Twenty reasons not to go there

Twenty reasons not to go there.

Stuart Farlow was getting nervous; something he had started, almost as
a joke, 6 months ago was about to backfire. He had posted a message on
a school re-union site about a 20-year reunion of his 6th form. To his
initial pleasure, plenty of people had expressed an interest, but as
the numbers grew he slowly came to the realisation that he would
actually have to meet people he hadn't seen since he was 18. Given his
lack of organisational abilities schooled by 20 years of working in the
civil service, he had been more than happy to hand over the party
planning to Mary Miles who, not coincidentally, had been head girl in
the 6th form and relished the task of recreating their 6th form
ball.

Now the day was almost with him, the day he dreaded, when 20 years of
non-history would have to be relayed to over achievers. He already knew
that 3 millionaires were turning up, 2 published authors, 4 professors,
5 Doctors, and 6 city lawyers. There were 20 people he didn't want to
explain that he worked as a senior benefits assessor at the DSS in
Croydon. He wandered if he could possibly not go to the reunion. He
started to draw up a pro and con list, and decided that if he could
think of 20 reasons not to go, that would be enough to switch of his
phone, disconnect his PC and never go near a reunion site ever
again.

He found a scrap of paper, and realised with disgust that all his paper
had been pilfered from his office and had the distinctive DSS logo on
it. He picked up a pen and started to chew it, a habit he'd picked up
from all his years in an office.

Reason 1

Susan would be there; he had fancied her rotten and made a complete
idiot of himself over her. He shuddered as he recalled the enormous
valentine card he had sent to her, anonymously of course. Then spoiled
the mystery by calling her seconds after the postman had delivered it.
He had stood at the end of her street from 7.30 in the morning waiting
for that event at a handily placed bus stop. His subterfuge was not
easily maintained, as only one bus went from that stop and he kept
having to wave on pissed off bus drivers who had stopped to pick up the
only person at the stop. She had been very sweet on the phone and let
him down gently; to him the fall had been much steeper. He had felt
eyes on him as he sadly wandered the corridors that day, was convinced
that everyone was laughing at him. She was now running her own Software
Company in California had "3 gorgeous kids, a lovely husband 2 mad
dogs, a cat and a house close to the ocean"

Reason 2

Katrina would be there, he had not been the best of boyfriends to her,
had let his obsession with Susan get in the way. He suddenly had this
thought that the two of them had since become great friends and he
would have to deal with both of them at this horrendous shingdig. He
had no idea what she had done since, and didn't care either.

Reasons 3-18

The first 15 rugby team, he had not liked rugby, had not played it, and
had hated the way the first 15 lorded it around the school. They had
elaborate greeting rituals, which involved a lot of hand slapping,
grunting and jumping about. He had often run into them in Town on a
Saturday night when they went out en-mass with about 20 various
hangers-on. They would usually greet him with a headlock and several
hits on his head, they were called nobbies, those hits on the head,
delivered with the middle knuckle. They had also wedged him and hung
him on a hook in the cloakroom on his 17th Birthday. From reading their
biogs, he was convinced that they were all accomplished liars.

Reason 19

Billy Baldock. He had bullied Stuart from the age of 11-14, the usual
bullying repertoire, nicking his dinner money, throwing his bag off the
school bus, calling him names and encouraging others to recite those
names at regular intervals, and beating him up 4 times. Strangely all
of this happened when they were at school, he had weekends off
bullying. He would hang out with Billy, go shoplifting, play football,
follow girls around town, play table tennis, and pitch and putt. But
come 8.00am on Monday morning when they boarded the school bus, it all
started again. Ironically enough, Billy was now a bus driver, and had
probably witnessed generations of Billy-like kids doing the same thing
as he had.... maybe he had suffered enough.

Reason 20.

Stuart Farlow, what had he done in 20 years, he had moved DSS offices
seven times, he had moved to London, he had bought a house in a cheap
area and seen the value of the house balloon. Apart from that his life
had been characterised by an aversion to risk. He had never married,
maybe people would assume he was gay, but as he had not maintained or
even achieved a 6pack physique and dressed very badly, he doubted that
anyone would reach such a conclusion. How would he measure up to all
the stars of his time there, the "it" students of the 80s, would anyone
actually remember him. When he looked in the mirror he saw a man who
looked uncannily like his dad had 20 years before. He had this vision
that no one else had aged and he would turn up as a 38 year old bloke
to be greeted by an ocean of teenagers.

He had his 20 reasons not to go, but knew he just had to go, he'd worry
about what people would think about him. Even though he had not thought
of most of them for 20 years, now suddenly it was important what they
thought.

He spent hours deciding what to wear, he didn't want to dress too
young, but didn't want to look like an old fogy either. He wanted hip
but not trying too hard, he worried that everyone would be dressed
smart, but didn't want to be the only one in a suit. He settled on a
look that said "leftie Guardian reader with a conscience and a bit of
money" (a very hard look to achieve).

The reunion was being held at the school, Stuart entered the entrance
hall to be greeted by the smell of the polish, which transported
himself back years. He saw 2 unfamiliar faces on a desk handing out
name badges, then realised they were Katrina and Susan, who didn't
recognise him until he said his name. First hurdle over, he pushed open
the double doors and entered the assembly room....bring it on, he
thought....and waited for the first nobby