I WANT IT ALL

I WANT IT ALL. I’LL TAKE IT ALL. Let me feel the vibrations of my being in all the keys, in the majors and the minors, in the sharps and the flats. Let me dance to fear, let me quiver to passion, let me cry to love. Let me suck the milk of life from the breast of my being. Give me pain, give me comfort, give me sadness, give me joy, nourishment for my soul.

I WANT IT ALL, all the wavelengths and all the frequencies. Let the rays of life be refracted in the prism of my self. Let them shine through crystal panels of brilliancy upon the screen of my emotions.

Do not deny me the grief and the sorrow. Let me taste its bitter tears and with it . . . I shall grow. Do not protect me. Do not shelter me. Do not deprive me of solitude or loneliness. Let me have it to feel the beauty of its void.

Let me always be in focus, and let the focus be in my life through all the shades of all the feelings, through all the tremors of my being. Let me sway to the rhythm. Let me tremble to the beat, pangs of longing and despair, spasms of happiness and frustration. Let me have the sweet sadness of departure and the pure joy of returning.

Give me the silver chalice of life, pour in the wine of many vineyards and let me drink the vinegar with the honey. Spare me not the fruit of the forgotten orchard. I’ll take it all.

I’LL TAKE IT ALL. Let there be nothing I haven't tasted, the love and the torment, the confusion and the anxiety, the agitation and the serenity, fireworks of life. Let me be forever drunk with it. I want it all. Like a glutton, let me sit down at the table and sink my teeth into it and devour its innards. Let me bite into the fruit and let the juice dribble out of the sides of my mouth. Let me eat from the common bowl. Let me drink from the well. Mine is a hunger that knows no hunger. Mine is a thirst that knows no thirst. Mine is a love of life. Mine is a total acceptance.

Whatever was, whatever is, whatever will be, it’s all good. I want it. I want it all. And thus wanting . . . I SHALL HAVE NO WANTS. It’s all so high. And so am I. And so am I.

Jay Frankston
Little River, CA 95456
wlp@mcn.org