A Poem About My Life

why do people die when we still need them? why do people sie when we're gonna be left lost,alone,suicidal,paranoid and with nothing but an awful life left, it was bad enough of a life when they are alive but then they leave us and seem to take all the good parts of us with them and no one there to help us, left without the things we need and everything we crave, left with hallucinations we have to ignore, left with terroring dreams, left with broken promises and false hope we love to cling on to but then its all ripped away with the knife slicing into our soul,body and mind tearing us apart its another day, another day to lose a key you need, to hold a knife to your neck while crying then throwing it back into the drawer, another day to wake up wanting to hold someones hand but realizing theyre gone, another day to force on a smile, another day to be insane,lost, in pain and to feel absolutely alone no matter how many people are around, another day to realize im nearly grown up but didnt get to be a child,pre teen or teen like many others did always because of something, another day to realize there's no way im going to ever make it in this world, how many more days can i force myself to go on and pretend im ok, even try to convince myself