Just Another Friday Night In Memphis - Part 13

????..hanging from the branch.

That evening we talked for hours but she was adamant that she couldn't
go back.

A couple of days later I left home for Wales, I was going to visit my
friends near Swansea for a bit, I needed to be near people that cared
for me. Janet said we could keep in touch by phone but I felt she just
wanted to give me something to look forward to so I wouldn't lose it
again. Pat and Norman were so caring to me, they looked after me like I
was a baby, fussing over everything, taking me out for meals and
telling me I had to be strong and Janet wasn't worth my time. During
one period of extreme pain I sat down and wrote a poem, something I had
done only once before 17yrs previously, again because of a broken
relationship. Pat tried to take my phone so I couldn't call Janet but I
wouldn't let her have it. I'd been there three days and called her
every day but on the Friday morning I noticed a change in her voice, it
was softer, kinder, I knew that something had changed yet again.

'When are you coming home?' she asked.

'On Sunday', I replied.

'I can't see you on Sunday', she said, 'but I'll see you at the club on
Tuesday, and don't worry.'

Then she hung up, and I felt a huge wave of relief flow over me. Pat
and Norman were very apprehensive about me going home and seeing Janet,
they believed I was going to get more pain and misery.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat at the far end of the bar and after a while the door opened and
Janet stood there, 30ft away. She saw me and walked very confidently
towards me and sat down, but not close to me. She smiled
knowingly.

'Can we start again?' she said, looking at me intently.

'What about Tony?' I said.

'I've told him it's over', she replied, 'he said he always knew I would
go back to you.'

'But he shagged you anyway, is that all it was to him Janet, a
shag?'

'If we are going to stand a chance you've got to forget all that', she
said.

'What about the jazz club?' I enquired.

'I can't stop going there', she said, 'it's the only thing that keeps
me sane on Sundays.'

'Well see me instead', I replied, 'there has to be more time together,
you know that.'

'I can't on Sundays, Peter knows I go to the jazz and Tony picks me up
at our house and comes in and chats to Peter.'

'You mean I have to put up with your last lover still picking you up?'
I couldn't believe my ears.

'Look, there's nothing between us now, if you can't accept it we may as
well not bother', she answered.

Oh my god, I thought to myself, what do I do now? I didn't want to rock
the boat and lose her again so I said, 'OK, lets not argue about it
now, it's almost Christmas, let's discuss it in the New Year.'

She gave me a weak smile and said, 'yes, let's talk about that
later.'

'Janet', I said in a shaky voice, 'Don't ever do this to me again,
please, I can't cope with it.'

'I won't, I promise', she whispered, and I wondered whether I could
believe her.

Over the next 2 or 3 weeks leading up to Christmas we seemed to spend a
lot of time together and there was more sex than at anytime in our
relationship. Janet asked me where I thought the relationship was
heading, and I said I hoped we were going to move in together
somewhere, and eventually marry. This seemed to please her and I spoke
to Jean about a divorce.

On the 13th December, a Wednesday, Janet took a day off work and we
went shopping in Oxford Street. After doing her family Christmas
shopping I told her I wanted to buy her something, I took her into a
jeweller and bought her a topaz and diamond ring, which she chose. She
was so excited, and on the train home she kept taking it out of the box
and looking at it.

Eventually she said to me, 'Is it all right if I consider this an
engagement ring?'

I smiled at her and replied, 'That's what I intended, but I wanted it
to come from you, yes sweetheart, it's an engagement ring.'

She leaned forward and kissed me tenderly on the lips.

I had told Janet when I bought the ring I would only buy it for her if
she intended to wear it, and she said she really wanted to, but
couldn't wear it on her left hand which disappointed me a little. She
had always accused me of playing happy families with Jean behind her
back and not being committed to her, when in fact Jean had literally
thrown her wedding ring away 10yrs before, whilst Janet still wore both
her engagement ring and her wedding ring.

I tried several times to get her to take them off but she wouldn't,
saying, 'I can't get them off, they won't go over the knuckle of my
finger.'

This was just an excuse; although she assured me she hated Peter and
wouldn't let him near her, I didn't necessarily believe it. She
wouldn't remove the rings because she didn't want to rock the boat. I
asked her how she was going to explain the sudden appearance of a new
ring on her hand and she said I should wrap it up in Christmas paper
and she would put it under her Christmas tree and get Adrienne to write
a tag to say it was from her. After all I had been through with Janet
she was still keeping me in the closet.

I should point out that although Jean and I didn't discuss Janet openly
it was my belief, and that of all our mutual friends, that she was
fully aware of my relationship with Janet and was happy to let sleeping
dogs lie as long as I didn't flaunt it in her face, she didn't want me
anyway and had previously told me to look elsewhere. As such I had no
feeling of cheating and I'm sure that's how Jean felt too, had I had a
good relationship with her from the start I would never have strayed,
not ever!

