off to the doctors

Chapter
2

Off to
the doctors

As Aidan opened the door he was greeted with a waft of cold air. It was pitch black inside. It was like entering a black hole. Aidan put his hand to the left wall just inside the door and felt for the light switch. When he turned it on there was dazzlingly bright light. It revealed the beast.

The garage houses the vehicle of the family…….it’s called the beast. It’s a mobility scooter.
Marian never learned to drive and Aidan is 85 now so they traded their car for the beast when it was their grandson Brendan’s 30^th birthday. He didn’t have a car and kept turning down jobs purely because of transportation. He was solely depending on public transport and Aidan and Marian together came up with the idea of giving him their car and getting a motorized scooter for Aidan. In fairness Aidan gave up driving a year prior and the car was just sitting there so after much deliberation they came up with this idea.

The bright shiny red and black mobiity scooter stood in the middle of the garage. This baby was a full 560 watt, 0 to 12 km per hour in 60 seconds hog. It even has a wicker basket in the front of it. Its Aidan's pride and joy. He polishes it and keeps the beast in tip top shape.

He took the step into the garage and got a chill. The right wall inside the door was home to a couple of hooks. They held coats and the keys to the beast. Aidan puts a high visibility vest on over his black fleece lined coat. After all, safety first. He puts on a scarf and wraps it around his neck a couple of times. It’s a beautifully hand knit scarf made by his granddaughter nel. It has a lot of different greens through it. She made it to match his green tweed wool blend flat cap which he wears everywher . It stinks to high heaven and the lining is cracked in a couple of places. There is no way he will let anyone, not even
Marian wash and fix it. A new one is completely out of the question.

The whole family has even had an intervention against the hat. They all met and gave perfectly good reasons for Aidan to get rid of it. They bought the same exact one and
presented it to him. ‘It’s not the same’ he started ‘this hat is part of my history; it’s gotten me through the good times and the bad. I love this hat. It has the shape of my head in it perfectly.’ ‘Just try the new one!’ Marian pleaded. He put it on and immediately took it off saying ‘nope.’ That was that. The old hat stayed.

The keys that were on the hook of the wall had a Ferrari keying on them. Aidan always wished to drive a Ferrari. It was one of the things he fantasized about. Well the beast is his Ferrari.

He opens the black wooden doors to the garage and goes over to the beast. He puts her keys in the ignition and fixes his hat before sitting into his baby. He drives slowly out the doors and dismounts his treasure to close the doors again. Once he has locked up, put on his gloves and he’s off towards the doctors.

Aidan is lethal on the road. That’s where he has to drive – the road. He thinks he’s in an actual car the way he drives. He can’t drive in a straight line to save his life. His head can be present as much as it’s absent. The whole idea of the scooter was to make the roads safer but, if possible, it’s done the opposite. The only good thing about it is the fact that everyone knows Aidan in the town they live in so they know to give him a wide birth. If he sees someone he knows for example he would wave at them and automatically the scooter goes in a diagonal direction on the road either to the right or the left depending on whichever side the person he is saluting is. He just is a really bad driver.

Aidan got to the surgery to see Dr Mitchell ten minutes early which for him was right on time. He hated being late for anything. If he wasn’t early then he was late in his eyes. He believed tardiness was rude. In those ten minutes he locked up the beast to a lamppost, and registered his name with the receptionist. He sat down and picked up a magazine.  

Dr Mitchell is in a clinic with four other doctors. There is also a nurse. Aidan loves the place. He really trusts Dr Mitchell. He has been visiting him for 21 years now and if its Dr Mitchell’s day off he gets to see one of the other four doctors, all of whom he likes.

It was Marian who originally made the appointment for Aidan to meet with Dr Mitchell. Aidan is just going it to keep her happy really.

‘Mr. Smith’ Dr Mitchell called to no reply. Dr Mitchell clears his throat and says once again in a louder tone, ‘Mr. Smith’. Once again he calls out ‘Mr. Smith’ and once again there was no reply. Dr Mitchell then walks over to Aidan and puts his hand on his shoulder. Aidan looks up. ‘Dr Mitchell, how are you?’ ‘I’m good Mr. Smith. Now let’s go into my office and have a chat’ Dr Mitchell offers. ‘Of course doc’ Aidan replies. They make their way into the office

As they enter the office Dr Mitchell, he gestures to Aidan to take a seat. He starts with ‘well, Mr. Smith,’ he started ‘Mrs. Smith thinks you might have trouble with your hearing. What do you think about that?’ ‘Well doctor, I’m only here to make the wife happy.’ ‘Right so Mr. Smith; let’s take a look at those ears then.’ Aidan says ‘sure you can give me the full mot when you’re at it’. The doctor then checks his eyes ears throat heart and lungs; he tests his blood pressure and blood sugars.

