Britcrib

Britcrib by Neil McCall

the glory dazzled the shepherds
but they thought it was special effects;
the wise men saw the star in the East
but they wouldn't leave Middlesex;

now Joseph was living hand-to-mouth
'cos no one would buy his chairs -
the plastic ones in the Swedish shop
never needed expensive repairs;

and holy men called Mary a slut
for breastfeeding in the street;
the innkeeper said he could put them up
but he warned that it wasn't en suite;

so turn down the noise of the jukebox -
infant Jesus is needing his sleep,
flanked by a pair of drooling mad cows
and a flock of freshly-cloned sheep.