Sleeping Weird

I arose atilt one sunny morn.

Listing to the right.

I rued what the day had borne.

My hip had froze up tight.

 

Musta been from the way I laid.

From some ungainly attitude I ‘splayed.

 

‘Cause-I’d-been

Sleeping weird.

My legs were all askew.

Sleeping weird.

My joints gave out on cue.

Sleeping weird.

In the towel my bones had threw.

Sleeping weird.

What is a boy to do?

 

The trash service was thunking or

I dreamt I was spelunking.

To the result, some applied a jape.

The screening nurse who knew me,

calmly listened to me

and said:

“Deets, please. I know weird’s your baseline state.”

They said my hip was wrong.

Before sending me along,

the doctor there prescribed some speckled pills.

I thanked them in profusion

then took me and my contusion

and hobbled off to get the order filled.

 

‘Cause I’d been

Sleeping weird

and, thus, became a patient.

Sleeping weird.

My joints were on a strike.

Sleeping weird.

Now, my cartilage was ragin’.

Sleeping weird.

I’d had a troubled night.

 

Then a young man at the bus stop

said: “I’m noticing a scowl, pop,

and a bit of a hitch in your get-along.

I’m worried ‘bout your state, you see,

most specifically, your knee.

From the looks of you, there’s something very wrong.”

 

Sleeping weird.

I couldn’t tell the lad.

Sleeping weird.

What a laugh he would have had.

Sleeping weird.

Is weird by definition.

Sleeping weird.

So, I issued a revision:

 

“In the desert in Espera,

I drilled into the terra,

providing them with needed H2O.

This is also due to scootin’,

‘cause after heckling Putin,

I effected an escape across the pole.

And, while on vacation

amongst much precipitation,

I happened ‘pon Madonna in the flood.

So, I rescued her with honor

and without a drop upon her

my leg gave out while in a yard of mud.”

 

Not sleeping weird.

The lad was much impressed.

Not sleeping weird.

I’d side-stepped the mess.

Not sleeping weird.

He took the 30 west,

Not sleeping weird.

and wished me all the best.

 

To the apothecare I went,

with my leg a bent,

and encountered a lab-coated pharmacist.

From her focused mien

she struck me as all-seeing.

I understood there’s little that she’ll miss.

Stuff she knew in drams

like keeping track of milligrams

and dealing with complex insurance bills.

She ensured I was equipped,

handed me the ‘scrip,

and asked me how I rated speckled pills.

 

“Sleeping weird”, I said,

speaking truth to beauty.

“Sleeping weird.”

I felt it was my duty.

“Sleeping weird.”

Joint pain was ensuing.

“Sleeping weird.”

Because, that’s what I’d been doing.