Anna

"Anna would you please come out of there, I'm bursting? Point across
I waited for an answer. "Anna", I tried again, "if you don't hurry up
I'll go right here on the landing". There was no reply as usual. This
is how it has been for ages now. I'd start my day, baying to be let
into my own bathroom. My slightly moody sister would be holed up in
there just after her breakfast, while I, being a right sleepy head,
would be left outside the door doing the full bladder foxtrot.

Ah, at last, the familiar hissing of the air freshener signalled it
wouldn't be long now. The door slowly creaked open. "Thank you," I
spluttered. "Can I go now"? I pushed my way past her with only one
thought on my mind. As I sat there a somewhat different odour struggled
to be identified above the heady perfume of the lavender mist air
freshener. What was it? It sort of smelt like ... "Dawn your
breakfast's ready dear, don't be to long or you'll miss your
train".

It was my Mother's voice. It boomed up the stairs. It was a big voice
from a big lady. I'd began to notice that in the last few months mum
had become a very large lady indeed. Now I know we were all big in our
family, but she took the biscuit, and everything else she could get her
hands on come to think about it. I hated thinking this way about my own
mother, but even I had to admit that she had started to let herself go
a bit, ever since our father had died around about Christmas time. But,
silly thoughts aside, she may have become a little bit heavier and
rounder but she was still, God bless her, our mother. My sister Anna
also had problems with her weight, but she never talked about it
much.

Mornings were always an almighty rush. I only needed to set my clock
half an hour earlier and all this hurrying around would have been
avoided, but I had to admit it, I loved my bed. "Dawn come and get this
breakfast now, or I'll eat it". "Alright mother, I'll be right there".
I couldn't give my dear Mamma another excuse to eat even more, although
she really didn't need one.

I quickly dragged my overalls on and headed downstairs. "Where's Anna
mum, she was up before I was". "Oh she took a bowl of something and
went back to her room. She was mumbling something about her being too
fat". Oh my poor sister she was also having a hard time since dad died,
but it seemed I just hadn't the time to be everyone's shoulder to cry
on. I was far to busy at work.
My life seemed to be in permanent rush mode these days. There was a
chance of promotion in my department and I was determined to be in with
a shout.

Maybe I had used this situation at work as a way of dealing with the
sadness I felt, I really couldn't say. I just didn't seem to have the
time for anything. In a way I had become the main breadwinner of the
family, but my job was much more than that, it was my escape, my
future, and it meant everything to me.

I kissed my mother on the cheek and shouted my good-byes to Anna, I
think she answered, but it sounded if she were calling from the
bathroom. I was about to enquire further when my failsafe watch alarm
started bleeping. I quickly silenced it and headed for my train. I only
had twenty minutes to be at the station. Oh why hadn't I got up
earlier, just getting a cab would take me longer than that.

It must have been my lucky day. A cab pulled up at my feet and I
hastily jumped in. Once inside though I realised my luck had very
quickly disappeared. I had made a bad choice. "Sorry about the pong
love, some drunk left his calling card last night if you know what I
mean". My stomach churned over and I felt quite ill myself, but there
among the awful stench I recognised a smell I'd smelt earlier.

"The station, right," said the driver knowingly. "Yes the station
please, and please do go as fast as you can, this smell is turning my
stomach". "Right you are luv, we're on our way. Don't you worry
yourself about paying me, this car is off to be valeted anyway and as I
was going past the station I thought I'd do my good deed for the day,
get it out the way early like". He seemed a decent enough man but I
couldn't stand the smell any longer.

As we arrived I lunged for the door handle and gave a huge push
downwards. I tumbled headlong from the cab and out onto the pavement.
My lungs started taking in huge gulps of fresh air. Well it wasn't
exactly fresh. Diesels standing at the platform were adding to stench,
but at least I was out of that cab. I looked across and saw my train
standing on platform two, I, on the other hand was on platform one. I
knew that if I if I ran I could just about make it. I was determined
not to miss that train. As I'd already made a fool of myself falling
out of the cab I thought I might as we add to the spectacle by starting
to run. My heels clattered like some demented horse on wet cobbles, but
I was adamant that train would not go without me. I was able to dodge
the queue at the newspaper stand, pass the people who were waiting to
use the 'Speak Your Weight' machine and eventually collapse into my
usual seat on the train, breathless but deliriously happy.

