Birthday Blues

Birthday Blues

As my eyes stared at me with a glazed look I spotted what I had been
afraid of. Yes, I had spotted something that we all dread to see and
especially today of all days..............but I knew that this day
would have to happen eventually, I just didn't think it would be so
soon. If I stared long enough to the side of my right eye, there was
definitely the start of my first..........WRINKLE! My head fell
forwards onto the bathroom mirror where I rested for a moment to ponder
the start of this crinkly line mapping the beginning of its journey
around my face, when all of a sudden I was interrupted by:

"Happy Birthday to you" etc. (I wont continue with the song as I'm sure
you are all familiar with it....me, personally have now heard it being
sung to me for twenty five years, yes that's right 25
years..........and it doesn't change each year - same old 26 words,
repeating each sentence again and again and again!).

Now I may sound like a bit of a moan.........but honestly, there is
definitely nothing to be happy about turning 25.....you know that
figure.......a quarter of a century............half way to 50! Aha,
doesn't seem like something to be happy about now when you look at it
in that perspective, does it?

Ok, so if I was going to be turning 25, might as well start off doing
it in style - a day in bed is a necessity one thinks. First stop-
develop severe sore throat - brush up on perfecting that cough (had it
almost down to a tee the last time what with that lumpy phlegm making
an un-prepared for appearance), and stick two pieces of cotton wool up
nose for the bunged-up sound effects.

"I just don't feel up to it today, didn't sleep well last night. Yes I
know, it's terrible being ill on my birthday. Yes, I should be feeling
a little bit better in a few days."

Ok, that's me off work for the day, now to proceed with hibernating
under the duvet for the rest of the day.

Drrrriiiiiiiinnnnggggg Driiiinnnggg - the phone, on the other hand had
other ideas. After the 26th ring, felt I should put the caller on the
other end out of their curiosity and stop the ringing. As I picked up
the receiver........."Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear..." .

"Thanks Granny" I quickly intercepted. My mum and little sis had
already decided to wake me up at 6.45am to sing a harmonised version of
that grating on my nerves popular tune, and I think I did a good job of
keeping hush throughout the whole verse.

Once I had given a detailed description of each item I received on my
birthday right down to the last detail about the size, colour and an
explanation of what a thong actually is and why a girl of my age just
didn't feel comfortable in a pair of Marks and Sparks high legged,
floral patterned briefs, Granny was satisfied that she'd reminded me
what day it was and left me to crawl back under the duvet and sleep the
day away.

"Wakey Wakey, sleepy head". The duvet was now hurling its way through
the air, landing softly in a heap at my feet.......pneumonia was
creeping upon me.....at this rate the reasonable white lie about the
cold will soon mature into reality! As I prised my eyes open, being
careful not to over do the blinking on the right eye to encourage the
wrinkle to speed up its journey, I was met with a gleeful expression
from my best friend. As I began to focus I could see his lips forming
into an H.....which would progress into a H.A.P.P............NO! I
jumped up and threw my hand to his mouth "Don't sing it, please, just
don't sing it, a smile will do".

"Ok" he replied. "Your mum let me in as she was leaving for work, and I
was just going to tell you that H....."

There it goes again, the lips pursed to form the beginning of that
song, reminding me that there are not many years left, the old bits
will start to face South, the teeth will soon need replaced with
imitations, the hearing deteriorating to hearing muffled mumbling and
the wrinkles, well I'd already got a head start in that department,
nope I had to stop him from singing that song, so I clasped my hand
firmly over his mouth.

"werjwpiuhghwepw" he mumbled

"What?" I asked.

"werjwpiuhghwepw" he mumbled again...............I realised I must
remove my hand if this conversation was to stand a chance.

"I was trying to say to you...........Haaaaaa"

'oh oh, here he goes'

"Have you got anything planned for today....a few of us are going
go-karting....do you want to come too?"

Yeehaa he didn't do it......suddenly developed an overwhelming urge to
hug him tightly but the emotional surprise from not hearing that song
again produced a surprisingly uncontrollable
response...................tears!

I suddenly found myself sobbing uncontrollable whilst draped around my
friend.

