Not Tonight, Josephine

Cherry

By luigi_pagano

Tue, 18 Sep 2018
  • 1875 reads
7 comments
 

One may have thought that it was Josephine
who had resorted to the ‘headache’ excuse
but it was Bonaparte, on the eve of a battle,
who felt it incumbent on him to refuse.

“Not tonight, Josephine”, was what he said,
I have got a skirmish with that English chap
tomorrow morning at the onset of dawn
and it’s important that I consult a war map.

She suspected that what was on his mind
was neither Wellington nor a battle chart
but thoughts of a tryst with Marie Louise,
Duchess of Parma (but with certainty a tart).

“This warmongering caper does my head in”,
she complained, “and you may well scoff.
Don’t be surprised if I find other partners
who would never dream of fobbing me off.”

© Luigi Pagano

Certificate PG
Poem
Are you being versed?
Historical Fiction
Humour

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I really like this one Luigi - I think it needs to be a PG though - could you change it please?

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

No sooner said than done, Claudine.

Cheers, Luigi x

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I had no idea that was where the phrase came from Luigi. You've taught me something new here in this great poem.

Jenny. xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hi Jenny, 'fake news' is not a new phenomenon, so there is some doubt about the veracity of this assertion.
The origins of the phrase ‘Not tonight, Josephine’ are unknown but some historians believe it was a smear concocted by his enemies to cast doubt on his manhood. In reality it looks as if it was the other way round and it was Josephine, who was six years older than him – and had more experienced lovers - who spurned him.

Luigi xx

 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Thanks for explaining Luigi.

Jenny. xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

You are welcome, Jenny.
I find history intringuing and fascinating and tend to squirrel anecdotes I come across. They are also a useful source of inspiration for poems and stories.

Best, Luigi xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Mille grazie, signorina Rosa or should I say diolch yn fawr?
I am fluent in Italian but can't say the same for the Welsh language. Even though I used to belong to a writers' group in Shotton all I ever learnt was 'Nos da'.

Luigi x