An Awkward Situation

The Chant Royal is a poetic form that is a
variation of the ballad form and consists of
five eleven-line stanzas with a rhyme scheme
a-b-a-b-c-c-d-d-e-d-E and a five-line envoi
rhyming d-d-e-d-E or a seven-line envoi
c-c-d-d-e-d-E. To add to the complexity,
no rhyming word is used twice.

                     ***

I thought that she was spoiling for a fight
when hurling insults she slapped my face.
That blow had the strength of dynamite
and immediately I knew I was in disgrace.
I wondered why she was in such a state;
perhaps it was because I came home late.
I tried to explain but it wasn’t any use,
she was quite determined to blow a fuse
and was adamant I was having an affair.
There was no way she’d accept my excuse.
Did I ever tell you that life is so unfair?

Trying hard to make her forget the slight
I wanted to grasp her in a warm embrace
and have vigorous sex throughout the night
but she had already packed a big suitcase
as it was her firm intention to emigrate.
I begged her to stay and asked her to wait
so that we could calmly talk and call a truce
yet what I received in return was only abuse.
My aim all this time was to clear the air
but she was at best purblind or else obtuse.
Did I ever tell you that life is so unfair?

I did not want my girlfriend to lose sight
of the fact that a  total breakup would erase
all our cherished memories, out of spite,
and of our relationship there’d be no trace.
I had never seen my beloved so  irate
since I nearly stood her up on the first date.
If she left me I’d have to live like a recluse
or, alternatively , embark on a luxury cruise
where on the upper deck I’d  lounge in a chair
with nothing to do but largely snooze.
Did I ever tell you that life is so unfair?

I feared that her repressed anger  might 
force her into demanding a breathing space
and in so doing she’d feel within her right
although that  attitude would debase
the long standing  friendship with her mate
who’d much prefer a discussion more sedate
than her ramblings that  were very profuse.
Her fallacious arguments were too abstruse
but she delivered them with a great flair.
I’d been unjustly accused but I stayed  loose
Did I ever tell you that life is so unfair?

There is nothing I can do now: she took flight;
I am too upset and don’t want to  give chase.
She deserted me, regardless of my plight,
displaying bad manners and lack of grace.
To be quite honest I am not feeling great
and to other women I cannot  yet relate;
perhaps it is due to indulging in booze
- ideally I should stick to pure orange juice -
I have erotic dreams about a Swedish au-pair
the first woman in a line that I’d like to seduce.
Did I ever tell you that life is so unfair?

I’m slowly recovering from the initial bruise
and new emotions are replacing the blues;
the sexual urges are more than I can bear,
perversely my ex is the one I would choose.
Did I ever tell you that life is so unfair?

© Luigi Pagano 2015