Burglar in the Night

The radio alarm woke Matty up in the morning.  The announcer was reading the news.
"People have disappeared during extraordinary events overnight.  Nearly all of Britain's
motorways are blocked by accidents.  Millions of people are missing.  Aeroplanes have
crashed.  United Airlines in America have reported 12 aircraft lost.  British Airways reported
6 missing aircraft.  Air France said that none of its aircraft were lost and that all services
today would operate as normal.  The government's Minister of Equality gave this explanation."
"The Americans have a machine which is like a teleport.  People who have homophobic
views about gay marriage or narrow minded views about other religions have been taken to
camps in the desert where they will be re-educated."  Matty ran into the bathroom and looked
in the children's bedrooms.
"Gary?  Malinda?  Sarah?"  She saw her husband Gary's electric razor dancing around in the
sink and still turned on.  "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh!"

(Song - The Only Way Is Up by Yazoo to be shown with the film cast and titles.
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, won't be long, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, won't be long, hold on, hold on.
The only way is up, Baby, for you and me now.
The only way is up, Baby, for you and me now.
The only way is up.")

In the bedroom the radio announcer continued.  "We're speaking to the Bishop of London.
What were you saying about the universe having a rupture?"
"I didn't say rupture, I said rapture."
"What's a rapture?"
"These events were prophesied in the Bible.  Jesus comes to take all the Christians out of
the world and they disappear in the twinkling of an eye."
"If Jesus took the Christians out of the world why weren't you taken with them?"
"I'm only a theologian.  I study these things but I don't teach them.  We wanted the church to
be inclusive of other religions.  Until this morning I thought that all religions were the same."
Matty picked up the telephone to call her father.
"Hello.  Dad?  Gary's disappeared."
"I'm still here.  You're mother's still here.  We've never been religious.  We're fine."
"He's got the car keys in his pocket.  How am I going to get to you?  I would like to be with
my family at this time.  The children have disappeared as well."
"You need to catch the number 88 bus.  It stops outside the hospital just around the corner."

Matty caught the bus and arrived at her parents' house.  They were watching the news on
a big old fashioned television.
"Extraordinary events have occured overnight.  In the studio some of our staff have
disappeared.  We have no computer technician and only one camera man.  Most of our staff
have lost family members and friends.  The Home Secretary is about to make an
announcement."  A middle aged woman in a suit appeared on the screen.
"All the governments of the world have joined together to form a new organisation to combat
the emergency - the Military International Totallitarian Territorial Emergency Network System.
Mittens.  Everyone must become a member of this organisation.  Anyone who doesn't
will be considered disloyal.  They will be shown no mercy."  The scene went back to the
announcer in the studio.
"Now we go over to the temple in Israel where something else extraordinary is happening.
Our reporter John Davis is there.  John, what is happening?"
"Hello Simon.  Somebody very important has appeared in the temple.  Rabbi Zechariah,
who do you think this person is?"
"He is the next prophet of the muslims.  He is the Messiah of the Jews.  He is the next great
teacher of the Hindus.  He is the next Buddha of the Buddhists.  He is the Christ of the
Christians."  The reporter spoke again.
"Now I think in the temple the prophet himself is about to speak."  The scene went over to the
prophet standing in the temple.  It was a huge building full of people who were very excited.
He was an Arab man in middle eastern ceremonial religious clothes.  He stood on a platform
behind a microphone.
"I am the Messiah.  I come to bring peace to the world.  Anyone who doesn't believe in me
must die."  Matty's mother turned to look at her.
"Matty Love, what's the matter?  You look terrified."
"Look Mum, I'm the central character in a Left Behind film.  I'm going to die a horrible martyr's
death.  Before I die it, I'm meant to turn to my friend and say, 'I should have become a
Christian in that meeting, years ago, when we heard the evangelist, and then it would have
been so easy.  I wouldn't have had to face death like I'm doing now.'  Forget about all the
parts of the world where Christians get martyred all the time.  I hope this film is never shown
on Libyan television."

