Blood Wishes

I don't know what's stopping me.
If I still had my pocket knife.....
I don't know.
I really don't.
I would feel better.
I know that.
But is it worth it?
Just a scratch or two......
Or three.....
Nothing that won't heal in a week or so.
I just can't hold it together much longer.
This is bad.
This....
What is this?
I know the release of blood could make it
Go away.
At least for awhile.
But that's not true,
Is it?
Not this time.
This is different.
I wish I knew.....
I wish I wasn't a coward.