It all began with Nana's cat

You will love the smell of a domestic cat
As it sizzles in the pan
Toss in some onions
And garlic
Then present it to your
Nan

And as you watch her gobble it up
Watch it dribbling down her chin
Have a little crazy laugh
Because this story
Is just about to begin

When she is finally
Full and content
When her tummy is fit to burst
Enquire after “Tiddles”
Be careful
This part must be
Unrehearsed

Now …
Watch her call out anxiously
For her only friend on earth
Savour the moment
Savour the panic
Guaranteed
Much merriment
Much mirth

No sign of the cat
Nan is concerned
Heart is weighing heavy
Before long
She will clutch at her chest
Bingo
Cardiac Arrest
Sit back
Enjoy
Have a bevy

Now …
She should be dead on the floor
Stinking of urine and faeces
This is the part
This is the start
Of cutting her up into pieces

Out come the tools
Because you are no fool
Dissection’s the favourite bit
Firstly she’s stripped
Cleaned up of the shit
Positioned
Now hurry
Let’s get lickety split

Before you begin
You may have a swim
In her body so ancient and old
Play with her titties
Fiddle her slitties
Go on
Dare yourself
Be brazenly bold

Now you’re subdued
And all fired up
Let’s begin with the job in hand
Steel upon bone
Will be condoned
Of this you truly must understand

Thrusting away right though the limbs
Blood is everywhere
As one is done
You realise the fun
Is in the fact
That you just don’t care
On to another
Sawing away
Until it’s only the torso that’s left
Stick the parts in a bag
Make sure there tagged
Be confident
For your skills
Are really quite deft

When all is finally over
When the said act is done
This will mean your journey
Has only just begun
Your future does look rosy
Of that I can assure
For I am now your mentor
The one you must adore

And as I raise a glass to you
For enjoying your first kill
I promise you
That life with me
Will give you lots of thrills
And so my friend
I think that now
That that is finally that
And just to think it all got started
With your Nana’s cat