Through the Haze - Part Ten

We must not lose ourselves in our sorrow, for in doing so, we allow our fears to win and lead over our lives. --Carminia Harcha, Book of Hope
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Isaac walked down to Ember's room, swallowing hard before he opened the door to enter. Ember's room smelled of death, and something chilled him to the bone. Ember's inert form rested upon the bed, a thick cover covering him, trying to offer him some warmth. Isaac slowly stalked closer to the bed, his heart hammering away in his chest.

Something was telling him to run. Some sort of sense was trying to warn him of something, but he couldn't figure out what. Unsure of what it was he was supposed to be warned about, he edged closer to Ember.

Ember was paler than before, and there was no longer any sweat beading his forehead. Frowning, Isaac wondered what was wrong. He looked around the room, feeling an icy chill crawl up his spine and latch onto him, making him stiffen slightly. 'What's going on?' he wondered quietly.

He reached out a hand to touch Ember's forehead, to feel how hot he was, and immediately flinched and pulled back with a short gasp. Ember was stiff, and strangely cold to the touch.

"...Ember?" he whispered quietly, not daring to believe it and thus make it so. "Ember, please..."

Shakily, his hands trembling so much that he could hardly do anything with them, he grasped Ember's wrist. His flesh was cold, his skin was stiff. He numbly fingered around and held his wrist tightly for a long moment.

Nothing.

"Ember...please...." he whispered desperately. "Please, Emb..."

His legs were wobbly and would no longer hold his weight. He went to his knees next to the bed, his vision blurred with unshed tears of disbelief and sorrow. Ember couldn't be dead. He couldn't be. He wasn't sure why he'd come in here in the first place. Ember had been okay when he'd gone to bed two hours ago, surely he couldn't have died in that short amount of time.

And if he had died, surely he wasn't that stiff and cold already.

Right?

Isaac swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry, Emb...I'm so sorry..." he found that he still gripped Ember's wrist. He brought his other hand up to grip it as well. Maybe the fingers on his left hand could better feel for a pulse. He prayed he would feel something, anything.

But still, there was nothing. No pulse. No nothing.

A strange sound emitted from the back of his throat as a single hot, salty tear trailed down his left cheek. He furiously blinked the rest of them back, continuously telling himself that he would not cry.

Ember hated seeing Isaac cry. He wouldn't want him to cry for him.

He wouldn't cry, even though that was the very thing he wanted to do oh so very badly at the moment. "I'm so sorry...please, Emb, don't..." he trailed off, choking back a sob. 'Don't cry,' he told himself. 'Emb wouldn't want you to cry for him. Don't cry, Isaac.'

He chanced a glance at Ember's pale face. All of the color had gracelessly faded away, leaving him as white as the sheet he lay upon, as the pillow under his head. 'It's not fair,' he thought to himself. 'It's just not fair. He didn't deserve it.'

"Not fair," he heard himself say alive. "Ember, it's not fair....please..." he bowed his head, his body trembling. "Please, you can't..." but he couldn't finish. "I'm so sorry...this is all my fault, Emb...all my fault. I'm the reason you're...I'm so sorry...." he took in a shaky breath, struggling to keep the tears at bay. It was hard, as they so desperately wanted to fall to show his pain, his grief. "I'm so sorry, Emb...I'm so sorry..."

The room seemed to be growing colder, but maybe that was just him, finally coming to accept what was happening, that his friend was gone.

Ember was dead. He was just going to have to get used to it, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much it pained him to admit and accept.

"I'm sorry...please..." he clenched his eyes tightly closed. "You can't...you can't be dead...please, Emb, don't..." a choked back sob forced its way into the world.

It just wasn't fair.
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Isaac sat up straight, his heart pounding fit to burst, his eyes wild and full of fear, his hair wet as it stuck to his face due to his sweat. He immediately threw his legs over the side of the bed and staggered toward the door, nearly slamming into it in his haste. He threw it open and lumbered down the hall, instantly opening Ember's door.

He had to make sure it was just a dream, that it wasn't real and Ember was okay. That he was still alive.

