Take the Next Road on your Left (Teleplay) Part 3

SC1. TAINSTAL GENERAL HOSPITAL CAR PARK
[A LARGE FOUR BY FOUR VEHICLE PULLS INTO THE CAR PARK, CRUISES TOWARD THE REAR AND PARKS UP. AFTER A MOMENT THE DRIVERS WINDOW LOWERS SLOWLY. THE DRIVER IS HEAVILY BUILT AND BEHIND AND TO THE LEFT CAN BE SEEN THREE OTHER PASSENGERS, THE ONE IN THE PASSENGER SEAT BEING THE DRIVER OF THE GETAWAY CAR FROM THE BANK ROBBERY]
VILLAIN 1:
SHE’S IN THERE NOW
VILLAIN 2:
SHE’LL BE UNDER HEAVY GUARD
VILLAIN 1:
MAYBE.
DRIVER:
I SHOULDN’T BE HERE.
VILLAIN 1:
YOU’RE THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB
DRIVER:
GIVE ME MY CUT AND I’LL LEAVE…NOW. I’LL GO STRAIGHT TO GATWICK. ONE-WAY TICKET TO EUROPE OR THE STATES.
VILLAIN 3:
IF SHE’S MADE YOU, YOU WON’T BE GOING ANYWHERE
DRIVER:
THEN IT’S MADNESS TO BRING ME HERE
[VILLAIN 1 BELYING HIS LARGE FRAME MOVES SWIFTLY TO THE SIDE AND GRABS THE DRIVER BY THE THROAT]
VILLAIN 1:
I ROB BANKS. I DO A GOOD JOB ROBBING BANKS. I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO ROB A BANK. YOU ONLY HAD TO PUT ON YOUR MASK AND DRIVE.
VILLAIN 3:
OKAY, OKAY.
VILALAIN 1:
IS IT? I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIS GUARANTOR?
VILLAIN 2:
LET’S COOL IT, EH? HERE HE COMES
CUT TO:

SC2. MASTER SHOT OF CAR PARK
[A SLIGHT AVERAGE HEIGHT FIGURE IS WALKING TOWARD THEM]
CUT TO:

SC3. 4X4
[VILLAIN 1 IS HOLDING A LARGE ENVELOPE IN HIS HAND AND HANGS IT JUST BEYOND HIS DOOR. THE FIGURE ENTERS SHOT (WE DO NOT SEE HIS FACE) AND GOES TO TAKE THE ENVELOPE BUT VILLAIN 1 HOLDS FAST]
CONTRACT KILLER (A HIGH VOICE AND OUT OF SHOT):
WHAT’S THE GAME? I’M EXPOSED ENOUGH OUT HERE.
VILLAIN 1:
END IT.
CONTRACT KILLER:
IS IT ALL HERE?
VILLAIN 1:
YOU’RE EXPENSIVE
CONTRACT KILLER:
SO’S A STRETCH INSIDE
VILLAIN 1:
YEAH, IT’S ALL THERE
CONTRACT KILLER:
THEN IT’S DONE
[VILLAIN 1 RELEASES THE PACKET]
CUT TO:

SC4. DETECTIVE OFFICES TAINSTAL POLICE STATION
[THE DETECTIVES KENNEDY AND NIXON FROM THE SCENE OF THE ROBBERY ARE TALKING TO WINDSOR A ND TUDOR]
WINDSOR:
SO HE REALLY IS AN INSURANCE SALEMAN
KENNEDY:
WE NEVER SAID HE WASN’T
TUDOR:
YOU NEVER SAID HE WAS EITHER
NIXON:
HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD HIM IN THERE?
WINDSOR:
A COUPLE OF HOURS
NIXON:
FOR CHRIST’S SAKE
TUDOR:
WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL?
KENNEDY:
SHE WAS RUNNING AWAY. WE THINK SHE CAN IDENTIFY ONE OF THEM. THEY SHOT AT HER; SHE MORE THAN LIKELY RAN INTO HIM.
WINDSOR:
THAT’S WHAT HE’S BEEN SAYING
NIXON:
WHO DID YOU THINK HE WAS?
TUDOR:
THE GETAWAY DRIVER
WINDSOR (HIS VOICE TAILING OFF):
THAT’S WHY HE RAN HER OVER…WELL WE FIGURED THAT’S WHY
KENNEDY:
WHAT A PAIR OF PRATS. WHAT WAS THE GETAWAY CAR DOING PARKED 50 YARDS AWAY? THE VILLAINS GOT AWAY DIDN’T THEY? HOW DO YOU THINK THEY MANAGED THAT WITHOUT A CAR? MAYBE THEY’RE ECO-VILLAINS AND THEY RODE AWAY ON BICYCLES. YES WE MAY ROB BANKS BUT WE’RE KIND TO THE ENVIRONMENT.
(PAUSE)
WE ONLY WANTED TO KNOW IF HE SAW THE GETAWAY CAR AND COULD GIVE US A DESCRIPTION OF THE DRIVER
TUDOR:
WELL...
NIXON:
SHUT UP. WE’VE ANOTHER JOB FOR YOU TO DO.
WINDSOR:
AND MR LUCRE?
KENNEDY:
I’LL SEND IN SHIRLEY TO TAKE HIS STATEMENT
TUDOR:
WHAT’S THE JOB?
CUT TO:

