Mary, Mary. Part One.

I remember when I worked with Margaret, she was a lot older than us, she was single and had two cats, that she called, “My girls.” She was devastated when one died and later, the other. The only time I ever went to a hospice was years later when I went to see Margaret. Because of the one experience over forty years ago, when I retire, one of the things I would like to do, is go to a hospice once a week, for a few hours.

After I got married, a few doors from us lived Mary! She too was single, with two huge cats. Like Margaret her cats never went outside, ever! Mary was a lot older than Margaret. When both of Mary’s cats eventually died, ALL six of our cats moved into her house, they never went outside again, and lived out their days on freshly cooked Chicken!

Those six cats and Mary is no longer with us.

About three years ago, one of our seven cats was killed, by a hit and run almost in front of our house. It was awful.

In our small community, there is a WhatsApp group, for all who want to join, this Group it is the eyes and ears of the community. It is for anything that is happening like to let others know if a car has been stolen, or if there has been a house break-in. It is also used for missing cats!

I am not in the group, I don’t want to be in it, Paul and Meghan are in it.

A few nights ago, I did a head count and noticed at midnight that Turmeric, was not home. Paul was in the front room, doing his artwork, I went in and said, “Turmeric is not here,” He said, “It was on the community group chat, “A black and white cat has been hit by a car and killed, by the railway.” I said, “Well it can’t be Turmeric, as the railway is far away.” Paul then reminded me, “There is also a railway line at the bottom of our Avenue.” I had forgotten about that. But still, our Turmeric would not go all the way down there!

That night, I looked at the window, it felt like a thousand times, looking for his handsome face, to appear from the dark. It was an odd, strange, helpless feeling, the unknown. Many thoughts went through my mind, for this is not like Turmeric, but cats do sometimes accidently stay out all night. Usually, it is Hotel also known as Fat Bloke, by Paul, but not Turmeric. There is always a first time, that thought did not make me feel any better. We called him, Paul, and I, by our cat words, so that they all know to come in, for either food or bed time, “SHHHHH. SHHHHH, SHHHHH,” His face did not appear. Paul was SO loud, as the hours went by, I said, “Not so loud, you will wake the kids and the neighbours.” We were desperate. We were fearful, we had a 1% hope of him coming home. A 1% hope is still a live Turmeric. Meghan had come home hours ago, we said nothing to her, as we didn’t really know anything. Before I went to bed at, 2.30am Paul said to me, “Shall I wake you up if he returns home?” I replied, “No.” For I would know in the morning, he would either be here or he wouldn’t be, hopefully against hope, he would be and we would have worried for nothing. For in the past, the same had been, and cat would turn up.      

That was last Thursday. I said to Paul, “Let’s not tell Meghan, as she will be devastated, as it’s her favourite cat, let’s wait until she has finished work on Saturday night.” Our plan was to leave Turmeric, at the vets, for on the group community chat, it has been added, “The driver had hit him and ran off, a neighbour who wanted to remain anonymous, had knocked on some doors to find out if they knew the cat, no one had so his body was taken to the vets.” Over the decades that we have had cats, whenever we heard that, “A cat had died,” And we realize it isn’t our cat, we have held our cats tighter, given them extra treats and have been relieved! This was what had happened today, when Paul looked again at the page, others were relieved. We were still in limbo.

When we told Daniel, “That we would not tell Meghan, he said, “You should tell her, she’ not a child.” He was right.

Meghan arrived from her long shift from work, she told Paul and myself, some news that she had heard that day, then I said, “We have some news,” Whenever I say that, she always says fast, “Good news or bad news?” Paul said calmy, “It’s not good news,” I said, “It is Turmeric,” She said, “He is dead?” I said, “Yes,” She burst into tears and said, “OH Nooooooo!” She ran into the bathroom. In there she was completely silent. The room that we were in was silent, for I had put the telly on pause. Paul and I looked at each other, we could hear nothing! After a few minutes I asked her, “Are you ok?” Tearfully she replied, “No.” Then what seem like an aged, she came out of the bathroom. Her beautiful eyes were red with tears. She said, “I had seen on the community chat, that a black and white cat had been killed near the railway tracks, but I thought that was too far away from us, for it to be our cat.” Then I told her what Paul had told me, “There is another one at the bottom of our Avenue.” She was heartbroken, she cried and cried. She eventually said, “Where is he?” I said, “He is at the vets.” Meghan said, “I want him cremated, I don’t want him buried in the garden, to be eaten by bugs!” I said, “OK.” Meghan then said, “I can’t go to work tomorrow, I won’t be able to concentrate, what shall I tell them at work?” Now this was an age-old question, for if it is not your mother, father, or child, what can you say to your boss, to make it completely believable, that you are completely devastated at the death of your beloved cat? For what is a cat? Is it the same as a dog? A bird? A rabbit? A rat? A gerbil? A snake? A spider? Where do you draw the line, of pain? Who decides, that a father’s death is worse than what we witnessed in our Living Room?

