Behind Closed Doors

Behind Closed Doors

Keeping my head down I study the floor
Trying not to meet your eyes,
The look that makes me small.
You reach out a hand and touch my cheek with fingertips
And I try not to recoil, I'm fighting back the rising urge
To run for the door.
You take me in your arms and hold me close
I tremble in your warmth
The memories flood to remind me that I was always yours,
My brain clicks into overdrive - I'm trying to decide
If it is possible to both love and hate at the self-same time.
Your voice mutters to me 'Are you alright?' and I reply
'Yes my darling I am fine, yeah and I apologise',
Under my breath I apologise
For this hint of rebelliousness, this pretence of loving -
You gave me everything I have, and something more besides,
You gave me shelter from the storm that now lives in your eyes
And every single touch only serves to remind
That you're the one I love and the what that terrifies.