SC5. INTERROGATION ROOM
[SHIRLEY ENTERS WITH ANOTHER COFFEE]
CHARLIE:
NO, NO MORE. I MAY NEED TO PEE AND I DOUBT IF THE LOCAL GARDA WILL EVER LET ME OUT OF HERE
SHIRLEY:
IF YOU WANT THE LOO, GO
CHARLIE:
WHAT – A BIG TIME GANGSTER LIKE ME? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO PIN ON ME?
SHIRLEY:
WE’RE NOT CHARGING YOU WITH ANYTHING
CHARLIE:
ARE YOU LOT FUCKING WITH ME, FIVE MINUTES AGO I WAS PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER 1? (PAUSES AND CALMS DOWN)
IS THE GIRL OKAY THEN?
SHIRLEY:
SHE’S AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL AND YES I BELIEVE SHE’S GOING TO BE OKAY THOUGH I HAVEN’T ANY DETAILS OF HER INJURIES.
CHARLIE:
THANK GOD
SHIRLEY:
YOU’RE A SALESMAN?
CHARLIE:
MAYBE NOT AFTER TODAY
SHIRLEY:
IS IT A NECESSARY ATTRIBUTE NOT TO HAVE A CONSCIOUS?
CHARLIE
LET ME GUESS – YOU’RE GRANNY GOT CONNED
SHIRLEY:
MY EX WAS AN INSURANCE SALESMAN
CHARLIE:
ANY GOOD? MOST OF THEM ARE SHIT
SHIRLEY:
HE WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL. WE HAD A LOVELY HOUSE; TWO EUROPEAN HOLIDAYS A YEAR AND I HAD MY OWN CAR.
CHARLIE:
WAS?
SHIRLEY:
HE DIED
CHARLIE:
SO YOU’RE A RICH WIDOW
SHIRLEY:
YOU KNOW HE ONCE TOLD ME THAT IN HIS CAREER HE HAD INSURED OVER 2000 LIVES. “TWO THOUSAND PEOPLE WHO ARE BETTER OFF DEAD THAN ALIVE!” HE’D BRAG. PROBLEM WAS THE IDIOT WAS ONE OF THEM. NEVER THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE DID HE? I DIDN’T RECEIVE A PENNY. I HAD TO BORROW THE MONEY FROM MY FATHER TO BURY HIM
CHARLIE (LOOKING FURTIVE):
I’M SORRY. HOW DID YOU COPE
SHIRLEY:
I JOINED THE POLICE FORCE
CHARLIE:
CHRIST THINGS WERE TOUGH WEREN’T THEY?
[HE LAUGHS]
SHIRLEY (SCOWLSAND COLLECTS A SHEET OF PAPER AND A PEN FROM THE DESK):
YOU FULL NAME PLEASE MISTER LUCRE
CHARLIE:
YOU HAVEN’T A SISTER HAVE YOU?
SHIRLEY:
TWO BROTHERS
CHARLIE:
YOU REMIND ME OF SOMEONE
SHIRLEY:
IF THIS IS AN INSULT…
CHARLIE:
OH NO, I WOULDN’T DARE. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. WHAT’S THE TIME?
SHIRLEY:
THREE O’CLOCK
CHARLIE:
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEWHERE, GIVING A SPEECH
SHIRLEY:
WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL THEM?
CHARLIE:
I DID. I TRIED THE HOTEL FOR TWENTY MINUTES BEFORE LAUREL AND HARDY RAN OUT OF PATIENCE AND DRAGGED ME IN HERE
SHIRLEY:
NOT MUCH OF A HI-TECH MOVER ARE YOU – NO MOBILE?
CHARLIE:
IT’S DEAD AND APPARENTLY NO ONE HAS A CHARGER FOR AN ERICCSON.
SHIRLEY:
WELL IF WE GET THIS OVER WITH QUICKLY YOU MIGHT STILL CATCH…
CHARLIE:
NOT A CHANCE – HARDMAN WILL KILL ME FOR THIS.
SHIRLEY:
YOUR BOSS?
CHARLIE:
HOW FAR IS THE BRANDON HOTEL?
SHIRLEY:
ABOUT A QUARTER OF A MILE; IT’S ON THE LARGE ROUNDABOUT IN THE CENTRE
CHARLIE (SMILES):
FUCKING ROUNDABOUTS
CUT TO:

