White Light

WHITE LIGHT

I CAN SEE MY BODY LYING ON THE BED, IN A PRIVATE ROOM , AT THE ULTRAMED CLINIC. THREE NURSES AND TWO DOCTORS ARE TRYING TO REVIVE ME....BRING ME BACK TO LIFE. BUT I KNOW THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE SUCH A PARAMOUNT TASK...I'M DEAD!

IT FEELS WEIRD, FLOATING IN THE MIDST OF THE ROOM, AN ETHEREAL SOUL NOW, THAT NOBODY NOTICE. I'D LOVE TO BE ABLE TO SHOUT 'HEY !, I'M RIGHT HERE! HELLO?!'...BUT NO... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

JUST WHEN I AM GETTING BORED OF WATCHING MY OWN DEATH, SOMETHING, A KIND OF STRONG AND DEEP ENERGY SURROUNDS ME, AND SUCKS ME INTO AN ENDLESS BLACK HOLE. IT'S COLD AND DARK IN HERE, AND I'M FLYING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT TO...WHO KNOWS!..I AM BEGINNING TO GET FRIGHTENED.. WHAT IF I WILL BE FOR EVER GLIDING IN THIS NARROW DARK SPACE?

I AM GETTING REALLY SCARED, BUT THEN I SEE A LIGHT, GLOWING IN WHAT I THINK IS THE END OF THIS BLOODY TUNNEL, THE END OF THIS BLACK SPACE HOLE...

I AM DRAWN TO THE LIGHT, LIKE A MOTH TO A LIGHT BULB, LIKE A COIN TO A MAGNET...

IT'S WARM NOW...MORE THAN THAT... IT'S REALLY HOT! ...I AM DRAWN NEAR AND I REALIZED ...IS FIRE!... I'M IN A CREMATORIUM ROOM!...IS THIS GOING TO HURT? ...I WONDER... I CAN FEEL THE HEAT AND IT'S HURTING ME!... SO...YOU CAN FEEL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD?... OH YES!

AND I WENT TROUGH MY CREMATORIUM RITUAL, AND I CRIED AND WAILED... AND BURNT, I DISAPPEAR AT LAST IN THE FLAMES, TURNING INTO GRAY FLEECES OF ASHES...

IT'S DARK...I'M ALONE...NOBODY'S HERE...I'M SCARED TO DEATH..HAHA!...MY ARMS ARE GONE, MY LEGS ARE GONE, MY WHOLE BODY! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A FACE!...SO I CAN'T CRY, OR SCREAM, OR CURSE.

I'M FLOATING IN THIS VOID, BLACK SPACE...WHERE'S GOD? WHERE ARE MY DEAD LOVED ONES?...WHAT ABOUT BEING WELCOMED?....THE SILENCE COULD GET ON MY NERVES..IF I HAD NERVES....IT SEEMS I'M ONLY LEFT WITH MY MIND...EVERYTHING IS ABSTRACT, VIRTUAL, SURREAL...AT LEAST MY MIND CAN WANDER IN THIS VAST ETERNITY, SO I SEEK AN HORIZON, A BORDER LINE, A LANDMARK...BUT THERE'S NONE. NOWHERE TO LAND, TO ANCHOR, TO PERTAIN...I DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE. I'M NOTHING...NOTHING AT ALL... ONE THING I CAN SAY : I'M FREE AT LAST!...BUT IS THIS FREEDOM WORTHWHILE? SO...I'M FREE...TO DO WHAT?... OH!...IF I COULD WALK, TALK, RUN ,JUMP, CRY, SING.!.. IF I COULD BE MY OLD SELF AGAIN!...

... IN THE FAR END OF THIS IMMENSITY , I DISCERN A LIGHT...LIGHT AGAIN!...WHITE, BRIGHT, INCANDESCENT...IT'S SO FAR AWAY!

I TRY TO COME NEAR AND I MANAGE TO DO SO. MY CONSCIENCE REACHES THE LIGHT.

IT LOOKS LIKE A STREET LAMP...I COME CLOSER... YES! NOW I CAN SEE THE SIDEWALK...FULL OF LITTER AND CIGARETTE BUTTS...A CAR BLOWS ITS HORN. I HEAR THE BRAKES... AND NOT SO FAR FROM THERE, A SIREN. SOMEONE YELLS ' HELP ME!...HELP ME, PLEASE!..HURRY UP!, THE BABY IS COMING!'

I FOCUS MY MIND SOMEWHERE AT MY RIGHT....A CAR IS PARKED NEARBY WITH ITS DOORS OPEN. INSIDE A WOMAN IS GIVING BIRTH TO A CHILD.

AN ANGUISHED MAN IS ASKING FOR HELP TO SOME PASSERS-BY. THE SIREN IS CLOSER NOW AND A PATROL CAR PARKS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME . I COME FORWARD AND THE TWO COPS THAT COME OUT OF IT, SORT OF KNOCK ME DOWN. I GRAB WITH MY MIND THEIR SHOULDERS, AND IN I GO...INTO THE CAR ALONG WITH THEIR HELPING HANDS...

THE WOMAN, WITH HER LEGS WIDE OPEN IS CRYING OUT LOUD ,WHILE THE HEAD OF THE BABY IS COMING OUT OF HER WOMB...

AND THEN, FOR THE SECOND TIME I FEEL SUCKED BY A WEIRD ENERGY...AND I OPEN MY EYES, VEILED BY BLOOD AND HUMID TISSUE TO THIS FRIGHTENING NEW WORLD...

AND I AM BORN!...

AGAIN...