The Booth: Part 2

I sit in the same café and booth that my father and I used as our first meeting place. Three months passed since that disastrous conversation and though I still hold a lot of anger towards him, my Father did convince me to meet with him again. Of course, I want a relationship with my dad, but over a decade of resentment is holding me back from truly trying to create one. Years of watching my friends interact with their fathers and attend Daddy Daughter Dances cross my mind and feed the anger that sits on my heart. The entrance bell chime interrupts my thoughts and I look up to see the man who is the reason behind all my anger. 

 
As I walk to the booth, I try to think of a way to explain to my daughter why I waited so long to contact her and her brothers. I sit down across from her, fold my hands on the table, and look up into her eyes. When I looked at her I expected to see hate, but all I saw was sadness and my chest constricted. Everything I planned to say left my mind and I sat there speechless.

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“Hi,” I whisper as I straighten myself on the padded bench. The moment we made eye contact all the anger that had been building up inside vanished leaving sadness in its place. The little girl in me wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and forgive him for leaving, but she was held back by the young woman who remembered the many afternoons spent working to help her mom pay off the debt he left us with. “How have you been?”

 
“Good…good. I have been talking to your brothers more and I am going to take Ash to the old arcade I would take you and Eli to when you were both younger.” I hoped I wasn’t crossing a line by bringing up the past. A sigh of relief left me when she gave a small smirk. “I was thinking maybe all four of us could go do something together at some point. It is totally up to you.”        

           
“Um, sure. That sounds like fun.” That sounded like torture, but it would be nice to have my brothers there so they could carry the conversation. I have been trying to think of ways to ask him about why he left and waited to contact us, but it seems this visit is leaning towards lighter topics. I’m not about to let it go. We will have to meet up again to finish that discussion.