Pink water
By joypastelsol
- 599 reads
The sight of the pink water around him was rather calming, if he could say so.
Jaebeom and Jinyoung lived in the same town. They were neighbours actually. They did not match quite well, Jaebeom thought Jinyoung was fake and pretentious and Jinyoung must feel the same way about him.
Jaebeom hated his home, the heavy stiffness of his father suffocating the air, his mother barely a ghost. Jinyoung hated also his home, for different reasons.
They fought a lot, both for the sake of it and for the rush that came with gripping flesh and punching bones. Jaebeom’s father would hit him more, Jinyoung’s father would fuck his son’s mouth until his lips became red like raspberries.
Despite that, they were stuck together.
When they reached 17 years old, they fucked once. It was at Jinyoung’s house, his parents were absent and Jinyoung started it, by trailing tentatively a hand on Jaebeom’s thigh, up, up. Jaebeom had looked at him with wide eyes, but when Jinyoung’s palm had attained his crotch, his expression had changed to become darker. Jinyoung then had begun to massage it and Jaebeom had put his hand on top of Jinyoung’s one, resolutely staring in his eyes.
As soon as Jinyoung had decided Jaebeom was worked up enough, he had unbuckled Jaebeom’s pants to slide his fingers between the zipper and had continued to palm Jaebeom. Jaebeom had kissed him like he wanted to devour him.
It had escalated pretty quickly after that. Jinyoung had ended his day his back exaggeratingly arched, Jaebeom’s hands painfully on him and Jaebeom’s dick in him.
He had liked it, but he loved Jaebeom more.
Jaebeom was his water, his fire, his air. He hoped he was he same for him too.
Therefore, when Jaebeom left the town, leaving only a torn book behind him, Jinyoung thought he was dying inside -he was. Now his father was the only one to use his mouth for relief, except that Jinyoung hated his father.
The angry red blood flowing lazily along his arms indeed seemed relaxing, hypnotizing even. Drip, drop, on the tiled floor.
They found Jinyoung in his pink pool, pretty face empty and pale, a book floating over him.
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Comments
A very sad tale, combining
A very sad tale, combining the beauty of the boy's love with the harsh brutality of his life. The image of Jaebeom leaving just 'a torn book' behind him is particularly striking.
The story's brevity and simplicity makes it very effective. However if you wanted any suggestions, I would say that a few more words about why they were initially 'stuck together' might be helpful - is it because there is no-one else for them to mix with, or is it because their home lives draw them together despite their not liking each other? Just a few words would do.
You don't want to spoil the overall structure though, and other people may feel differently about it.
I note in your profile you say you are worried your writing might be 'lame'. No, it isn't!
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