"Hush, its ok" he sympathised.

"You should be happy" he continued

'he is so understanding...boo hoo boo hoo' I continued to cry with him
plying me with sympathy emphasised the tears and the dramatic scene
escalated almost to high pitched wailing (well, I admit I was loving
the attention, and was trying to draw out the hugging).

"You should be happy" he continued again "After all, it's your
birthday, oh I amost forgot...Happy Birthday to you"
BOO HOO BOO HOO
"Happy Birthday to you" he proceeded singing the second line.
BOO HOO BOO HOO
"Happy Birthday Dear Lynn"
Boo hoo boo hoo (men just do not take a hint...do they?)
"Happy Birthday to you!"

Once I had collected myself together we jumped into the car with
another couple of male friends and headed to Perth for a go at
Go-Karting. Avoided the Happy Birthday wishes to me from my other 2
friends by rambling about the scenery, what I ate for breakfast,
anything to distract them from what day it was.......so far it was
working, until we reached our destination.

"Ok, we will give the birthday girl a chance, you can go in the first
Kart and we will give you a 30 second head start"

Could I be anymore humiliated! My friends felt that as I was half way
to 50 years of age, that I needed special treatment. Well enough was
enough!

"No thank you!" I retorted. "No need in giving me any head starts
mister, lets just park our behinds in the seat and burn some rubber"
sounded pretty sure of myself didn't I? I guess turning 25 was
beginning to give me a new found confidence, but that still doesn't
mean that I was happy about it.

3....2....1 and we're off, I gave it all I could.......but as my speed
picked up, I approached a corner which I felt needed some break action,
and once I had replaced my foot on the accelerator another corner
approached, break action again...and soon a pattern developed. As I was
concentrating so hard on not crashing, I hadn't noticed all 3 male
friends over taking my kart, by over lapping me.....twice! Driving Miss
Daisy I had become!

Crash, Bang, Ouch - my friends decided to keep knocking me out of the
way just to pass me, this was turning into a rough sport......a rough
sport that a 25 year old just didn't have the get up and go anymore to
complete. Was I admitting defeat? Had turning 25 turned me into a great
big sissy? Was the weight of the wrinkle beside my right eye affecting
my vision to keep up a good pace on the race track? I don't think so!
Turning 25 had nothing to do with it....I demanded a rematch!

As I stepped into the Kart the second time, I had a sheer determination
about me. It also helped that the young guy assisting us with our
helmets and giving us the go-ahead to start the race, put me in a kart
and whispered "We want you to win, so we've put you in the fastest
Kart.....a tip - don't keep hitting the break when you turn the corner,
simply release your foot slightly from the accelerator and continue
around the corner"

Yipee, inside information AND a faster Kart....nothing was going to
stop me now!

One lap, I was in the lead, lap 2, and I was still leading and finally
the last lap and the 3 boys were nowhere in sight - I would never have
been able to do that unless I was 25........turning 25 had given me the
wisdom and experience and confidence to believe in myself.....I guess
turning 25 wasn't so life threatening after all!

What I hadn't noticed, as I was concentrating so hard, was that the
boys decided to let me do the race on my own! Whilst I was
concentrating so hard on getting around the race track at top speed,
they took great joy in sitting in the starting position watching me
zoom around lap 1, lap 2, lap 3 and finish! Afterwards as we met in the
caf? outside the Go Karting, I decided that yes, ha ha ha, it was very
funny playing that little 'stunt' on me and as I was 25 years of age
now I could accept it in the grace and maturity it deserved.

As we turned to leave the caf?, the 3 boys stood up, 1 behind the
other, and I stopped in my tracks, turned around....whack no.1, whack
no.2 and finally a whack to no.3! Well, I was a female who had just
turned 25 and in a result it was my birthday so I was allowed to do
what I wanted! Needless to say, at my surprise birthday party later on
that night, the 3 boys each attended with slightly swollen, red marked
faces and responded, as instructed, to each question "Who won at the
Go-Karting" with a quick response "The Birthday Girl won each
time!"

Turning 25 had it's advantages after all.... I suppose!

The End