Matty set off to the supermarket with her father in the car.  They were stuck in a traffic jam for
an hour.  When they got there the supermarket was completely empty.  The manager was
standing there in his suit surrounded by an angry crowd.  He tried to calm them.
"We have nothing left.  Come back tomorrow.  There'll have been another delivery by then.
They told you not to panic buy.  It was on the news."
"Well, we didn't panic buy," said a woman in the crowd.  "Look what has happened to us.
If you're the only one who doesn't panic buy you get nothing."  Matty and her father came
back to the shop the next day.  It was full of food but everything was a hundred times more
expensive.  She picked up a tin of beans.
"£35 for a tin of beans.  And they're own brand, they're not even Heinz."  They went over to
the bread.
"£85 for a loaf of bread," her father said.  "That's a day's wages to most people."  Matty and
her father returned home with some food and watched the news.  A supermarket manager
was explaining himself to a reporter.
"We had no choice but to increase the prices.  People are cashing in their pensions and life
savings and spending all the money on food."
"What a good idea," said Matty's father.  "I'll phone the pension company this afternoon.
Who knows how much food will cost next week?"

A few days later Matty and her parents were watching the news on the television.  The middle
aged woman with the suit appeared on the screen to give her instructions.
"Following the collapse of all the world's major currencies it has been decided that all the
citizens of the world should have a chip and pin credit card tattooed on the back of their
hand.  This will enable our organisation to make sure that food and essential supplies are
distributed fairly."  Matty and her parents stood in the queue outside the medical centre.  A
woman came up and spoke to them.
"My husband has changed since he had the credit card tattooed on the back of his hand.  If
he hears me humming a tune, he tells me the government doesn't allow music.  I tell a joke.
He tells me the government doesn't allow laughter.  I'll tell you something even stranger.  He
doesn't lose his temper any more.  I tell you, my husband is being controlled.  Don't let them
give you that chip."
"If we don't let them give us the chip we won't get any food," said Matty.  "What'll we do then?"
"There are a few of us who have found another way."
"Nonsense," said Matty's father.  "I've already got a chip like that in my wallet, why can't I have
one on my hand?  What's the difference?"  The woman looked indignant.
"The difference is that your mind will be controlled by the government and you will have sold
your soul to the devil."
"So vote Liberal Democrat," said Matty's mother, laughing.
"You said you found another way.  How?" asked Matty.
"Come with me."

The woman led Matty to a quiet place away from the queue.
"My name's Jean," she said.
"I'm Matty."
"A few of us live together on a farm," she said.  "Would you like to come with us?"
"I would."  The woman walked with Matty to the farm.  It took two hours.  Matty saw a familiar
face.  It was her old vicar.
"Hello Reverend," Matty said, in a puzzled tone of voice.
"Hello Matty.  I am Reverend Turner, so called because I turned people away from God."
"Why didn't tell me about this?"
"Matty, do you have a Bible?"
"Yes I do but I didn't get it from you.  You gave me an English translation of the Quran.  You
said, 'On Friday we'll go to the mosque, on Saturday we'll go to the synagogue, on Sunday
the Jews are coming to our church and on Sunday evening we'll have tea with the Hare
Krishnas."
"Oh no Matty, how many people have been left behind because I was a woolly liberal?  I
thought all religions were the same.  We are people of the book, we all follow the same
commandments, we all worship God in our own way.  But religion won't save you Matty.
Religion won't save you from sin.  You need Jesus to save you from sin.  I didn't tell you
that.  Yes Matty, I am to blame for you being left behind."
"Do you grow your own food here?"
"Yes but not all of it.  The van runs on biodiesel which we make ourselves.  We drive it down
to the supermarket at night and steal food from the bins."  That night Matty got into the van
and prepared to take it down to the supermarket.
"I'll come with you," said Jean.
"No.  I know the way to the supermarket.  I don't want two of us to get caught."  Matty was
pulling food out of the bins in the supermarket and loading it into the van.  The bin lorry
came.  She hid inside the bin she had just emptied.  The driver wheeled it on to the
platform at the back of the lorry and the platform lifted up and tilted the bin back.  Matty fell
out into a lorry piled high with stinking rubbish.
"What are you doing in there?" asked the driver.
"She's one of the disciples," said his assistant.  "They steal food from the bins.  That's how
they survive."
"You don't have a credit card tattooed on the back of your hand," said the driver.  "You
should belong to Mittens."  The bin man's assistant looked Matty straight in the eye.
"You will be shown no mercy."  Matty ran and hid behind the bins.  The two bin men tipped
the bins forward one at a time looking for her.  There were so many bins.  Then they heard
the sound of Matty driving away in her van.  They jumped in the bin lorry and set off in hot
pursuit.  The assistant called the police on his mobile phone.  A helicopter soon appeared
overhead and Matty found herself in between the bin lorry and a van with the word Mittens
written on the side.  The Mittens van stopped.  Two men from the van got out and
approached Matty's vehicle.  They opened the door and dragged her out.  

