I Am A CAR!

I am glad I am living in this day and age, where there are SO many genders. The exact amount, as it goes up monthly, I think it now stands at about 101 to 150. I will add to that list to make it 151. From today I now identify as a Car.

I think my earliest thought that I knew I wanted to be a car, was when age 7 for Christmas, we were all given cars. I was given a Penelope Pitstop car. It was one of my most memorable and best Christmas gift until then.

I haven’t come out yet and told anyone. My Husband and 2 children don’t know, neither do those who I work with. I suppose it will come as a shock when I do tell them. There have been clues, I often make a revving noise when I laughed; and have been known to the do the odd beeping, when I was nervous. It all makes sense to me now. I thought I was going nuts. It is a good time to be a Car.

I haven’t Googled yet, to find out if there are others around the world like me, I am guessing we will be in the minority.

I know that if I said 50 years ago, that I identify as a car, I would have been locked up and the key thrown away! So, it is just as well, I have kept quiet until now.

I will be looking forward to my first ever car wash. I don’t want the one where I have to drive through, I am looking forward to a hand car wash; then an all over wax.

I don’t know much about cars, I know cars have carburettor, I haven’t got a clue what that is, I think it is that round thing. I don’t know where the engine is, but I don’t need to know, all the details; that is what the engineer is for. I expect to pass my MOT each year.

I know my meals will be different from today, it will be water, petrol, or diesel and oil. I might even try extra virgin olive oil. Only the best for me now, no more junk food.

It will be interesting when my Husband and kids drive me for the first time, because they are use to a 7-seater car.

Like my 6 cats I will have no more bills to pay! That is a plus. No electric to worry about, no gas, no tv licence, no poll tax, and no more TKMaxx, as 1, I won’t be needing clothes and 2, I would not be able to fit into the shop – LOL!

I am excited about using my windscreen wipers, for the first time, and my fog lights, and my Goodyear tyres, and heated seats in the winter. I am the whole package, I am complete.

My colour inside and out is gray. All my seats are of the finest leather.

My new name is CARman, and it must be written as I have typed it. As with us cars, we are often referred to as She, I am OK with that.

Should I ever tire of been a car, in the future I may identify as a Cat. There I know I won’t be alone as there is someone in Australia who has beaten me to it, she already identity as a cat and is treated thus.

Yesterday, I was in my 60’s but today as my new first day, my new log book shows, I am one day old. I don’t have to worry about rust or rusting, just yet.   

Thank goodness, for Human Rights, for yesterday, that Law helped me, and fully supported and protected me, and now with my transition, I am now under the AA, Green Flag, RAC and the DVLA.  

I will now honk my horn, and bid thee, beep beep. xXx