Everybody that knows Jean says she is an intelligent woman that would
be impossible to fool; also that Janet was no great intellect and
mostly they couldn't see what the attraction was for me. I thought
their appraisal of Janet a little unfair, but then they didn't know her
as I did. I accept that Janet and I wasn't any great meeting of minds
but she smiled at me, she kissed me, she told me she loved me, she
couldn't wait to make love with me and she loved going to shows,
parties and restaurants, in fact we were made for each other socially
and whether she was as bright as me didn't matter at all, although to
suggest that she wasn't intelligent was far from the truth; we were
just different in that respect. I know, because she told me so, that
she had learned a lot about music from me and I had made her aware of
all sorts of things she had never noticed before, but she had also
taught me a lot and opened my eyes to a tenderness and loving I had
never experienced before. I just loved being loved!

On Christmas Eve Janet and I went to Clacton where Sarah and Adrienne
had opened a Tanning Salon and were having a kind of open day for
customers, food and drink and stuff. We had a nice afternoon and then
came back to Southend, where Janet and her sister Thelma, and some of
Thelma's friends, would go carol singing every year at Southend General
Hospital, going from ward to ward and having a drink with the nurses in
the boardroom. I went for the first time this year and I loved being
with Janet on Christmas Eve. The nurses thought I was a great addition
to the squad and invited me to come regularly every year.

Christmas day was always sad for me because I wasn't with the woman I
loved, but Janet and her girls, along with their current boyfriends,
would every year, go to a pub near her house before Christmas lunch and
I agreed to meet them there. I always took my boys to see my stepmother
on Christmas mornings, and as she lived several miles from my home and
quite close to Southend and there wasn't time to take them home first,
they had to come with me to the pub. This wasn't a problem because they
were aware of my relationship with Janet (in fact at various points in
time when their mother was treating me really badly they had both
advised me to find someone else.)

When I arrived at the pub they were all laughing and having a good time
and Janet was wearing her ring, but I couldn't help feeling as though
it wasn't as important to her as it was to me. Although she showed it
to everybody she took far more trouble over showing everyone the ?4000
Rolex watch Sarah had given her and it made me feel cheap! At closing
time we went back to our respective homes for dinner, which in our
house was usually eaten in separate rooms in silence and
depression.

I never got to see Janet on Christmas nights but she would come to the
folk club Boxing Day 'do' in Leigh-on-Sea the next lunchtime. It's lots
of drinking and singing in the bar and a 'Mumming' play outside. I
hadn't managed to spend a whole day with her over Christmas but I had
seen her most days for a while and it helped me cope. Before Christmas
I had booked a table for New Years Eve at the best French restaurant in
Southend, and also a room for the night at the newly refurbished Grand
Hotel in Leigh. I was determined to make it the best New Year Janet had
ever had and I spared no expense. The meal cost a jaw-dropping ?200,
and what with the room and champagne I'd bought I'd spent close on ?400
on the evening. Adrienne and her fianc? Andy, brought Janet to the
hotel about 2pm and I couldn't wait to be alone with her for the
afternoon before we drove the 3mls to the 'Fleur de Provence' for our
New Year meal.

As I closed the door behind us Janet turned around, her face breaking
into a big grin and she said to me, 'OK handsome, get those clothes off
right now and get on that bed. You're not doing anything for the next
four hours except me!'

She said not to open the champagne because she was saving it for when
we got back after midnight but she gave me the most amazing four hours
I had ever known. I never knew love could be so exciting and I wanted
it to last forever.

We spent ages getting ready for the evening; Janet wore an expensive
(?200) full length, sleeveless black velvet dress, split up the thigh
and with a zip made of rhinestones from the top to the waist. Sarah and
I had bought this dress for her and the only other time I believe she
wore it was for the previous New Year at Sarah's bungalow. I surprised
her by wearing a suit and tie, something I normally only wore for
weddings and funerals, but there was no way I was going to let her down
by dressing casual when she had made so much effort to look glamorous.
She looked stunning and when we walked into that restaurant I was so
proud of her, the most gorgeous woman there and she was with me. The
meal was really lovely, five courses all presented like they do on
those snobby TV cookery shows, you know, works of art with little
flourishes. There was a different wine with every course and the whole
experience was unlike any meal I'd ever had.

We got back to the hotel about 1am and I was worn out, I would have
settled for a cuddle and some sleep but Janet had other ideas. I hadn't
really had much to drink as I was driving and Janet said it was time to
open the champagne. Whilst I was doing this she was stripping my
clothes off and in minutes we were both naked with the champagne
between us. She took me by the hand and led me to the bathroom. Putting
the champagne down she turned on the shower and pulled me into the
bath. I'd never had a shower like this in my life, then reaching for
the bottle she said to pour the champagne over my chest as she knelt in
the bath and drank it as it ran down my body and off my manhood. I felt
a little twinge at this point, I had never done anything remotely like
this in my life with anyone but she seemed so confidant I couldn't help
feeling she had done this before, maybe recently, maybe with Tony! The
last thing I remember that night was cuddling up to Janet and falling
asleep.

We checked out the next morning at 10am and I drove her home, dropping
her round the corner from her house. She kissed me lovingly and was
gone.

tbc