The Last Linslade Bobby Chapter Nine, Part Two & Ch. 10.

Chaper Nine continued...

Some men like a big car, it is their social statement. A
new Jaguar model had recently been introduced and its proud owner
parked one at the railway station car park on a cold winter's
morning. That evening when he arrived back on the train, it was still
very cold and his car like all the rest, had a thick layer of ice on
its windscreen. By pure chance I was passing through the car park and
nodded good evening to him. He had his engine running, his driver's
door open and his ice scraper in his hand removing ice from the
windscreen. He then decided to get an evening newspaper from the
station shop so held his door handle up and pressed down the chrome
door locking button and slammed the door shut. Then he realised he
had locked his car up with the keys on the inside and its engine
running. His very expensive social statement was now useless. He
called me back (I was on foot) and asked what could he do. I took
from my jacket pocket a 3 foot long piece of strong plastic banding,
the type you find holding building bricks together on building sites.
I folded it in half, pulled out the top edge of his driver's door,
feeding in the 'loop' end of the tape. Then I worked it down to the
chrome button through the door seal to the handle and pulled both
away and up hard. This caught the button and lifted it, opening the
door. It takes about ten seconds to do this trick. He was horrified,
he had just paid a small fortune for his new car and I had broken
into it, with no damage, in just ten seconds. The cheaper Ford cars
had their door lock button push down flush with the door's window
ledge, you cannot get into a Ford that way (but there is another way
using an old wire coat hanger....)

By then his car's heater had warmed up and his
windscreen was clearing. Today we have automatic central locking
systems, but today's car thief uses a scanner to capture your car key
fobs radio signal, and when you have gone.....

Chapter
Ten.

Local Schools.

As a local beat officer it was my job to go into the
schools to represent the police service and to foster crime
prevention. There was a Schools Liaison Officer, PC Taff Godsell, but
his task was to concentrate on the Middle Schools as this was the age
group HQ deemed to be the most receptive to pre-planned lessons. I
took over his job in 1995 but as a LBO often called in on the Lower
Schools and occasionally Cedars Upper. Linslade Lower in Leopold Road
had a quite pretty head teacher. I found out later she had lost her
husband and to compensate, threw herself fully into her job. I was
invited in to many morning assemblies to chat to the youngsters. We
mostly talked about safely crossing roads, wearing a seat belt in
cars and not fighting in the playground. Being very young some would
volunteer the information that their 'Mummy did not wear her seat
belt' and similar misdemeanors. I advised the child to tell Mummy
that Mummy was very valuable, and that the child would like Mummy to
put her seat belt on please. I would also get information that little
Johnny picked his nose in lessons and Aunty Mary's dog stank! All
vital intelligence for the active, operational copper. Taff had a
selection of children's books in his office at the station and I
would borrow them to read to the very young children in Year One.
They loved these stories so I often donated the book to their
'reading shelf' in the classroom. Many had hidden morals in them.
(Taff was a very good pianist and getting bored one day at Vandyke
Upper School, whilst waiting for a teacher, he sat down at their
piano in their assembly hall and fingered a few keys. Then he sat on
the stool and ran off a superb bit of classical playing, this brought
a crowd to the hall, amazed that a mere copper could play so well.)
(A less notable police visit was by PC Dave Knoakes. He handcuffed a
teacher then found he had left his handcuff keys back at the station
and had to get a panda to call. This was followed up by him swinging
his wooden truncheon, the leather strap breaking and the truncheon
nearly hitting the head teacher. After that the kids called him PC
Jokes.)

Southcott Lower had Mrs. Middleton as its head teacher.
Again I would call and read stories to the Year One children. Mrs.
Middleton was also head of the bench at the Magistrates Court so I
knew her vaguely (it was not she who drove the Mini with no lights).
We would go through all the 'appointments' a copper has with them.
They loved the helmet, my big torch, the handcuffs (these were the
old chain type, not the current 'quick-cuff' type), the whistle and
the radio. But most of all they wanted to see the truncheon. When I
pulled out my umbrella there was uproar when I opened it up. I hardly
ever carried my little (useless) wooden truncheon in the long pocket
down the right thigh, I used it for my umbrella. That way I did not
get wet. My heavy aluminium torch was my unofficial defence weapon
(most often used to break windows to gain entry). To end the 'show'
we would handcuff a teacher, to the children's great glee (not
permitted today, enforced by the governments, 'No One is Permitted
to Enjoy Themselves Any More Dept' or for short H&S).

Greenleas Lower School had identical inputs to Southcott
from me and an additional one over yobs trying to burn the school
down. They set fire to the big green, plastic wheely bins and shoved
them up under the eaves. Luckily the school did not burn and I got
the caretaker to put 'anti-climb-paint' in relevant places to stop
children getting up onto the flat roof. This was the first school in
Linslade with computers and they were all kept overnight in the
central corridor, chained together. Only this corridor had any PIR
alarm sensors. The head's name I have now forgotten, but she was a
lovely great big lady who reminded me of a ship in full sail as she
wafted about the school.

Every now and then I would arrive unannounced at one of
these schools armed with a Fixed Penalty Ticket book. I got lots of
complaints about parking on the zig-zags outside these schools as
well as bad parking on pavements at risk to very small children.
Often I only gave out one or two tickets but lots of HORT/1 forms (a
'producer within seven days). Once I gave out a couple of obstruction
tickets at Leopold Road and one for no seat belt. The story grew as
the next day I overheard that a number coppers had raided Linslade
Lower School parents and had issued dozens of tickets. The speaker
complained that surely the police had better things to do, like
catching murderers. Running over innocent children with a car is
murder in my book. If you ever become a police officer it is wise to
remember that everyone else knows your job better than you ever will,
but keep smiling.

As a LBO I did not have much to do with inside Cedar's
Upper School (but I did once I took on the SLO job) and I mostly
patrolled outside. This meant they had a number of youths who were
barred from the school who would turn up at home time and intimidate
others. These yobs knew the ground rules and did not go onto school
property, but they did stand on the 'swimming pool' side of the road.
Cedars is like Houghton Regis, it has (had) a health & fitness
centre next door. If I caught any yob threatening anyone I had a
power of arrest under an ancient law, A Breach of the Queens Peace.
(The ASBO did not exist.) I only used it once and the message got
around. There was also then the power to search anyone suspected of
carrying or dealing in drugs. None of them were daft enough to bring
anything, not even cannabis, to the school. I did occasionally find
the odd half-smoke spliff (cannabis cigarette mixed with tobacco) on
the pavement, dropped by the offender as soon as they saw the police
were about. As a LBO I seemed to deal mostly with errant parents bad
parking at the Cedars and Leighton Middle home time.

PC Martin Pennell who was the Heath and Reach LBO was
mirroring my visits to his three lower schools, another crime
prevention initiative. PC Graham Matthews was doing the same in
Dunstable.

No one does any of the above in or around schools today.

Continued....