Round The Turf Fire

Round The Turf Fire - Part 1

Setting '

The Meehan family home in rural Ireland .
There is no escape from hard work unless you choose to leave the land .
The real love within any Irish farmhouse is found attatched around the turf fire It is the centre of the family home .
The place of communication and relaxation .
Always near the hearth ,a bucket sits with some peat turf for burning .

Around the fireplace a rocking chair sits with other armchairs nearby .
There is a old kitchen table that has seen better years .
Around the table are eight dinner plates awaiting a meal . Eight glasses are placed beside the plates and a large jug filled with water sits in the centre of the table . There is a curtain that is drawn separating the dining room and the living area . Some picture frames hang on the walls .
Behind the back door a pile of heavy coats lie on top of each other .

Plot -

This play brings a light hearted look at those who consider leaving the land of their birth in the hope of a better life .
Irelands biggest export has always been its people who have emigrated all over the world . America has always been the top destination .

Setting the Scene

Maisy (the Ma) is peeling spuds at the kitchen sink .
She counts them out and then goes over to the kitchen table and pours water from the jug into a glass on the table and takes drink .
She returns back over to peel a few more spuds .
She notices a speck of dirt on the window pane and starts to rub like mad to clean it off . Someone outside passes by and she gives them a friendly wave .
Paddy the brother walks in through the door . He first takes off his cap and shakes it then the jacket and boots come off . Everything is thrown in the corner on top of the pile of things already there .

Round The Turf Fire

By

Paul McCann Ó

Characters '

Barney ' The Da

Maisy - The Ma

Paddy - The Oldest son

Sean 'The Youngest son

Molly - The Eldest daughter

Kate ' The youngest daughter

Father Michael ' The Parish Priest

Hughie -The Storyteller

Dialogue Begins

Maisy:- " I wish your Da would hammer a couple of nails into that wall , so you could hang your coats up when you come in .

Paddy ' " He was saying just last week that he was going to do that Ma just as soon as he found his hammer like . "

Maisy ' " Sure hasn't he been saying the same thing for the past five and a half years now . Just have a look at shape of this place . Look at the armchair there .(She points to the fireplace ) I'm dreading it will collapse under me each time I sit down . Sure all it requires is a bit of glue and a few nails ."

Paddy- "Do you remember the day Father Michael came for a visit and the seat gave way under him Ma ?

Maisy-" God I'll never forget it . I didn't know what to say ."

Paddy-"When I tried to help him to his feet I nearly dislocated his shoulder ."

Maisy:- "But the worst of it was he started to laugh and I was trying not to ."

Paddy-" There he was like a big lump on the floor laughing away ."

Maisy '" Fathers bottle of holy water split all over the busted chair . Oh I'll never lived it down . Your Da won't let me get rid of the chair . he says it been blessed and it would be a sacrilege to let it go ."

Paddy-"There's not a ounce of badness left in the chair ."

Maisy-"Its almost like the good Lord himself had sat on it ."

Paddy-"then there was the day Molly brought her first fella home to meet us and we knew exactly where he was going to sit .

Maisy '"Your Da didn't warn him ."

Paddy-"I can still see his face when it collapsed under him . He went as white as a sheet and all of us laughing . He nearly ran out of the house in tears . "

Maisy-" It's no wonder Molly and your man fell out . Something's aren't meant to be . "

Paddy '"Molly has never sat on the chair since ."

Maisy '" I wish your Da would fix it . I'm sure he is waiting for the next victim to arrive and take a seat by the fire ."

Paddy '"Did you ever find the hammer he lost ?

Maisy -" I'm sure he has it stuck away in a safe place Paddy . Now God only knows where it is . "

Paddy '" I've never seen him with it .

Maisy-" Sure enough . Maybe it will turn up . I've been asking Saint Anthony for years to find it . Even if the hammer was found you know I think your Da may have forgotten how it works . (They both laugh )

Paddy-"There's a bitterness in the wind outside .

Maisy '"Do me a favour son go and bring in some more turf for the fire and tie up the donkey while you're there .

Paddy -"Right then I'll go and see to it Ma ."

Maisy-"Don't take all day about it . Its getting late ."

Exit Paddy

Maisy brings some of the potato peelings over and throws them into the fire . In walks the youngest son Sean wiping his boots fiercely by the door and then takes them off and throws his jacket on top of the pile heaped up already in the corner . He moans a grumbles .