SC6. MOTEL ROOM
[CHARLIE IS LYING NAKED IN THE BED AND VAL IS SITTING BESIDE HIM IN HER UNDERWEAR BUT WITH HER BACK TO HIM]
VAL:
CHARLIE, I NEED TO STOP
CHARLIE (LOOKING AWAY FROM HER TOWARD THE WINDOW):
WE HAVEN’T STARTED YET
VAL:
IT’S ROGER
CHARLIE:
HE’S SUSPICIOUS?
VAL:
NO
CHARLIE:
HE’S SAID NOTHING TO YOU?
VAL:
NO
CHARLIE:
WELL IF HE’S SAID…
VAL:
I’M AFRAID I MIGHT TELL HIM
CHARLIE:
CHRIST, WE’VE MET ONCE A WEEK FOR THREE MONTHS. IT’S HARDLY AN AFFAIR
VAL:
IT’S MY CATHOLICISM
CHARLIE (BREAKING INTO LAUGHTER):
YOU A CHURCH GOER?
VAL:
WE’RE ALL SINNERS CHARLIE, BUT IF I STOP NOW I CAN BE FORGIVEN
CHARLIE:
SO IT WASN’T LIFE ASSURANCE YOU WANTED AFTER ALL; IT WAS FAITH INSURANCE
VAL (STARTS TO GET DRESSED):
DON’T MOCK ME
CHARLIE:
WHO’S SACRIFICED WHAT HERE? YOU’RE A HOUSEWIFE, WELL MAYBE THAT’S A RATHER LOOSE DESCRIPTION; BUT YOU’RE FREE ALL DAY. I COULD BE EARNING INSTEAD OF COMING HERE. YOU’VE COST ME
VAL:
YOU GOT THE POLICY DIDN’T YOU?
CHARLIE:
OH YES, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. £30 A MONTH - WHOLE LIFE ASSURANCE; THAT’LL KEEP ME IN MARS BARS FOR LIFE
VAL:
I’M GOING
CHARLIE:
JUST WHO APPROACHED WHO HERE? YOU SOUGHT ME OUT; YOU CAME TO MY OFFICE; YOU INVITED ME TO LUNCH AND IT WAS YOU WHO WANTED TO GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE TO SIGN THE PAPERS. YOU LED ALL THE WAY VAL, I JUST FOLLOWED.
VAL:
I WAS ATTRACTED TO YOU, I REALLY WAS. IT WAS. THAT FIRST VISIT WHEN YOU PUSHED ACROSS THE FORMS AND I FELT YOUR TOUCH. IT WAS SO EXCITING TO ME WITH ROGER SIITING IN THE CHAIR BEHIND US, SEEING AND FEELING NOTHING
CHARLIE:
OH, SO THE THRILL HAS EVAPORATED? WHY DON’T YOU BRING ROGER NEXT TIME? LET HIM SIT AND WATCH. PERHAPS IT’LL KILL HIM AND THEN YOU CAN SCREW TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME.
VAL (PICKING UP HER HANDBAG AND GOING TO THE DOOR):
BYE CHARLIE
CHARLIE:
SCREW YOU!
VAL:
IF ONLY ONCE I ACTUALLY FELT YOU DID, RATHER THAN JUST ANOTHER SIGNATURE ON ANOTHER DOTTED LINE
[SHE SHUTS THE DOOR]
FADE

