Twentieth Century Faust

Strange that I find myself once more in this place, in this dark
room, sitting at this desk. Strange that I should be back here after
all this time, as though there were no time, and all that has happened
is forgotten like a fading dream or a nightmare that has dissipated
with the dawn.

The walls have turned yellow with age, time and smoke has changed this
room, closing up it's comfortable tomb to shut out the world forever.
The desk is old and dark, blackened by memories of pain and torment,
worn with a thousand haunted words written by a thousand trembling
hands. As I once wrote at this desk so I do now. As I once wept in this
chair, hiding from the terror that scratched at the windows, that
whispered in the shadows and crept through the darkness of my soul, so
I do now. This is the way it has always been, I should have known that
nothing could change. I should have known.

I should have known, but I always forget. When spring time comes and
winter leaves taking with it the worst of my suffering. I forget what I
am, what I have become and wander freely amongst the myriad of empty
people that inhabit the world beyond my windows. It was such a time
last year that I left my cloistered room and visited with those that I
call friends, amongst those empty walking dead that sing and laugh to
block out the screaming of the world, to shout down the daily dose of
death and horror that they so eagerly feed on. I sang and laughed along
with them, intoxicated by the thousand lies that everyone whispered, I
sang and laughed and played games with the devil.

I played his terrible game, I played and lost. He knew my weakness, he
has always known and he used it to draw out the last of my strength.
When Faust sold his soul he signed his name in his own blood, I was
spared that indignation. When I sold my soul it did it like Judas, with
a single treacherous kiss.

The day was dominated by an air of depression, grey clouds occupied a
grey sky that looked down on a grey and dismal world. There was little
life in the day's celebrations and each event passed without comment by
the silent crowds. It was as though the people breathed with one
breath, thought with one mind and wept with one tear. They murmured and
muttered as though remembering the dead not yet buried and the fallen
that still walked. The town was in perpetual mourning for a disaster
yet to come.

On the hill stood the castle, overlooking and dominating the
surrounding countryside. It's dark walls were carved into the cliff,
it's highest tower rising a further fifty feet above the black waters
of the lake below. Stories told of many a suicides plunge into that icy
tomb and no one fished, swam or even drank it's waters. While the town
mourned the castle rejoiced, as I approached every window was lit with
dancing candles and a hundred voices were raised in song and laughter.
As I climbed the great stair and approached the gates I noticed wine
flowing down the steps and the remnants of a great feast. Without
hesitation I followed my invitation and entered, without thought I
stepped through the door into the party, without care I ate and drank
and joined with those that seemed so happy, without warning I walked
into the fire.

The Devil has visited me in many forms but none so beguiling as the
gentle child I met that night. A woman with a coy demeanor, shining
eyes and a perfect lip. It was long after midnight before she started
to whisper that sirens song that pulled me down. While the party melted
and swayed she murmured treason into my grateful ear and drew danger
from my mouth.

Amidst a haze of intoxication she led me to a forgotten room. While the
party laughed and sang we sheltered in the warm darkness. With each
breath she opened my veins, with each touch she sapped my strength,
until I was no more and she took my soul with a kiss.

I was the Devils slave for most of the following year, and although my
tasks are now few, the chains still bind me. The seasons have come and
gone since that night, the ground has frozen and thawed and is now
frozen again. And each night as the darkness comes I am reminded of my
broken soul and her kiss.