After all that Dr Mitchell, a man with few words, sits down himself at his desk. He has a
concerned look on his face ‘well’ he started. Aidan’s face dropped. ‘Oh don’t worry its nothing serious’ Dr Mitchell says quickly ‘it's just your ears. There is a massive amount of wax in both ears, Marian was right to be concerned.’  What does that mean doctor ‘well I can do a procedure right here, right now and fix that right up for you’ ‘will it hurt’ Aidan asks? ‘It will just be a bit uncomfortable’ says the doctor ‘I can’t say whether your hearing is damaged under the wax butt getting this minor procedure could help you hear better.’ ‘That sounds good doc. Bring it on.’ ‘Great’ says Dr Mitchell ‘just bear with me a minute and I’ll get thee stuff ready’

Aidan looks around the office as the doctor is getting everything ready. He sees a homemade picture frame on the wall with a picture of Dr Mitchell and his wife with two beautiful blond haired young girls. It was a very happy picture. Aidan thought to himself that that reminded him of his family. Aidan has two wonderful daughters himself. It reminded him of how happy he is in life.

He’s smiling to himself in his own little world when Dr Mitchell says ‘right Mr. Smith,’ Aidan snaps out of his daydream and remembers why he is here. ‘I have a big metal syringe here full of water and basically I’m going to insert it in your ear and gently press the water into it. I am going to ask you to hold one of these’ Dr Mitchell hands Aidan a big metal deep container ‘to catch the water and the wax that comes out. If you could hold this under your right ear’ ‘here?’ ‘Yeah that’s perfect sir’

The doctor put a big metal syringe to his ear, and suddenly, he felt warm water gushing in. it was painful at first, so Dr Mitchell slowed the pressure down, then started again. It sounded a bit like the sound of a drill against his ear, with the pressing of the water into it intermittently like a pulse. The first ear cleared out straight away. Aidan felt a sudden release, as the pressure dropped, the water drained, and suddenly, fresh air flowed into his ear canal again.

‘Now Mr. Smith. That’s that ear done.’ Says Dr Mitchell. ‘Wow’ says Aidan.’wow, I can….I just…..wow!’ Aidan was lost for words. Dr Mitchell takes the metal container off Aidan and shows him what’s inside. Aidan looked down at the wax – which was dark brown – looked like it was the same size as a miniature hearing aid. ‘Holy shit’ Aidan says surprised before he can catch it. He catches his mouth and says ‘I’m so sorry doctor that just slipped out’. Dr Mitchell smiles and laughs and and says ‘yeah holy shit! That’s a lot of wax sir!’

‘Now Mr. Smith. That’s one ear done. Would you like me to do the other one?’ asks the doctor ‘oh yes please!’ Aidan nearly jumps at the chance to have not one but two working ears ‘there is no way Marian is going to believe this. I can hear. The other one would be the icing on the cake.’ ‘Ok so,’ starts Dr  Mitchell ‘you know the drill’ he says handing Aidan the metal container to put under his left ear. And the procedure happened all over again.

Aidan was absolutely astonished about the amount of wax that came from both ears. It was enough to make a candle. ‘Well Mr. Smith, what do you think?’ ‘I’m, well, I’m, I’m astonished. I
can actually hear what you’re saying. I’m so, well I’m, I’m, well, speechless. Thank you. I mean, wow.’ Dr Mitchell smiles to himself ‘I’m so glad you’re happy sir.’ ‘I’m speechless’ says Aidan. As he gets up he is grinning from ear to ear. He puts on his coat and shakes Dr Mitchell’s hand with so much enthusiasm. ‘I’m so glad that you are such a happy customer’ jokes Dr Mitchell. ‘Oh I am doc, I sure am’ ‘you be careful on the roads now sir’ says DrMitchell and Aidan leaves
his office. He waves at the receptionist saying thanks as he  goes through the waiting room and back to the beast.

Aidan drove home. He thought he was a good driver but no other person on either the road or footpath would agree. He had driving glasses and normal glasses, however, he either forgets them altogether or he forgets which ones he’s wearing. He’d sometimes have his glasses on and give out because he couldn’t read the paper because they were his driving glasses and vice versa. He was like Mr. Magoo. Aidan just couldn’t grasp the fact that not only have to wear his glasses but that he has to change glasses getting into the scooter, but getting out of it too.