'Please just be a dream,' he silently pleaded. 'Please.'

He stalked toward the bed, somewhat dreading what he would find. What if it wasn't a dream? What if Ember was really dead? What if he was alone? What if his friend was gone because of him? He shivered at those thoughts and forced them away for the time being. He would worry about that later.

Right now, only Ember's well-being was important to him. That and nothing else.

He stopped at the edge of Ember's bed and peered down at him. He was pale, but not near as much as he had been in the dream. But that wasn't enough. Isaac shakily reached a hand out and rested it on Ember's head. Ember still had his high fever. He was clamy and sweating.

Isaac breathed a giant sigh of relief, feeling rather weak in the knees. In fact, his knees felt so weak that they refused to hold him up any longer. He went down beside the bed.

'Just a dream,' he thought to himself. 'Just a terrible, terrible dream...' he shivered as he remember it.

"I'm sorry, Ember..." he whispered into the silence of the room. "Please, you have to get better. I'll find a way to help you, I swear, just...just hold on...." he clenched his eyes tightly closed and curled his hands into fists at his sides. "Hold on, Emb...just a little longer, please...."

Ember had to hold on for a little longer. Maybe by then he'd be able to help him. Maybe by then the other two would be there to help him help Ember. He prayed that the others would hurry. Ember was slipping away, it wasn't hard to tell.

He didn't have much time left.
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Gabriel let out a small gasp, feeling a sharp pain in his side. He had to grip the edge of the couch to keep himself steady and standing. Loukoi was in the other room, packing some things they would need for their trip. The pain continued to grow, and Gabriel's vision turned hazy, his mind clouded.

An icy chill crept up to him and gripped him tightly. It was so sudden that he forgot to breathe when the pain became all the worse. He lost his grip on the couch and sunk to the floor, shivering. He curled into a tight ball and gripped his side tightly, clenching his eyes against the pain.

But the pain continued to grow. The chill merged with the pain, making it freeze and tingle and give him shudders. He looked up, his vision blurred, and tried to focus on the couch. If he could just get to it, he could sleep...

Gabriel ungracefully crawled toward the couch, successfully knocking over the table that stood beside it, making a glass fall off of it and shatter as it hit the ground.

"Gabe?" a voice called out to him from the kitchen. "Everything okay in there?"

Gabriel gripped the couch and tried to haul himself up onto it. Finally, after much pain on his part, he made it and flopped down, sweat beading his forehead. It hurt to breathe; the pain was too great. He found himself gasping for breath, leaving his mouth partially opened. His eyes slid closed as his eyebrows knitted together in pain.

The room turned cold. So dreadfully cold, and he cursed the sudden change in temperature. His body trembled with the sudden chill, and the pain continued to grow, leaving his side and crawling all around his body, forcing him into the icy pain an inch at a time.

"Gabe?" the voice called out, sounding a little louder. "You gonna answer me?"

He couldn't answer. His voice refused to work. The pain prevented that. The pain refused to allow him enough breath to scream out his pain, to even whimper. He could do nothing except lie there.

Slowly, he lost control over his limbs. He was paralyzed. And cold. So very, very cold. He didn't even have the strength to shiver, nor the strength to allow his teeth to chatter.

"Gabriel!" a startled voice yelped from the doorway of the kitchen. He heard hurried footsteps rush to the couch, and suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, gripping him tightly. "Gabe? You okay?"

'Okay?' he thought to himself. 'Do I LOOK okay to you?'

"Gabe, calm down," said Lou, his voice worried. "Calm down. Breathe, Gabe, just breathe."

'Breathe? I AM breathing!' he wanted to shout, but could only think it in his head. Even that was beginning to be too much.

"Gabriel, talk to me. Breathe, okay? Breathe, Gabe, just breathe!"

Gabriel felt light-headed and weightless, as light as a feather. One of his eyelids were pried open by a finger, and for a moment he saw the terrified face of his friend. Lou was pale, his eyes wide. Then the eyelid was let down, gently.

