We Need A New Driver

By Melkur
Mon, 18 Feb 2013
- 883 reads
4 comments
Past smoke-stained cottages
The dark engines pours ash of vitriol
Over newly-baptised heads of babies peering
From prams by the sweet shop’s windows,
Clouding the sky a paler shade of grey.
Grimy industrial girders clank in rhythm
Taking empty carriages down, down to the pit.
Men blink like moles in sunshine,
Coming up for air at shift’s end.
Pile upon pile of blackness heaped on the wheels,
Like willing scapegoats bearing a sinful load,
Ash cloys the air down to their lungs and further.
Fine painters in the devil’s galleries,
Van Gogh of the shadows and sunflowers,
Giotto of the flaking frescoes in the dark.
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Comments
Really good Melkur. You
Really good Melkur. You paint a vivid picture here. My favourite line.
"Men blink like moles in sunshine"
Sums the whole wonderful poem up in a few words.
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This is really good. I like
This is really good. I like poetry that alludes to the past toils and travails of ordinary people and this one is spot on. The imagery is relentless and works particularly well. Well done.
I have just read your "Sea Children" which also considers the lives and destinies of generations tied to their inescapable lives as if by fate. I wasn't too sure about the repetition at the end of each stanza, but that opinion is purely personal and totally subjective - I bet there'll be many who'll like it and the way it underscores each section. Thanks for sharing.
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A lot of good imagery again,
A lot of good imagery again, Melkur. Very concentrated. I'm not sure I quite understand the artistic allusion in the last 3 lines. Rhiannon
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