The Note

Dear Mom,

We had a rocky past, this is true. We
got in so many fights and you saw the monster I became. You saw
through the lies and realized I was becoming like my sister R*****,
you knew it was a matter of time before I was completely crazy. You
tried to nip it in the butt but instead you assumed every word coming
out of my mouth was a lie. That's where you were wrong, as a kid, yes
I did tell stories a lot. What did you want from me? I was in a
living hell. You had me living with the devil in human skin. I had no
friends, except one, who lived to far away to go over everyday. I was
abused by J*** every single day of my life. Sometimes physical
sometimes mental. And yes when I reached my teen years I was easily
manipulated by guys, again I say what do you want from me? You
neglected me, dad is dead. I had no one. I just wanted someone to
make me feel special. If that meant I had to lie all the time to see
or protect them so be it. I really don't know what you expected. You
can't just not be a mom for sixteen years and then decide you don't
like who I’m becoming. On top of that putting my step-sister
N****** on a pedestal while I begged for your stupid attention really
didn't help either.

Dear Dad,

You've seen everything since you died.
A whole ten years. Bet you are happy you died and didn't have to put
up with your train wreck of a daughter. I wish I could say 'see you
soon' but I’m not going where you are.

Dear R*****,

I don't expect you to come to my
funeral. Or even send flowers. Or care. But I did love you, I never
gave up on you. And I’m just as crazy as you.

Dear N******,

We both know why I didn't like you.
Mom treated you like a queen and you aren't even her actual kid. You
are the golden child. And now you are the only child. Take care of
mom. Maybe this will be the reason you see her finally considering,
you know, it's been five years. If you aren't busy with work, of
course.

Dear D******,

You were my bestfriend. I love you so
much more than anything. Jesus, you are the most amazing person I
have ever met if it wasn't for you I would've died a long time ago.
You are the most beautiful, smart, funny, caring person on this
planet. I love you damn it. You and your mom and your sister. You are
all amazing. Thank you for 8 amazing years. I really do love you I’m
sorry.

Dear C***,

I cannot even process the idea of how
I got you in the first place. You are the best man ever and you don't
deserve a train wreck like me. I love you, you were my true love.