away, merging into the crowd of buisness men and women and travelers.

 

Chapter 2

Both Kennedy and Ezra were still at James' house. Jim was taking a little alone time in his room, but the two friends had decided that they'd hang around for a while, at least until James wanted to go to bed. Kennedy was making hot chocolate in the kitchen while Ezra was calling his girlfriend, telling her where he was and that he woyuldn't be home for the night. Right before he hung up Kennedy entered the room carrying two cups of cocoa.

"Thanks," Ezra said when she handed him a cup.

"Sure," she said. She sat down on the same couch she had sat on with James and tucked her legs up next to her. She took a sip of her steaming hot cocoa, and almost burned her tounge. Ezra had set his down on a nearby endtable and was texting someone on his phone. Kennedy peered over her mug at him. She couldn't help but think how nice he looked, with his spiffy winter coat and scarf. She took another sip of her hot chocolate. Across the room Ezra was pretending to ignore her stare, and contuned to pretend to text. When he glanced up she was looking down, into her mug. He admired the long, curly blonde hair that fell down her back. A strand was pulled up over her shoulder. She had yet to take off her white winter coat, and Ezra realized he was still waering his. He stood uo and took it off, folding it as well as is scarf over the arm of his chair. Kennedy slid out of hers as well, putting it on the couch beside her. Ezra looked at her again. The curves of her body were perfectly outlined in the long sleeve shirt she wore. Ezra picked up hid cocoa and took a sip. He knew the road he was about to go down would only cause hurt, but he needed to know. He had to know why. Part of him didn't want to know why Kennedy had done what she'd done, but he knew the curiosity would eat him up if he never asked. He took another sip of cocoa.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked. Kennedy jumped a tiny bit, and Ezra pretended not to notice. She held her cup with both hands and turned to face him.

"Yeah, sure." Ezra leaned forward and looked Kennedy in the eyes.

"Why Nick?" Kennedy gasped and felt as if she'd been stabbed. Memories and moments and words she'd pushed away for so long were back, flooding her heart and her mind with regret and hearache. Ezra could see the emotional explosion that spread across her face and felt his own heart do the same. Betrayal, anger, resentment, and depression overcame him as it had the night he'd first heard. Kennedy opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. Instead, she stood up and ran for the door. Before she could get to it someone grabbed her and turned her around. It was Ezra. He held her at arms length and just looked at her. The tears were streaming down her face when he pulled her close against his chest and embraced her. She shook in his arms and he held her.

"I'm so sorry, Ezra, I'm so so so sorry..." she whipsered through the tears. Ezra stroked her back and fought back tears of his own. The two stood in the mudroom of James' house, holding each other, as the wind howled outside and inside brewed a storm of it's own.

"I'm sorry, too," Ezra whispered.