Sean- " I wish we could kill that stupid donkey Ma ."

Maisy-" What's the problem son ?

Sean-"Clods Ma.

Maisy-"You've walked in one again then

Sean- They're like magnets to my feet . Donkeys should think about where they're dumping things ."

Maisy '"Shut up Sean .Go on and wash up , dinner won't be long ."

Sean -"What's for dinner Ma ."

Maisy -Spuds ."

Sean- "Ah Jeazzus . Not Spuds again .'

Maisy-"It's spuds we're having and you'll eat them and like them . I want to see you smile when you eat your spuds ."

Molly walks in singing softly .
She manoeuvres her way round Sean's boots lying there by the door and takes off her coat and throws it on top of all the others on the heap .

Molly '" I'm home . What's for dinner ?

Sean-" Spuds ."

Molly- "You must be joking . Not spuds again ."

Maisy- " Spuds and you'll enjoy them ."

Molly '" I'm sick of spuds ."

Sean-" I'm sicker than you Molly ."

Molly-"Don't be silly Sean . You can't be sicker than me ."

Kate walks in and narrowly misses tripping over Seans boots at the door .
She sits down at the table .

Kate ' "What's for dinner ? '

Maisy-Something you'll enjoy ."

Kate '" What's that ?

Maisy-" Spuds.

Paddy walks in carrying a bucket of turf and trips over Sean's boots . The contents of the bucket is spilt all over the floor . Sean looks worried as Paddy picks himself up off the floor .

Paddy-"That's it . I'll going to kill you Sean ."

Sean- "What did I do ?

Paddy-" You've left your boots in front of the door again . "

Sean-" No problem Paddy . Just let me kill the donkey first .

Paddy- .Why?

Sean -"I'm sick and tired of walking through its clods .

Paddy '"Well if you looked where you were going instead of star gazing half the time you might get somewhere .

Maisy-" That's enough you two . Molly bring in a bucket from the well .
Sean leave the donkey alone and grab some of that turf on the floor and throw it on the fire . Kate put your Da's slippers out near the chair . Paddy don't bother killing Sean and simmer down before your Da comes in ."

They all do as they're told . Paddy sits down at the table . Sean is making a big noise about picking up the turf .

Maisy - " Stop the carry on Sean and stoke that fire up ."

Paddy- "What's for dinner ?

Maisy-"Spuds ."

Paddy '"Why can't we have something different for a change ?

Maisy- "Oh yea . Like what ?

Paddy '" Well like stew .

Maisy '" We can't do stew .

Paddy ' "Why not ?

Maisy '" Well we've no carrots for a start ."

Paddy-"I'll get some ."

Maisy-" It wouldn't matter anyhow because we've got no meat .

Paddy- " I'll get some meat ."

Maisy-" We don't have the money to buy the meat .

Paddy-" I'll get the money .

Maisy '"Oh yeah . Tell me then, how do you expect to get that ?

Paddy '"I'll get a real job ?

Maisy-"What doi you mean a real job . Isn't working in the fields good enough for you ?

Paddy-" Its not that Ma . I meant a job that pays at the end of the week and not the end of the harvest .

Maisy '" Sure you know Paddy Meehan there's no such a thing as that ".

Paddy-" I'll find a one then .

Maisy-" Right then . Until you do there's no stew . So enjoy your spuds .

Paddy-" I don't want spuds. "

Maisy-"There will be no more discussion about it .

Paddy-"I'll be turning into a spud one day ."

Maisy-"You'll be no different than your Da and he's grown up all right . So you'll eat your spuds and you'll like them ..

In comes Barnet the Da followed by Molly with the bucket of water . Barney throws the coat on top of everybody else's .

Barney-" Well I'm home . What's for dinner ?

Everybody-" Spuds ! 

Barney '"Right . Spuds and what ?

Maisy '"Gravy. "

Barney '"What ."

Maisy -That's it . Spuds and gravy ."

Barney-"Are you joking or what ?

Maisy-" You heard what I said and there'll be no more complaining about spuds . All right ? "

Maisy serves out one plate at a time starting with Kate .

Kate '"But..

Barney ' "But nothing ."

Everyone is quietly seated at the table . Maisy continues with serving the spuds and gravy . A large helping for Sean .

Sean- "But Ma..

Maisy- But nothing . Shut your mouth and eat your dinner . "

Sean - "But have you eve tried to eat your dinner with your mouth shut Ma ? .

