Jerimiah's Fortune

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I sat at the bar in Sean O'Caseys one evening with Brian . Before us
were two dark pint glasses half filled with stout . The pints had their
own time to be finished and it was not soon .
We were in no hurry to finish up and go home and as we sat there
talking I noticed this well dressed woman in the corner looking over at
me . It never dawned on me that she had been listening to my
conversation about the bumped up prices of cottage's in Buncrana . Not
that I knew much about real estate anyhow . I was just making talk and
bluffing my way . At the end of the day all I was looking for was a
place to get my head down . To cut a long story short I was flat broke
and hadn't worked for quite some time .So what would I know about high
finance .
The well dressed lady came over and joined in the conversation ,
"Are you thinking about buying a place in Buncrana then ?" Says she
with a query in her voice .
"Oh it's a bit beyond me ." says I .
I still remember the look on her face . It was innocent and genuine as
she spoke . I though to myself who have I .
She took out a book from her handbag and opened it up . Running her
finger down a list things to do in the months ahead she said ,

"I'm soon to be heading to Eire Square on business and I'm looking for
someone to look after my old place in Donegal . Just upkeep around the
place and some general maintenance if your interested . In return I'll
give you the cottage rent free for six months. It would give you some
time to have a look around Buncrana and get acquainted with the locals
there ."
Brian kicked my feet under the table . Then he raised his pint glass
and finished which was out of character for him . Wiping his lips he
said , "Listen Danny I've got somewhere to go . I'll catch you later on
."
Before I could speak Brian was out the door and away . The well dressed
woman came and sat beside me at the bar . She sat her glass beside mine
.
Unsure of what to do or say I scrambled for words to impress her .
"Actually I'm a writer and would love to take some time out in Donegal
."
"Isn't it a small world . I'm a writer as well. My name is Clare ." She
said . I reached out my hand and to her and she grasped it gently
.
"Nice to meet you . My name is Danny and its very nice of you to open
your home to me but the thing is Clare you see, my car is off the road
at present and I'm not sure how I would be able to get to Donegal
."
"Is that so ." She said and I replied ..
"I'm afraid so . Clare as much as I would love to take up your offer
I'll have to let it go ."
She opened her handbag and took out a book . She gave it to me and said
,
"I wrote this book and published it myself .It's taken me five years .
Now the hard work is only beginning . I am personally going to sell it
and could do with a helping hand . If you look after my cottage for me
. I can be free to travel around the country speaking to people and
selling my work ."
I opened the book and skimmed through the pages . The book was about
making garments from tweed . It explained the process from the sheep's
back to the finished article . Each painful step was explained in
detail . There were photographs, sketches and fashion designs and
patters ".
"Looks like you've been busy "
I said .
" Its been a lot of hard work ".
She replied .
I tried to be open and encouraging about her work .A s one writer to
another I got into a very lengthy conversation about the book . As we
talked she bought a few drinks , and I kept talking and she kept
bringing the drinks . At the end of the night I told her I would be
glad to look after her cottage . She was delighted and said ,
"Thank you Danny . I am so grateful ."
"I'm not sure how to get there . Can you give me some directions Clare
"
I asked .
"Catch the bus from Dublin to Donegal . It leaves twice a day from the
fancy clothes shop at the end of the main street ".
I nodded and she began to draw me a map on a scrap of paper . She
marked a place on the map called Jerimiahs Lane then she wrote down a
phone number where she could be contacted . She gave me the scrap of
paper and said ,
" When you get to Donegal ask the driver to let you off at Doris Hill.
If you should need to contact me at any time I've put down a phone
number where I can be reached . ."
"Well what the heck I guess . It all sounds ok Clare . I've nothing to
loose ." Says I as I took the scrap of paper . She smiled and .

