The ABC's of Anxiety

Anxiety is when the lights shut off and the monsters under your bed come to life.  

Bad dreams happen when you are wide awake, curled in on yourself, as if your arms could protect you from the horrors of your imagination.

Crushed.  That’s how you feel, like the air around you suddenly weighs a thousand pounds.  

Deafening cries silently ring out of your mouth, but they can only be heard by your ears.

Everything hurts like an iron fist is closed around your heart, your chest, until you feel as though you can hardly breathe.

Fingers dig into anything they can find.  Pressure, to remind you that none of it is real.

Giants grab a hold of your stomach and all the butterflies fly, but they can’t escape.  Not this time. 

How long? You ask.  How long do I have to be like this?

Intrusive thoughts are what your mind gives you for your birthday.  Violent, sexual, unwanted horrors of the deep ice crevices in your brain.

Just close your eyes.  But you're scared to.

Kissed by daggers.  You would rather have that happen then have the thoughts in your imagination come true.

Lies are what you tell to those around you.  “I’m okay.” “Nothing’s wrong.” “Don’t worry about me.”

Monster.  That’s what you believe you are.  

Normal is what you desire to be with all of your heart.  It beats for it, pumps blood through your veins for it.  Doesn’t stop.  Never stops.

Out of energy.  All the time.  Always sleeping.  Always sleeping because that’s when you can get away from all of it for a while.

Putting up a front that’s so hard to keep, but you do it.  For yourself, for those around you… for those who would judge you.

Questions that are hardly answered run through your mind.  Questions like: “Am I crazy?” “Should I be committed?” “Why am I like this?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why me?”

Rationality barely exists.  Anything and everything is fair game to be real.

Stop!

Therapy gives you an explanation.  It’s common.  It happens.

Understanding.  That’s how the people around you are.  Your family, your friends, even the people you barely know.  Chances are, they have already been through it or are going through it right now.

Viable.  Your mind feels like it can function again.  

Worry starts to dissipate, dissolve, disappear into thin air.

Xanax.  You don’t have to take it anymore.  

Yourself.  That’s what you are again.

Zeal.  Life has gained it once more.