Maisy-" Its not funny Sean . I don't want anything left on your plate .

Paddy lifts his plate to make it easier to serve .

Maisy " Thank you . (She serves ) Now eat and enjoy ."

Paddy '" I'll eat but I won't enjoy ."

Barney-"Well just pretend you enjoy it Paddy ok ."

Paddy _I'm sick of pretending . Day in, day out, for the past month and a half Spuds , spuds and more spuds .

Barney-"What's the matter with spuds . They were good enough for your Grandad and he grew up all right .

Paddy '"I know, but times have changed Da ."

Barney-"What do you mean ?

Paddy-"Like we're living in a modern age now .

Barney-" What's that got to do with spuds ?

Paddy-"Everything .

Maisy ' "Right . Then tomorrow I'll do chips then . Will that do ?

Paddy-" That's not the thing . I can get chips anytime at Murphy's chipper on the corner in town Ma ."

Maisy-"Well them if that's what you want then go to Murphy's and get you dinner and don't come here looking for a feed .

Barney-" And I wish you would . Maybe I'd get some peace around here .

Paddy '"That's really the thing I want to talk about .

Barney-" What thing's that ?

Paddy-" Me leaving .

Masiy-" Stop now . That's enough silly talk .

Paddy '"I've been making some enquiries about emigration .

Maisy and Barney seem upset .

Maisy-"Come on Barney . Eat your spuds before they're cold .

Barney '"There'll be no talk about emigrating at this table .'

A strange silence chills the air for a while as plates are cleaned up .

Kate ' "What's for dessert Ma ?

Maisy- "Do you think we're millionaires Kate ?

Kate '"I'm just asking like ?

Maisy- " Dessert . Indeed . (She gets up from the table and goes over to look in the cupboard ) You never know , there just might be something in the cupboard here . Let me see . Well I could whip up some sweet potato pancakes .

Molly-" Sweet potato pancakes ? I don't think I've a stomach for them Ma ."

Sean '"Me neither Ma ?

Maisy '"I wish we had never sold that chicken .

There's a knock at the front door .

Barney '"I wonder who that is ?

Kate-"Oh I hope it's the chicken who remembers where we live ."

They all have a laugh and Barney gets up to answer the door .

Barney-" Hello Father Michael . Come on in ."

Father Michael ' "I won't keep you long . I just though I'd pass on the news about the potato picking there by Murphys meadow ."

He walks over top the fireplace and sits down . The armchair gives way under him and Fr Michael ends up on the floor with both feet in the air . Maisy jumps up and runs over .

Maisy- "Oh Jeazzus Father Michael are you right ?

Father Michael gets up and lets go off a loud laugh .

Father Michael ' "Isn't that the same chair I sat on once before ?

Barney-"I've been meaning to fix that chair you know Father .

Maisy-" Like the nail on the wall when you find your hammer . He's bloody useless Father . Excuse my language . Look at this Father over in the corner , (She points to the pile of coats ) All that's required Father ,is a couple of nails in that bloody wall there. For the sake of a hammer and nail there they lie in despair ."

Fr Michael-" Sure enough . I really must be on my way . There' a new boom on the potato blight I'm reading ."

Maisy '" Have you had dinner yet Father ?

Fr Michael '"I had some spuds in their jackets earlier on . Thanks all the same . God bless all here ."

Fr Michael exits and everyone settles back at the table . A few seconds pass and everyone bursts out laughing .

Molly '"Poor Father Michael . I though he broke his back .

Kate:- Ma , I've never seen you move as quick .

Paddy '" Well Da . I think you better fix that chair before his next visit .

Maisy '" Don't bother your barney . That chair's going out ."

Barney '"It can't go out . The chairs got a blessing on it .

Paddy ' "After dinner Da , I need to have a talk with you in private ."

Barney '" Ok son . Molly it's your turn to tend to the washing up . The rest of you get to bed . You'll all need a decent nights sleep . Tomorrow we've a full day picking spuds from Murphy's Meadow .

Kate ' "Good night all .

Barney ' "Good night angel ."

Sean ' "Good night ."

Maisy '"Good night son . He's just a chip of the old block .

Sean '"I heard that .

Barney '"Sleep tight and don't let the spuds bite "

One by one they all exit except for Paddy and Barney they sit down by the fire ..

Part 1