unstable desires

Dark,Dark boy hidden behind the shadows in my mind the words you send me sound so deathly kind yet cruel to the ends of life you say I'd be better with my soul consumed by you, you say you'll take it if you take my life and bring to life in my death such bittersweet memories and you'll never ever leave me, I'll never be alone and I won't care that my life is gone, are you paranormal I question slowly, but you just keep going telling me all the darkest temptations and revealing false revelations you say you'll consume my soul if my blood my dark dark blood is scattered since you are a dark dark boy, so I imagine the ways I could go in a gore, I could pierce thousands of pins into my skin to represent my awful sins and slowly decay today slowly bleed slowly fade, I could cut slowly slowly my skin away then maybe then I'd look ever so thin, I'd achieve something that I cannot succeed although it is consuming me, my skin slowly I would cut and glitter I would mix, blood and glitter what a lovely crucifix, or I could stab it through my beating heart and laugh and cry as I slip away into a unknown yesterday, maybe a place where I'd be good enough since my worst would take me there, but act on the thoughts do I dare? I think not, you must be just in my head not a boy that's truly dead
You are lightened by the darkness in my mind and when I ask your name you act ashamed I can see you there sitting in the shadows, here your soft messages being sent, then you scream, you scream with all that rage "Take your life! Stab through a shiny knife! Your blood will set me free from being lonely!"
I question everything, as I lye here on the brink, the brink of my mortal thoughts and the actions I could achieve, confused on what to believe yet not over the edge, not completely over the edge, not completely out of it, just on the brink, with the ability to think with distorted feelings, maybe I just need to go to bed more but you're calling me to join you living as dead with a shared soul, what an interesting choir, I'm breathing, I'm shaking so coldly and I hear a laugh ever so boldly within my skin of a place unknown but one I must since of home gone away to a dark tunnel of the bright, it's just beyond my sight, should I go into the eternal knight covered in a beautiful mess of blood and glitter, you keep saying "it's best, it's best" and I hold my chest, why am I breathing but cannot take a breath, why is my heart beating even though it's so broken, is it time for me to rest? Maybe I need sleep, maybe it's best, I'm on the edge of pure happiness and the darkest
Do you see my burning flesh in your own dimension? Do you see the animals ripping me apart and ingesting me? I'm seeing it all in my head but still I sit here looking out into nothingness but there's so much there, should my beating heart be spared? I've never belonged, but maybe my place has been yet to found, would I look skinnier fleshless laying on the ground? Would I be sweet enough then, since I'm horribble if I don't give in? Dark, dark boy, I guess I just imagine you because I want someone there forever I've lost so many
But if I'm just imagining you why can't I force you to vanish? Just leave me alone, just go away before you have my life's depth to pay
Burning with memories of the fire, and the memories of the ones who loved me scattered into the sea, the gulf that consumes me, is the water calling baby? Does something really want me for non-lustful desire? Is there a life inside me, a life of another, a life of a soul already consumed, shhh this is my secret I get screamed at enough by my mother, but love is there, even if it's hard to feel it truly is real but maybe I'm aching to become a skinny blood bath within my eternal fate, I'm slipping slowly into the smiling hate, having trouble processing what I'm even thinking, hope I don't do any acts unconsciously because I bet I'm fixing to break, here i am a messed up girl who grew up too fast, give or take
I'm freezing, freezing cold but burning, burning with heat, why am I seeing my body in my head hanging, hanging with defeat, hold on I might faint before this is through, so so weak, maybe I should drink, drown my face in the sink then cover myself with glitter and blood a truly lovely flood, dark dark boy, don't leave me, but you can't stay, I realize it isn't time to play today, maybe it's time to rest my head and go to bed but I doubt I can sleep with all these thoughts and images raging within me here I sit so sinfully, thinking of many, many, many, what is happening here? I can think of so many I could write for in my blood "I love you dear" but I feel no one ever so near yet I'm close to such a edge just stab me, fledge pouring out, how many "I love You's" do you think I could type to those who'd care before I was gone, my life popped like a balloon, maybe i should go to sleep soon and stay in bed no matter what, till noon, I'm so sleep deprived, I want to hug the moon, im hanging on the edge and I do so say, I hope that my last brink of sanity tonight will stay
Before I do a deadly act while blasting me some attack attack
I wonder if I was completely sane, had a normal life, wealth and such things if my sick images would be the same? Full of disdain, I ask your name boy in the shadows with no reply, I guess it's time to tell you goodbye, I do not know why but now I feel at peace in a crazy, tortured type of way, I think tonight, here I will stay