"Yes indeed . Now after you get off the bus follow the only road there
and that will take you to Jerimiahs Lane . My cottage is the last
property on the lane"
She said ,
"How will I know it ?" I asked .
"There is an old well in the middle of an overgrown garden . That's my
land and the key to the cottage is under the large white stone by the
well" .
"What jobs do you need done ."
"Just keep the place tidy until I return . I may be gone for at least
six months, maybe more. If I get inspired I may even start another book
. "
"Anything else I need to know ?"
"Well now there is no electricity and you'll have to fetch your water
from the well . But I'm sure you're used to roughing it ."
With that Clare got up and left . I sat there for a while thinking
about Donegal and at first it all sounded really romantic but the more
I thought about drawing water from the well every day and sitting
around in the candle light the more I could see me not going . But then
again I had told her I would and in my books you're as good as your
word . So without another word I finished my drink and went to chase
the morning light .
The next morning I caught the bus . Getting on I asked the driver if he
knew of a Doris Hill in Donegal . Sure enough he said he did and so
after a good hours drive he driver let me off at Doris Hill .I got off
the bus and started to walk down the road for quite some time until I
found not one lane but several lanes and none of them were signposted .
It was going to be pot luck if I took the right one or not . I walked
for miles without seeing any cottage . There was no sign of life
anywhere . I took out the map Clare had drawn and checked it up this
way and that way . I doubled back and took another lane but as it got
dark I still hadn't found the cottage or Jerimiahs Lane . I went to the
highest ground I could find in the hope to see some lights or any sign
of life but there wasn't a light to be seen anywhere . Darkness fell
and there was I stranded in the middle of nowhere . Well I thought I
better get my head down and so I sat down on the ground as the cold
wind buffeted my face . I started to feel the cold as I realised I was
going to spend the night under the stars. As I lay there my eyes
eventually started to close . Suddenly I was awoke by a drunk who
tripped over my body . Both of us let out a scream in shock and like a
busted balloon I jumped to my feet, shaping up .
"Who are you and what do you want ?" Says I .
"Jerimiahs my name and who might you be stranded sober here on my road
in the middle of the night ."
"Dannys my name. "
After a while we both settled down a little . Then from his pocket he
produced a drop of the mountain dew . We shared a swig or two and a
laugh or two and eventually in the dead of night we both fell fast
asleep .
Next morning I found a head on my shoulders that I wish had dropped off
during the night . The bright sunlight pierced my eyes and as lay there
looking through the hole in the thatch of an old cottage . Suddenly the
front door opened and in walked Jerimiah .
"Jeazus boyo what a night that was "
He said as I sat up slowly . In a kind of a daze I said ,
"Jerimiah what a fright you gave me last night ."
In the light of day I could see him clearly now . He was as big as a
mountain and this red beard clung to his face like it was never going
to leave without a fight . His hair was long and tattered with his eyes
were fierce and full of fire . His hands were like two dirty spades as
they unloaded two clods of turf into an open fire already smoking up
some salmon . His voice was friendly and I chanced to shake his hand
.
"Jerimiaha I'm not sure if you know of a woman called Clare but it was
she who sent me here . I'm to look after her cottage in Jerimiahs Lane
until she returns from her travels. "
I told him about Clare and he listened and then he told me about
Clare.
"I can take you to her cottage and also to her poor invalid husband in
a wheelchair who I've been taking care of for the past six months while
she's been away on her travels . It was only by chance that I found her
husband barely alive in his wheelchair . One night half drunk I was on
my way back from the bacon slicers when l heard him screaming out for
help . The electricity was cut and so was the water to the cottage . He
wouldn't have survived a week and that's what Clare wanted I'll tell
you . "
I sat there surprise and asked ,
"Why ?"
"For the insurance . She had his life insured for a huge cover . She
never counted on me finding him though. I rearranged the area a little
and put in a few extra laneways and signposts and just to confuse
things a bit more I've knocked down her cottage and have been looking
after John ever since "
"Holy Mother Og God ." Says I .
'Have you got a contact for Clare . A phone number or an
address?"
He asked /
I produced the scrap of paper and nodded . The Jerimiah went over to
his bedroom door and brought out John in his wheelchair .
"Tell her about this little surprise I have waiting for her if she
wants to return . and tell her I said Jerimiah said hello ."
I was stunned ,
"Jerimiah why did she ask me to come here ?" I asked .
"Work it out Danny . You were the one that was meant to find her
husbands dead body . You were the one who was going to get the ball
rolling for her ."
"I'm out of here ."
I said as I got to my feet . Jerimiah laughed and laughed and said
,
"Listen before you go . Let me tell you something else . There was an
old well on her property . What she didn't know was there was a fortune
at the bottom of it . I found bundles of money all wrapped up in oil
skins . The funny thing is I'm rich now and if you have time tell her
about that as well when you ring her on the phone. ".

By Paul McCann
THE END