Meghan said, through tears, “What shall I tell them at work?” That was a good question, I said, “Tell them your cat died,” She said, “I can’t say that.” Paul said, “Well tell them you have an upset tummy,” She said, “If I say that, then I am not allowed to go to work for three days, and I am at work again on Monday.” I replied, “Just tell the truth, you can’t go to work like that.” In her whole young career, she has never had one single day off!  

Paul does the best homemade chips, and that is what it was for dinner tonight, I had already had mine, but he would do Meghan’s when she got home. Paul said, “Do you want sausage, egg and chips?” She replied, “No thank you.” I whispered to Paul, “I knew she wouldn’t want to eat.” Before Meghan went upstairs, she said to me, “Will you ring the vets tomorrow to find out where he is?” I said, “Yes.”

The next morning, a puffy eyed Meghan came down, she said, “I have had little sleep, I kept walking up, and feeling like my chest was very heavy, I thought I was having a bad dream, and then I would remember that Turmeric, is gone, then I would cry!” And then she burst into tears. She said, “Will you phone the vets to find out where he is?” I said, “Yes.” I rang the vets near us, they are famous for been expensive. I rang them and asked, “Have you had a black and white cat brought in dead?” She said, “Yes.” I said, “My daughter would like to have him cremated.” She said, “It will be, £220.00 including in that you will get a cylinder for his ashes.” There are a few people in this world their jobs I am not keen on, and one of them is greedy vets! She and Meghan had a brief conversation and they had her email address and with that they would pass on their (extortionate) price list! She had also said, “You will get his ashes in two weeks.” When they ended the call, Meghan said, “Is that too expensive, what do you think?” I said, “It is up to you, if it is what you want, but can I ask for your board and lodging first?” She said, “Yes I will send it to you now.” Then Meghan said, “I have looked up a pet crematorium, can you ring them for me?” I said, “OK.” She gave me the number and I rang them, then with the phone on speaker, she had a conversation with a lovely lady on the phone. She was told, “To cremated your cat, it will be £180.00, including in that price, you will get a fur clipping, a paw print, a cylinder for the ashes, a card and a certificate,” Meghan said, “Could he be cremated today?” The lady said, “Yes can you be here for 3pm?” I then said, “He is at the vets at the moment, do you collect?” She said, “If we collect him, that would be an extra £55,” I said, “We will bring him to you.” I then rang the vets back and said, “We would like to collect our cat, what is the latest time we can collect him?” She sounded surprised and said, “Collect him?” I said, “Yes.” She replied, “The latest time is 12.30.” I said, “OK, will he be wrapped up?” She said, “Yes.” From our last cat that was killed by a hit and run, I know they freeze and keep the cats for 30 days, and if they are not claimed by then, then they are cremated. Meghan then informed Paul, for neither she nor myself would want to hold the dead cat, we knew he would be braver than us. Daniel and Darius, our grandson was at his football practice, they too wanted to be there at 3pm.

Paul Meghan and I went to the vets to get Turmeric, it was a surreal moment, When the receptionist came to the door with him, Paul said, “This is his photo, please can you make sure that this is him?” She looked at the photo, and then went back inside with the cat that was in her arms, to have a look, she came back out to us and said, “Yes this is your cat.” Meghan cried some more. Paul took him.

At home, because we were now too early, for the 3pm appointment, Paul asked Meghan, “Do you want Turmeric, to be put here, on his bed, or do you want him to be put in the front room?” She said, “I want him here on his bed.” So, he was placed in his usual sleeping, favourite place. Some of the other cats came and sniffed at him, and Clarence tried to stand on him, but Meghan would not allow that. When Darius arrived with his dad, I said, “This is Turmeric.” He looked at the bundle. He had cried, last night when his dad had told him the sad news.

We then all got into the car, for Turmeric’s final journey.