"Listen to me, Gabriel, okay? Just listen. Breathe. Can you do that for me? Just breathe, that's all I ask. Breathe."

The chill seemed frozen. It was no longer moving throughout his body, but it wasn't going away, either. He still couldn't move, couldn't tell Loukoi what was wrong, couldn't open his eyes to let him know he could hear him....

Couldn't breathe...

He felt a bit panicked. 'I can't breathe,' he thought to himself. 'Damn it, I can't breathe!'

"Gabriel, please, just breathe. Breathe for me, Gabe, just breathe!"

Gabriel's mind was hazy. Lou's voice was fading in and out. 'No,' he thought to himself. 'Please. I don't want to die.'

"Gabe, please...." Lou sounded strange.

'I'm sorry...'

"Please, Gabriel, you have to breathe."

'But I can't,' he thought.

"Gabriel, breathe! Breathe already! Just breathe, damn it!"

'I'm trying!' he wanted to shout. 'I can't!'

"Don't you dare die on me, you hear? You die and I'll bring you back myself and kill you! Don't you dare die on me, Gabriel!"

Something warm grabbed his shoulders and he was shaken roughly. The pain was beginning to go away, and he was beggining to slip away into sweet oblivion.

"Gabriel!"

The chill faded with the pain.

"Gabe, please, don't you dare do this to me!"

Suddenly, he could breathe again. The pain was gone, along with the icy chill. He was no longer paralyzed, though he felt like his limbs weighed a ton. He could hardly move, and he felt strangely tired.

"Gabriel?" Lou's hopeful voice.

Gabriel slowly pried his eyes open. They would only open halfway, but that was enough. Lou looked rather pale, his eyes wide and wild. "Don't....look so worried..." he mumbled sluggishly.

Lou let out a huge breath of relief, and then his face twisted in anger. "You idiot!" he snarled. "I thought you were dying! I swear, if that was some trick you played on me, I'll kill you myself!" he punched Gabriel in the arm as he said this.

Gabriel smirked weakly, tiredly. "Wasn't a trick. Promise. It was...real..." he shifted slowly, trying to push the feeling of numbness out of his limbs. "Don't...know what happened..."

Lou nodded. "We'll figure something out," he promised, and then got to his feet and hurried to the kitchen.

Gabriel slowly curled and uncurled his fingers, trying to regain control of them. He was still doing this when Lou returned to his side with a glass of water.

Lou's hand was rather shaky, Gabriel noticed.

"What's wrong?" he mumbled.

Lou said nothing for a long moment, helping Gabriel into a sitting position before he handed him the glass. "I didn't know what was going on," he said with a shrug. "I was worried."

Gabriel figured it was a big understatement, but said nothing of the matter, gratefully sipping his drink. He coughed a few times as the water trickled down. "Nice...to be able...to breathe again..."

Lou looked away. "Yeah, I'll bet," he muttered.

"You okay?"

Lou looked at him. "You're the one who almost died, and you're asking me if I'm okay? You have issues, my friend," he said, offering a small smile.

Gabriel weakly returned the smile. "Yes, I do."

"I'm okay," said Lou. "You just worried me, that's all."

Gabriel nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, Lou...but I don't think I'm up to leaving tonight..." he hated to admit that he wasn't feeling very well, but he knew there was absolutely no way he would be able to travelt tonight.

Lou nodded. "I figured. Besides, I wouldn't have let you go tonight after that little episode, anyway."

Gabriel smiled softly. Lou returned the gesture and turned back toward the kitchen.

"Lie down," he ordered, disappearing into the interior of the kitchen.

Gabriel sighed heavily and did as he was told. "Yes, Mom," he said.

There was a brief arguement in the other room. He smiled to himself and allowed his heavy eyelids to slip closed.

Right before he passed out on the couch, he focused what was left of his energy on the spot where the pain had first started, trying to sense if there was any permenant damage. There was none there, or at least none that he could sense.

Maybe that was a good thing.

Hopefully, he'd awaken in a few hours and feel a lot better than he was feeling right now.

He could only hope.