When he finally got home and put the beast on charge in the garage, the roads were safe again!

He opened the door next to the loo from the garage and let out a big ‘hello’. He got no reply. He took off his coat and hung up his hat and went into the house. He was curious
as to what Marian was doing. It brought the question of whether she was even in the house. He knew that if she had gone out that she would have left a note on the table.

He walked into the house and went to see if there was a note. Nope. ‘Marian’ Aidan shouted out with no reply. He was confused as to where she could be. The house wasn’t that big so she should have been able to hear him. Aidan scratched his head in confusion. It never dawned on him to look for her.

Then he heard singing, or what some people would consider to be singing. Aidan himself described it as nails on a chalk board. He could actually hear the words now that his ears were fine again. As he walked into the hall all he could hear were these nails and they were saying and he started following them. ‘I am here, I am here, I’ve already seen the bottom so there’s nothing to fear. I know that I’ll be ready when he devil is near. I am here, I am here, all of this wrong, but I’m still right here, I don’t have the answers, but the
questions is clear, let me ask you. Where does everybody go when they go? Where does  everybody go when they……holy Mary, Jesus, feckin hell Aidan you frightened the shite out of me!’ Marian jumps as she sees Aidan just standing there beside her out of nowhere.

‘I thought you were at the doctors’ she says taking the ear buds out. ‘That was over an hour ago love. Are you ok? You’re very jumpy lately,’ replies Aidan ‘I was just listening to my iPod love. I’m cleaning up after you all morning! How did you get on?’ ‘Well I could hear all of that noise you have just been spouting’ Aidan says. ‘You could make dogs howl with that noise!’ Marian looks at him and starts smiling. ‘You could hear that.’ ‘Yeah’ Aidan replies grinning from ear to ear ‘I can hear again!’ Marian throws herself into his arms and almost starts crying with happiness. They both are so happy, and so they should be. This was great news. Aidan neglected to tell Marian that there could be hearing loss on top of the wax. They weren’t out of the woods yet but Aidan could hear the best he could in months and that was a win in their eyes

‘Now you go and sit down and ill bring you a cup of tea, you’re frozen!’ Marian says with happiness all over her face. The happiness was because they aren’t going to have to look
after hearing aids just yet. She knows he’s not out of the woods but his hearing seems to be so much better that she decides to ring the doctor to thank him

Marian didn’t know the doctors number off by heart and her grandson Pete had them all stored in her iPhone so she took it out. Pete was trying to put his grandparents in touch with technology. She had the screen at arm’s length and still couldn’t see the numbers. ‘Where did you put my feckin glasses?’ She shouts into the next room.

Of course Aidan didn’t hear her. He was in the sitting room with the TV blaring at 80. ‘Useless, absolutely useless’ she mutters. ‘What’s that?’ He replies. ‘Have you seen my glasses?’ ‘What?’ ‘HAVE YOU SEEN MY GLASSES’ she says really loudly and animates the words with her hands like she was playing the game charades. ‘No need to shout, I’m not deaf! They are on your head!’ Marian touches the top ofher head and sure enough they were there. ‘Now who’s losing it?’ He smiles with a grin from ear to ear. ‘Smart arse!’ She replies. ‘What?’ ‘Oh Jesus Mary and holy Saint Joseph’ she says and storms out embarrassed.

Marian sits at the kitchen table and puts on the glasses that are on her head. She looks at the screen and it’s all blurry. She takes off the glasses and looks at them. They weren’t her glasses at all, they were his. She remembers that these are the glasses that were in the bathroom sink this morning. She gets up again and mutters under her breath as she searches for her ones. ‘Well if these are his.....maybe he has mine’ she ponders. ‘That would mean he went out on that bloody scooter without the proper glasses!’ She giggles, ‘feckin gobshite’

She goes out to the garage, and there in the basket on the front of the scooter are both her glasses and his reading glasses. She knew they were his reading glasses because they were like milk bottles and the arms of the glasses were bent. Aidan kept alternating between standing on them and sitting on them. You’d never be sure where you’d find them. She found them in the bath the other day covered insuds.

Marian saw her pair of glasses were too dirty to see through. She went back into the house and cleaned them with a dirty tea towel. This made them worse. ‘Feckin thing not worth a shite’ she muttered under her breath. She goes over to the drawer under the cutlery and gets the eye glass wipes. She takes out 3 sachets. She cleans both pairs of his glasses and lines them up on the black marble work top and starts on her own pair. She rubs them and then holds them up to the light a couple of times until she is content that they are clean.