Secret Army 4 - Clare and Matty in Prison

Evangelism was technically illegal.  Malcolm still had a passion for doing it.  He would put on his old Jesus Army jacket over his waterproof coat so that people could see he was a Christian. It helped drivers to see him when he was on his mobility scooter.  Off he drove in his new waterproof Land Rover scooter that was capable of driving underwater (or at least crossing a river) and had a lithium battery so it had an extended range of 400 miles in the cycle lane of a motorway.  But no, he was not visiting his sister in County Durham today.  He would simply drive down to the city centre in his army greens and see what happened.
"Interesting to see someone who believes in Jesus," said a man outside Marks & Spencers.
"Are you a Christian?"
"I certainly am."
"Do you know Jesus in a personal way?"
"Yes I do."
"Are you born again?"
"Yes indeed."
"Great to meet you brother.  I was just checking that you understood the gospel.  Wouldn't want you to go to Hell for being a church goer and thinking you were a Christian when you weren't."
"Bless you old man.  What's your name?"
"Malcolm."  A woman came up to Malcolm near the cathedral.
"I don't like the name Jesus Army," she said.  "Armies drop bombs and kill people."
"It's the army of the Lord.  The Bible talks about spiritual warfare.  If you were planting a church on a rough council estate you would certainly feel as if you were fighting a war."
"Oh would you?  Well I don't want to plant a church on a rough council estate.  I want to pray in the nice cathedral.  I'm Church of England and I don't feel as if I'm fighting a war.  My religion is a source of great comfort to me."
"Comfortable religion," said Malcolm.  "Not fighting the spiritual battle.  A comfortable cathedral.  Not the army of the Lord."
"Certainly not."
"It's funny how some people can be so comfortable in their dead religion that they are angry if they see Christians who are alive."  The woman looked shocked.
"I should think they do," she said and walked away.  

At the NHS drop in there was a long queue of people waiting outside.  One man was on crutches.  He spoke to Malcolm as Malcolm was wearing his Jesus Army jacket and therefore represented someone in authority.
"I've got a post operative infection in my foot.  Antibiotics don't work anymore.  I've been standing here since half past eight this morning.  Where's God in all this?"
"It's the government who made a mess of the health service, you can't blame God," said Malcolm.
"I know it is but why doesn't God do something about it?"
"I blame the immigrants," said a young woman.  "They come from the Islamic State across the sea and then they claim asylum in the first country they land in which is Italy.  But the Italians let them because the Italians know they won't stay for very long.  Once they've been granted asylum in Italy they're European citizens.  They can go anywhere they like in Europe and they all want to go to Germany, Sweden or the UK.  We've had a million of them in the last month."
"I don't see any Africans in this queue," said Malcolm.  "They all have white faces."
"They've had lazer surgery," said the woman.
"You can't blame immigrants for everything," said Malcolm.  "What we really need in this country is a centre left socialist government slightly to the left of Tony Blair."
"Tony who?" asked the man on crutches.  "Maybe there's a political explanation for all this but I want to know why God doesn't do something about it.  I'm not being funny.   I believe in God."
"Should I heal your foot?" asked Malcolm.
"Yes," said the man.  Leaning on his crutches he put the injured foot beside Malcolm on the seat of his scooter.
"In Jesus name I command this foot to be healed," said Malcolm.
"That feels great.  That feels wonderful.  Wow.  Does anybody need this pair of rutches?"
"Oh crikey, I need them," said an old lady.  "It takes ages to get them on the NHS."  The man gave her the crutches.

Matty had been arrested again.  The female police sergeant sat with Matty in the police station.  The sergeant put her mobile phone on her desk and looked at it.
"Please sign my petition," the sergeant read.  "My friend Clare is being held in police custody and facing a five year prison sentence.  Her only crime is telling the world to believe that Jesus is the only way, all other religions are wrong and that anyone who doesn't believe in him will go to Hell." The sergeant looked horrified.  "Do you believe this?"
"Yes," said Matty.
"Christians are the only people going to Heaven, are they Matty?  What about the muslims?  What about the jews?  What about atheists who are nice to eachother? Why do Christians have a monopoly on Heaven and salvation?"
"Because Jesus died for their sins."
"What sins are those Matty?  Sins like being a homosexual?"
"It's not a sin to be a homosexual."
"No, if I'm a lesbian I just have to remain lonely and single for the rest of my life.  Well, I don't believe in a God who sends people to Hell for doing things like that.  You have broken the terms of your injunction.  Clare has been taken to Doncaster remand centre and that's where you're going." Matty was handcuffed and led into a police car.  She arrived at Doncaster jail.  The car drove around the  grounds to a grey concrete building marked with a capital F.
"This is the female part of the prison," said the policeman to whom Matty was still handcuffed.  "The F wing."  The car stopped.  The policeman led her out into the building.  They entered a long corridor and behind them a huge iron door slammed.  "You're in luck Matty," he said.  "I think you're friend still has a spare bunk bed."  A prison officer came with them to unlock the door to Clare's cell.  Clare looked at Matty with a shocked and surprised expression on her face.
"I started an on line petition to get you out of jail," said Matty.
"Did you?  Why would they arrest you for starting a petition?"
"I said that you're only crime was teaching that Jesus was the only way and that anyone who didn't believe in him would go to Hell."
"You wanted to go to prison for saying something that was true.  I think you've achieved that."
"How long will we have to wait to go to trial?" asked Matty.
"I don't know.  A year maybe.  We won't stay in the UK when we're sentenced.  This is only the remand centre.  We'll be taken to the new prison in Uganda."
"Why would they take us to a prison in Uganda?"
"The currency of Uganda has collapsed.  An egg costs a million dollars.  They can pay people in Uganda £1 a week and they're like millionaires.  I understand that hiring a Boeing 797 from British Airways to take the prisoners to Uganda costs more than the prison cost to build."