I worked in the capital's largest and newest pharmaceutical company. It
was American owned and American ran. Speed seemed to play a major role
in everything we did. No sooner had we learnt about dietary products
and their role in the modern world, that we were having written tests
on anti-wrinkle creams. Night after night I would take home bulging
folders of paperwork. Companies selling this cream or that potion,
lipstick colours or hard skin removers would all send their brochures
for us to digest. I had tried to read them all, but they mostly filled
the wardrobe and drawers in my bedroom.

I had only been at work for about an hour when my boss called me over.
"Dawn, there's a telephone call for you. It's your mother". I was
puzzled. My mother rarely phoned me at work except in emergencies. As I
picked up the receiver to talk I could hear her shouting at Anna. "You
silly silly girl. Why". "Mother it's me what's wrong". "Oh it's your
silly sister, she's always saying she's fat and unattractive but now
I've gone and found a huge stash of food in her wardrobe". "Mother,
where is she now?" I asked as calmly as I could. "She's in that damned
toilet again, using more of that poxy lavender air thingy. The whole
house stinks". "Alright mother try to calm down. I'll be home as
quickly as I can". I glanced across the room to Mrs Clancy my boss, who
was speaking on another phone. She gently nodded and pointed towards
the door. I mouthed the words 'thank you', and left.

The journey home at this time of day was much quieter than I had
expected. A few Mums pushed a few uninterested kids around the shops.
Workmen, if you could call them that, shouted remarks from their
scaffolding. Even the beggars had put away their sleeping bags and
collecting tins. I was just thinking of crossing the road when a taxi
pulled up besides me. It was my friend in the sick-
mobile. That was it, the smell, the smell I'd smelt earlier at
home.

I opened the door and climbed inside. The smell of lavender overwhelmed
me. "Smelling sweet now ain't she". The driver obviously high on the
stuff had remembered me from earlier. "Can I give you a lift anywhere
lady, free of charge of course". It was a nice gesture I suppose, so I
agreed. After all, he had inadvertently given me the answer to a
problem I didn't dare admit was happening.

The journey home gave me plenty of time to put the pieces together. My
Father's death had obviously played a major role in this. The three of
us were each battling grief in our own little way. I had buried myself
in my work and the thought of promotion had blocked out my natural
feelings. I'd completely by-passed the grieving process. Mum had turned
to food and Anna well she'd?

As we approached the house I leant forward and asked the driver one
more favour. He nodded his head gently and switched off his engine. At
the front door I calmly took several deep breaths and went in. I needed
to find an inner strength I had to be stronger than strong. We had
suffered long enough. I collected my mother from the kitchen table
where she was sitting staring emptily at cereal packet and took her by
the hand. "Mum, I said gently, we have to sort Anna out. She needs us
so much right now. Will you to help me please, for her sake". She
slowly nodded her head and lifted her bulky frame out of her seat.
"Come on then, let's be a family again, dad would have wanted it that
way.

Anna was crying softly on her bed. I was initially quite shocked at
what I was looking at. I glanced at mother then quickly back at Anna.
"Anna darling, it's me Dawn, we've come to help". But the reply was
filled with venom. "Go away. I'm fat and frumpy and nobody loves me. I
hate you all". I went over to the bed and stroked her hair. "Anna we do
love you, we promise. But we need help, professional help". "Go away,"
she shrieked even louder. "Leave me alone". I looked across to mother,
more I suppose to see if she was still supporting me, and then back at
Anna.

"Anna would you say you were the same size as Mother or larger". She
looked across then back to the bed. "I can, and will get you help Anna.
But first I want you to come with me and hear just how heavy you are.
He doesn't lie; he just tells it like it is. Will you come or not. I've
even got a taxi waiting outside". She nodded the tiniest of nods, and I
gently helped her to her feet. She was like somebody four times her
real age. She let out a huge sigh. It was almost like being heard for
the very first time. This was what she had been waiting for. Help. "If
you don't like what he tells you, will you agree to treatment"?

Again she nodded silently. "Come on then, grab your coat and come with
me. We are going on a short journey". "To the station please, driver".
Nobody questioned my orders. I was in full command.

Once there we headed for the 'Speak Your Weight machine'. The taxi
driver, who was a totally allied to the coarse, came with us.

"Right Anna on you get. The quicker we know the damage the quicker we
can get some help". But as she stepped onto the machine and the figures
came up, I put my hand to my mouth and bit it hard. I stared in
horror.

It read, six stones. The driver and I took an arm each and guided her
back to the car. All I can say is that it would be a far longer and far
more emotionally draining journey home.