Dealing with the reality of loss

More than the shock. There is a pain. A deep emptiness that consumes your entire being. But that's not all. It's first the disbelief the moment of self assurance that what they are saying can't possibly be true. Then slowly like a creeping darkness the idea of the possibility that they are speaking the truth and finally the acceptance envelopes you. It's like staring down into a dark pit and realising the ground your are standing on is being rent apart under your feet. What you believed to be reality is broken apart with the realisation of death. Death the finality just seems impossible.

The pain is unbearable and then the.conflicting emotions of pain, loss, anguish, denial and acceptance. All at the same time flowing and consuming the mind and heart. The madness of the loss grips you and squeezes its hold until you are at the brink of your sanity. When you are at your wits end it releases. And laughing forces you to slowly begin to attempt to claw your way back to the reality that you wish to reject the reality you can't deny. The reality of knowing your have lost someone. The reality of death.

The aftermath is a zombie like state. Where the mind is still trying to force its way back to the reality. The pain at the forefront everything else seems meaningless. It's a numb state. Its a painful state. But it's the closest state to acceptance and recovery.