Scrap 11

SCRAP 11
‘They’ll catch you out one of these days,’ warns Rosa. ‘Some of the people you mix with have big mouths.’ Frank finishes another pint of bitter and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘Like who?’ he asks. ‘Like Ginger Harris.’ He laughs, ‘come off it; who takes any notice of that idiot?’
Rosa finishes her drink and Frank takes the glasses back to the bar. He returns with a tray laden with more drinks, packets of crisps, chocolate bars and peanuts. ‘I don’t know where you put it all,’ says Rosa, watching in amazement as Frank shoves a whole Mars bar into his mouth. He makes short work of it, swallows and rubs his ample belly. ‘I should have thought that was obvious. Gotta keep your strength up. Can’t be like these skinny gits always going down with colds and flu.’ He lights a cigarette and goes into his usual coughing fit.
Rosa waves the smoke away. ‘You should give up that filthy habit.’ Frank gasps for breath, wipes his face with a clean handkerchief and takes another long drag. ‘Only thing that keeps me going,’ he wheezes.
‘So what other mischief have you been up to this week?’ asks Rosa as she pops a dry roast peanut into her mouth. Frank tips half a packet into his and crunches loudly. He suddenly notices DC Staples and two other men he hasn’t seen before, watching him from their places in the beer garden. Rosa looks worried. ‘Do you think he heard any of that?’ she whispers. ‘Nah, don’t take any notice of Laughing Boy. He doesn’t know his arse from his elbow.’
Frank heads for the bar again and returns with two toasted cheese sandwiches. ‘Here, this will warm you up.’ He hands one to Rosa and her eyes widen. ‘Blimey, there must be half a pound of cheese in this,’ she says. ‘Yeah,’ grins Frank, taking a careful bite from the scalding hot treat, ‘There’s a lot of it about.’ Rosa gives him a quizzical glance. Frank taps the side of his nose. ‘Dan has a fridge full of it, so I heard.’ Rosa frowns, ‘I wonder where he got it?’ Frank cools his mouth by downing another pint. ‘New Zealand, I believe. Bloody big block of cheese is a forty pounder. Takes a lot of cutting up.’
‘And I suppose that every caff and pub on the island is offering Ploughman’s Specials this week?’ laughs Rosa. ‘Quite a few I expect,’ agrees Frank. ‘Drink up, it’s time we were making a move.’
Rosa nods towards Staples, who has been taking a keen interest in them. ‘If he’s here to spy on you he’ll have you if you try to drive off.’ But Frank seems untroubled. He even raises his glass in Staples’ direction before draining it. ‘Life, my dear Rosa, is a joke,’ he says. ‘You just have to learn to laugh at it.’ Rosa looks less than convinced. ‘Staples doesn’t seem to be laughing,’ she observes.’
‘Ah but he doesn’t know what the joke is.’