The Old House Villanelle

The old house in Westminster is falling down.

Aunt Theresa has gone away.

She left the taps running. Perhaps we’ll drown.

The removal van is stuck in traffic on the other side of town.

The water levels are rising day by day.

Uncle Boris said he'll save us but he's a clown.

Go upstairs and dress for dinner – put on your evening gown.

(The gossip and tittle-tattle, you know what folk will say).

Shall I tell you that I love you before we drown ?

There are crocodiles in the tea rooms and rodents in the lounge.

How I used to like the chamber in September and May.

Look out! The old house is falling down.

I’ve found a rubber dinghy and thrown away the crown.

Black rod has run off with the regimental bouquet.

Please send my regards to nanny (before we drown).

Will you tell me that you love me ? (The water’s turning brown).

We could stand on the roof and pray

Eat barm cakes and sip beaujolais while we watch the old house fall down.

The taps are still running. I think we’ll drown.