Bingo

As everyone at ABCTales probably knows, I’m in hospital right now. To this hospital, nobody is considered to be a ‘patient’, but a more elegant, ‘service user’! Yes, there are doctors and nurses who look after our mental health, but it’s the HCA’s (health care assistants), who actually bring fun into an admission!

Bingo is one of the many activities that the team of HCA’s, host. When you think of bingo, you automatically think about prize money…unfortunately, there is none of that here! If you are someone who’s lucky enough to win a prize, you’re offered a choice of chocolate bars that are lined up on a table. If you win a house, however, the stakes are even higher, the prize being…an even bigger chocolate bar!

Hordes of people always show up for the blessed event! Almost everyone who is able to attend, tries to be one of the lucky ones who aren’t turned away due to social distancing. It seems cruel to not allow someone access to something that’s use is to aid their wellbeing, but covid restrictions still apply!

I’m lucky in a way, as I have end stage arthritis in my knee and need crutches to get around. People leave me go into the vast hall first to situate myself in a special place that is forever considered to be mine! I cringe at the thought of having to climb up the, two, very low steps that feel like, mountains. When I make it, after leaning hard on the crutches, Carl, one of the HCA’s, kindly hands me my bingo sheet and dabber. I always thank him gratefully and watch the carnage at the door with amazement. I can only compare the sight to that of people entering a rock concert! My smile continues as I look back and up towards the highest step of the hall. I have witnessed on several occasions, service users grabbing other service users, trying to claim a spot!

Once the HCAs deem everyone to be socially distant, they begin to roll the bingo drum. As my eyes are looking down at the page, my dabber poised, the first number comes out. I try to mark it and panic…my dabber isn’t working! As they are onto the second number, I turn the bingo sheet over and bang the specialised pen frantically, trying to entice the blue coloured ink out of the bingo marker. On what must have been the fifteenth desperate hit, the blue appears on the page. I let out a long sigh of relief, and ask Carl if he wouldn’t mind repeating the three numbers that have already been called. I hear a loud moan from everyone behind me and thank Carl for his patience.

As more of the numbers roll out of the machine, I mark each one with care. I find myself waiting for one number on two different lines that would grant me the honour of claiming the M&M’s. I feel the tension rise inside of me, the word, ‘check’, ready to be screamed out as the subsequent balls emerge. My whole focus is on this one bingo sheet! I’m in the zone to the extent that I genuinely can’t picture the tier of people sitting behind me, dabbing as hopeful as I am!

‘Check!’ a man to my right yells in a deep, confident tone of voice. He gives me such a fright that I physically jump! He calls out his line and is asked to come down at the end of the game to claim the forever indulgent chocolate!

Carl continues to extract the balls from the drum, calling out the number written on them. After the second one, I hear the same man, the one that I’m secretly praying won’t take the M&M’s, yell ‘check!’ again! And again, I jump at his booming voice! As everyone in the hall moans, I watch this guy call out his numbers and notice that the two lines aren’t in the same box! Being the shy, inverted person that I am, I say nothing! After all, it’s just chocolate we are playing for! His dishonesty confuses me! I question why someone would be so deceptive…for chocolate! I shake my head in disgust and focus on my own sheet once more.

Of course, this guy, who ‘appears’ to be very lucky, wins the house as well. It was a hattrick of epic proportion! I watch as he reads out random numbers that he has dabbed carelessly.

‘Are you serious man?’ I ask myself, ‘it’s just chocolate!’ I shake my head again but put it behind me. I get the next card ready as Carl resets the game.

As he spins the ever-important balls, making sure that they are sufficiently mixed, that git beside me, who happens to have chosen the M&M’s I so desperately wanted, is actually boasting to another guy two tiers up, informing him how to cheat the system! Luckily, Carl overhears and glances in my direction. I just nod my head, to indicate that yes, he had in fact been ripped off! I know this guy to my right never had a line, not to mention a house!

Carl begins to call the numbers again. I was back in the zone! I dab like crazy as he calls number after number and then…’check!’ from my good friend on the right. Carl, obviously suspicious of him, goes over and asks him to point out the line…he doesn’t have one!

Since that day, two HCAs are present when bingo takes place, one calling out the numbers, the other calling out the checks. They are just trying to be sure that no one else pulls the wool over their eyes, even if it is just for a simple bar of chocolate!