Herbert The Hermit - Part 2

 continued ..

Herbert The Hermit

 

Part 2

By Paul McCann

 

 

‘I fell in love once Bert . I still remember the night before the day I was married to her and how excited I was “’

‘Well  the thing is I remember living in a shed with her and when she first found an empty bottle of
mine that I tried to hide . After that I began to drink in the park near where we lived . She had no knowledge of what I was doing then and when I made my way home I would always be singing and very loosely and lubricated . As the kids grew up they met some of the boys in the mob . They were  all well liked and protected as if it meant something . In my kids eyes I could have been anything to them but a Father and so I dedicated my life to the drink . It was my decision and hard as it was I
had made up my mind to spend the rest of my life on the drink ."

Bert wasn’t  bothered by
what he said and I just couldn’t contemplate how he justified a life on the drink
and that’s when I realized that I was making judgments instead of recognising his
right to self destruct  . The thing is I
didn’t want to go down that road and do what he had done or end up the way he
was . I was grateful of his company and appreciated his wanting to share his message
in a bottle .

“Where did you meet your wife Bert “

He looked away for a minute and after a moments silence he said  

 “ I met her in the big open spaces .of the Plaza Ballroom . That’s where I met her . The thing you see we danced " .

It was as if suddenly the Calvary rode in and threw a firing single shot as I watched Bert’s face light up and he smiled almost for the first time .’’

.I never explained to him that my wife and I also met at a dance in the local community hall  .

“What kind of dancing did you do Bert “: ‘

“ Who knows but we glided across the floor and threw all our cares to the wind and I never thought my drink problem would come between Maggie and I ."

“So your wife’s name was Maggie ?:

He put on a brave face and replied .

 “That’s right , yeah Maggie soon woke up to me after too many late nights and not enough sober days . I always had another good excuse for getting drunk . When we drifted apart took the kids
and pulled everything together again . All for the sake of our three of kids she said . They grew up so fast Doc “ 

“Have you ever seen any of your kids again Bert ?”

Each time I went through Detox I promised I would call them but never did . Its too late now and now the last time I saw them was about 1964 . That’s when the doctor had told my wife and Mother at this stage that If I never stopped drinking I would be dead in six months . So I’m living on borrowed time these days Doc .“

“Its been a long day Beet .I’ll head off now and see you tomorrow after work “

:Yeah Doc see you tomorrow .”:

I went home that night and felt good about Berts progress and had even though about contacting his kids and maybe Maggie .  

The next morning I came to work and was told about an incident that 
had occurred during the night  . It seems
that Bert had hit one of the night staff before attacking another patient who
required stitches in his head . I was just so sad after all the progress that
was being made .’’

I sat there looking out the window as the wind blew cold and the
rain fell like arrows to the ground  . I
never knew really what happened but would try to extract that from Bert after my
shift .

Later in the day I went to visit Bert in his isolation ward . When
I spoke to him it was almost just like any other day  . Bert seemed ok , even very stable . When I
mentioned to him about the incident Bert just brushed it off as if nothing had
taken place . I tried about a dozen times to find out what went on or why he
had reacted the way he did but each time I spoke about it , Bert would stand up
and walk away .

In the end I decided not to prod any more questions about  what had happened and decided to  go home .

During the day I had contacted Maggie  but she was adamant she never wanted to see Bert and was quite clear about me not contacting the children .It seemed that the door was closed for any further contact .

Somehow I felt that I was now the only person able to talk with Bert about his life and on going recovery and rehabilitation .

Who can justify what Bert did was right ?

Who is there to  answer his message in the bottle ., if not  I  , for in Bert’s world nothing made sense anymore and no one really mattered to him anymore . The next few weeks of his detox program passed without any incident and Bert was now ready for discharge .

When he returned to his bedside flat he was so happy to see it was clean and in a liveable state .’ I could see that thanking people was something Bert couldn’t do anymore .  It was now up
to Bert now to stay off the drink and keep his flat clean and tidy .  When I mentioned this to him  he regarded it as some sort of a joke . He would laugh and said ,

‘What do I know about house keeping ?

I resigned myself to seeing things as they were and not expect too much  . The message in a bottle was clear . Bert was not going to stop drinking and that he would just fade away into a nothing existence again    .

Later that month I had to ring another ambulance after I found Bert had fallen again and this time he had a serious head injury .  I couldn’t even talk to him about  what had happened . I almost felt guilty as if I should or could have prevented this from happening..

I told myself not to be so hard on myself and then I was able  to cope with the guilt of not being able to prevent the harm that happened .

As crazy as it sounds I had to forgive myself I suppose for Bert’s  drink problem .

I did make contact with his kids who really  did not want to see or talk to their Father in
any case .  After his head injury was treated Bert was placed into Detox again for another clean up . I called to see him every night after my shift just to be there for him as there was no one else willing
to do that .

I hoped that he could change his ways and time after time when I told him to get it sorted out he would lash out with ,

“ Doc I haven’t got a carving knife big enough to cut it away
and if I did I’m sure I might murder somebody in the process . “

One evening as I sat with him I was really amazed when his face kit up as bright as the sun . I turned around and there they were , his four kids . They had come to visit him  . Something
must have changed their hearts you know I think I mut have made them feel bad about me being the only person to visit him in hospital . I had said many things to them about their Father and at last they were able to come .

I stood back and watched them put their arms around their Father and he gave them all great big hug . That evening I had shivers all over my body . It was like a miracle had happened .

 

For the next 6 six months Bert never drank again and even started to go for a morning walk through the park . 
On the morning I found him  there on his sofa , I could see he was at last at peace with himself and life .

Sometimes in life we are called to do things for someone else and even though we don’t know what we are chosen we respond .’

Apart from everything else I had gone through with Bert we had a reasonable relationship and we really never argued .

Now in his absence I feel grateful for his straight lines of communication about his condition and I cherish the things he had said to me  .

He got to see his kids before he left and they saw a father and he saw that as well I believe . His message in a bottle was read and appreciated I hope by many .

At his funeral mass his kids and wife spoke of him in a nice way as did the priest who tried to persuade others to me to reach out to other people who might need help and don’t make judgements about things unless you have seen or understood what it means to have a message in a bottle floating on the surface in the sea of sadness .

The night after he was buried I walked the streets of the city and tried to remember Bert and some of the Friday nights he might have once had .

Bert had made a big impression on my life and somewhere he had filled in the gaps  between then and now where things had fallen through and were lost forever .

I took out the scrap of paper that I had found in Berts flat , I read the words on it .

Hey Doc if you want to destroy the last moments of your life then don’t do it by yourself . Its not too late now for you  . Go and find her because you deserve her and you cannot make it by yourself . God bless you for making the last days of my life happy .

‘I put the note back into my pocket with shaking hands as tears in my eyes .

I found my wife again and we have 3 children now who I love .
Bert had reopened a door for me and I have shared his message with them .

Herbert has left this world and I know he has found the answer to the questions his life presented ..

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies but I became Herbert’s friend .

Herbert’s history was a sad one but during the time I knew him I became aware of many things about myself so I guess I was lucky to have said hello to Herbert before he left this world without a and friend to say goodbye to him  .

This fragile case was one that needed to be handled with care and his lunatic story was told before he made his  exit from life .

 The End

By Paul McCann

Herbert The Hermit - Part 1 link

https://www.abctales.com/story/mcscraic/herbert-hermit-part-1