Matty was taken to the police station and put in a cell.  A police woman spoke to her through
the bars.
"Well, well, why don't you want a credit card tattooed on the back of your hand?"
"I'd be selling my soul to the devil and I would go to Hell."
"Soul?  Devil?  Hell?  Do you believe in Santa Claus?"
"Santa Claus didn't rise from the dead.  Santa Claus didn't have the calendar in three quarters
of the world based on the time he lived."
"Tell me about your way of life.  How do you feed yourselves?"
"You've captured the van.  You know already."
"I haven't seen your van Matty.  Tell me about it."
"Oh, I'll just sell my soul to the devil and betray a few friends, shall I?"
"Oh Matty, your friends would never betray you, would they?  Meet the Reverend Turner."  
The Reverend Turner appeared.  He had the credit card tattooed on the back of his hand.
"Matty, when I was in Africa the Christians didn't see any contradiction between going to Black
Mass on a Friday night and coming to church on a Sunday morning.  A devil worshipper can
be a Christian, Matty.  We all ascribe to the same moral ideals even if we worship Satan."
"You're just a door mat Reverend.  You bowed down to the authority of that liberal Bishop.
Now you're bowing down to what these people are telling you.  You don't know what you
believe."
"It doesn't mean I'm a bad person."
"Oh no, just tell them about the people on the farm and they'll all be killed.  You're still a
moral person."
"What farm is this Matty?" asked the police woman.  "Do you live on a farm?"
"If you have the van why don't you trace the number plate?" asked Matty.
"Do you really think I informed the insurance company of my change of address?" asked the
Reverend Turner.
"What change of address was this, Reverend?" asked the police woman.

Matty was led from the cell to a quiet room in the police station.
"We just want to put the chip and pin credit card on the back of your hand," said the police
woman.  The police surgeon sat next to the police woman with the pieces of equipment on
his desk.  
"Come on Matty," he said, "why not?"
"Because I'll go to a horrible place when I die and I'll burn forever in agony."
"Do you believe in a God who would make you suffer like that just because I did this
when your life depended on it?" asked the police surgeon.  Matty ran from the police station.
She saw the Mittens van doing it's regular patrol of rounding up non members.  She hid from
it.  Matty began to wonder what to do.  How to get back to the farm without getting caught?  It
was now dark.  Her mobile phone rang.  It was her father.
"Matty, all along you were right.  Your mother and I want to be disciples."
"You've had the credit card tattooed on you.  I left you standing in the queue."
"No.  We escaped.  We were in the queue for hours.  Other people came up to us and told
us similar stories to the one you heard.  We want to go to the farm.  Tell us where it is."
"Don't go to the farm.  The police know the disciples live on a farm somewhere.  They'll
search all the farms."
"All right.  Not the farm.  Do you remember that church in America who live a travellers'
lifestyle?"
"Yes Dad, I told you about it."
"We've been in touch with them.  We could go there.  We'll meet you at the pier.  We'll take a
small boat and sail to America."
"Fine Dad.  I'll be there."

Matty arrived at the pier to find it blocked by police cars and uniformed officers.  She jumped
from the pier into the sea and swam for it.  A motorboat set out after her.  A policeman stood
on the motorboat and shouted through a loud haler,
"Matty, will you take the chip and pin credit card on the back of your hand?"
"No, no, never!"
"Then I'll chop you to pieces with the propellor of my motorboat."
"No, no, aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh!  Don't do it!  aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh!"

(Turn the camera away from Matty so she disappears from shot and empty a 5 kg catering tub
of dried tomato soup into the sea from the pier so that it looks like the sea is full of Matty's blood.  How else do you do special effects on a movie with a budget of £10,000?)