SC1. A WARD IN TAINSTAL GENERAL
[ADEONA IS LYING ON HER BED BUT FIDGETING AND STARES AT THE BED PAN ON THE TABLE NEXT TO HER. SHE CANNOT QUITE REACH IT. THROUGH THE WARD WINDOW SHE SEES A NURSE APPEAR THROUGH THE FIRE EXIT DOOR WHICH IS TOWARDS THE LEFT. SHE LIFTS HER BODY UP IN ORDER TO CATCH HER ATTENTION BUT AS SHE LOOKS BACK TWO MEN HAVE ENTERED FROM THE CORRIDOR LEADING TO THE LIFT. SHE LOOKS BACK AT THE FIRE EXIT DOOR WHICH IS JUST CLOSING. THE TWO MEN ENTER THE WARD]
WINDSOR:
ALL RIGHT LASS, YOU’RE SAFE NOW
TUDOR:
WE’RE DETECTIVES – SENT HERE TO PROTECT YOU
[ADEONA’S FACE DROPS]
WINDSOR:
NOW, NOW – NO NEED TO FRET – YOU’RE IN NO DANGER THE HOSPITAL’S SEALED TIGHT.
[A UNIFORMED OFFICER ENTERS THE FAR END OF THE CORRIDOR]
TUDOR:
THOMPSON! GET IN HERE!
[THE POLICEMAN OBEYS]
THOMPSON:
YES SIR
TUDOR:
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THE STAIRWELL
[ADEONA IS STUNNED]
THOMPSON:
I HAD TO GO
WINDSOR:
NOT UNTIL YOU ARE RELIEVED
THOMPSON:
WELL I AM NOW
TUDOR:
SHUT UP THOMPSON
THOMPSON:
IT’S NOT MY FAULT. THEY CALLED ME IN – THEY’VE GOT NO COVER. I’VE HAD A COUPLE OF PINTS – I SHOULDN’T BE ON DUTY
[ADEONA BEGINS TO PULL THE BLANKETS OVER HER]
WINDSOR:
AHEM; I THINK YOU SHOULD RESUME YOUR PLACE OFFICER
THOMPSON:
YES SIR
TUDOR:
ANYTHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU LITTLE LADY?
[ADEONA LOOKS AT THE BED PAN AND SHAKES HER HEAD]
WINDSOR:
WE’LL JUST BE IN THE NURSES STATION AROUND THE CORNER THERE. NO-ONE CAN GET PAST US FROM THE LIFT AND THOMPSON IS WATCHING THE STAIRS. YOU’VE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT
[THEY EXIT. ADEONA SINKS DEEPER WITHIN THE BLANKETS AND TRIES TO SLEEP]
CUT TO:

SC2. A STREET IN TAINSTAL
[CHARLIE IS DRIVING HIS BMW]
SAT NAV:
STRAIGHT ON CHARLES
CHARLIE:
RIGHT HO
SAT NAV:
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
CHARLIE:
YOU SHOULD KNOW
SAT NAV:
THERE’S A ROUNDABOUT AHEAD
CHARLIE:
WHICH EXIT
SAT NAV:
SHE’S THERE
[CHARLIE LOOKS TO HIS LEFT. THERE’S A MOTEL SITUATED ON AN EXIT FROM THE ROUNDABOUT. VAL’S RED PEUGEOT IS PARKED THERE]
CHARLIE:
WHAT ABOUT ROGER?
SAT NAV:
DO YOU THINK SHE’S INSURED?
CHARLIE:
NO SHE LAPSED THE POLICY
SAT NAV:
DO YOU THINK SHE STILL WASHES?
CHARLIE:
BOTH OF THEM - YES
SAT NAV:
TURN LEFT
CHARLIE:
WHY?
SAT NAV:
TURN RIGHT THEN
CHARLIE:
WHY?
SAT NAV:
WHY NOT?
CHARLIE:
BUT WHICH?
SAT NAV:
LEFT…NO RIGHT
[CHARLIE SKEWERS THE STEERING WHEEL FROM LEFT TO RIGHT AND SEES ADEONA’S BODY CAREERING AT HIM THROUGH THE AIR. SHE IS MOUTHING SOMETHING BUT HE CANNOT HEAR HER. SHE SMASHES INTO THE WINDSCREEN]
CUT TO:

SC3. ROOM 310 BRANDON HOTEL
[CHARLIE WAKES WITH A START. HE IS FULLY DRESSED]
CHARLIE:
I SHOULD GO SEE HER
FADE TO: