A fully grown man called Nobbsy

He doesn't drink coffee or tea
just Robinson's Orange Squash
and when he answers the phone he says "Nobbsy speaking"
and I want to tell him
Your name is James Nobbs.
Call yourself Jamie or Jimmy or just James
but not Nobbsy,
you're a fully grown man
you're the second oldest person in the office
you've been here since before the intranet
you've been here longer than the Pepsi Max machine.

If you have to, save Nobbsy for 5 aside football
or when your lining them up and Wetherspoons
and your mates can say "Oy Nobbsy, hurry up."
or "Nobbsy, check out the arse on her."
But at work just call yourself James
and take the Pokemon stickers
off your briefcase.