Another Cup Of Coffee (Dead Reckoning series - Part 38)

Continued from Episode 37 (I Fought the Law)

The story so far:  Josiah's 'on the rebound' romance with the woman he thought was his old flame, Jeanette DeVille, proved to be with her twin sister, Nenette, and led to him and Archibald being left for dead in the rapidly rising waters of the cellar of Evanley Hall.  The reappearance (very briefly) of Precious, the supposed daughter of Nenette, at the local chippy, has reenergised the police investigation, as has the discovery that the apparently mad old woman in the Estate cottage is actually the real Jeanette DeVille, heiress to Evanley Hall.  Meanwhile, on a 'rehabilitation' exercise, Josiah and Archibald have discovered the bodies of a man and a woman, apparently a joint suicide, who could well be Nenette DeVille and her 'butler' Hames.  In an effort to demonstrate that they're achieving something, D.I. Wood decides to interview Josiah and Archibald as 'persons of interest':

“Where the heck have you been?” Samantha shouted as Josiah, closely followed by the tiptoeing figure of Arnold Threadready, made his way through the door into the Waiting Area of the Police Station.  “I’ve been so worried!” She added, rushing up to Josiah and enveloping him in a hug.
“My, my!” Mr. Threadready observed, enviously, “I wish I could engender the same degree of loyalty within my staff”
“There are certain erm, mitigating factors at play here, as you might say” Josiah explained, somewhat muffled by the enthusiastic hug.
“I wondered what was going on” Samantha explained, stepping back and looking him up and down, “particularly when Archie came out after no time at all” She nodded towards Archibald and his legal counsel who were perched on a bench behind her.  Archibald gave a little wave of recognition; his legal associate, too preoccupied with keeping his collection of folders and textbooks within his grasp declined to make any sudden movement.
“I can only imagine that my interview was somewhat more in depth” Josiah shrugged.
“I think it might be prudent to continue this discussion somewhere other than in the confines of this Police Station” Mr. Threadready suggested, diplomatically, “Perhaps we might repair to somewhere where we could partake of some refreshment and compare notes?  I believe there is a coffee emporium not many yards away?”
A few moments later, the party filed into the warmth and relative comfort of the local coffee shop, ‘Sacred Grounds”.
“In view of your kind efforts on my behalf, please allow me to purchase some refreshments for you all” Josiah announced as they entered.
“Well, that would be most kind of you” Mr. Threadready beamed and wasted no time in settling down in a convenient booth.  Josiah took note of the various requests, without problem, until it came to Archibald.
“What would you require, Archibald?”
“Oh, I dunno!” Archibald looked blankly at the board behind the counter, listing the various options on offer and tugging his jacket sleeve in a clear sign of agitation, “I never know what to ‘ave in these places”
“Well, perhaps when you have made up your mind, you would be kind enough to order for yourself and Mr. erm?”
“Oh, he’s another Threadready” Archibald explained, “calls hisself, Jasper”
“Right, well, if you could order for both of you, you can claim the cost back from Petty Cash when we return” Josiah suggested.
“Oh brilliant!” Archibald grinned, “Expenses!”
“Do not feel the need to throw caution to the winds” Josiah said, sternly.
Having placed the order, Josiah joined the party in the booth, leaving Archibald hopping from one foot to the other as he tried to make up his mind.
“So, what happened?” Samantha asked.
“Well, Ms. erm, Knight” Mr. Threadready Senior began, “the most notable outcome of the interview was that my client, Mr. Oakshott, is apparently now considered to be a ‘person of interest’”
“What?” Samantha looked shocked, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Erm, well, in short, rather than having been called in as a witness to the recent, rather tragic, events concerning the apparent suicide of the lady and gentleman concerned…”
“Which was my natural assumption” Josiah interjected.
“Indeed, Mr. Oakshott” Mr. Threadready nodded, “Instead, the police seem to have shifted their stance to one in which Mr. Oakshott and, I assume, his colleague…?”  He looked to his nephew for acknowledgement, who nodded despite being preoccupied with arranging the books and folders on the bench beside him.  “Yes, indeed, his colleague, as being ‘persons of interest’, which is to say that the police purport to believe that they may have been, to some extent or other, involved in the incident rather than simply a witness to events”
“Which is cobblers, ‘cause we didn’t do nothin’” Archibald contributed, returning to his seat.  “This place is alright, innit?” He grinned, bouncing up and down on the leather bench seat, which did nothing for Jasper Threadready’s carefully piled books and folders, “It used to be full of goths, back in the day” Archibald continued.
“Goths?” Josiah asked.
“Yeah, ‘cause they had that Arthur Dimwoody do the shop sign, didn’t they?” Archibald explained.
“I fail to see the connection.  Ah, do you mean the Mr. Dimwoody who was later diagnosed with dyslexia?”
“Yeah, ‘im” Archibald nodded, “So, for months, the sign said ‘Scared Gourds’, nobody could figure out what it was supposed to be for”
“JOSHUA?” The man behind the counter yelled out.
“I suspect that might be you, Josiah” Samantha suggested.
“JOSHUA!” The man yelled again.
“Surely not?” Josiah frowned, “I gave my name quite clearly to the young person taking the order”
“JOSHUA!” This time with a degree of impatience.
“Ah yeah, but ‘im doing the drinks and stuff, he’s that Dimwoody’s lad, innit” Archibald observed.
“Ah, I see” Josiah nodded, “I will go and retrieve our order, then”
He returned, a few minutes later, bearing a tray of fancy coffees.
“What did you order, Archie?” Samantha asked, taking delivery of her mochaccino.
“I dunno” Archibald admitted, reluctantly, “I get that confused in these sort of places.  I just, sort of, had stab at it, sort of thing”
“ARCHIE…BLAD?”
“What?” Archibald frowned.
“I think it’s you” Samantha giggled.
“Oh, right” Archibald nodded, “It’s BALD!” He yelled back at the assistant.
“You what?”
“BALD!” Archibald yelled, insistently.
“No, I ain’t” The assistant said, in a hurt tone, “it’s just a wide parting”
“This sort of nonsense seems to follow us around” Josiah groaned.
“I wonder why that might be?” Arnold Threadready mused.
Archibald returned a few moments later, bearing an Americano for Jasper and some sort of frothy concoction for himself.
“Any idea what it is?” Samantha asked.
“Not really” Archibald said, glumly, “I think it might have nutmeg in it, on account of how its seasonal but it could be owt, really.  I just panicked”
“Leaving Archibald’s esoteric choices to one side” Josiah suggested, watching his employee suspiciously sip his drink, leaving a wide ‘moustache’ of froth on his upper lip, “what, exactly, in your opinion, Mr. Threadready, has been the outcome of our interviews today?”
“Difficult to say, Mr. Oakshott” Mr. Threadready Senior said, sipping his Flat White ruminatively, “On the one hand, they gained nothing from the interview that could possibly confirm their suspicions but, on the other, they gave no assurance that your status would be changed, either.  Would you agree, Jasper?”
Jasper Threadbody jumped slightly, as he had been day-dreaming about defending Archibald on a murder charge in Crown Court.
“Erm, no Uncle, indeed not”
“Indeed not, what?” Mr. Threadready Senior asked.
“Erm, whatever you said” Jasper replied, desperately.
“Jasper, you must pay attention, we have spoken about the need for attentiveness and focus before, have we not?”
“I reckon we was lucky not to get done for wasting police time” Archibald said.
“What?  Why ever would you say that, Mr. erm…”
“Furball” Jasper suggested.
“It’s not, it’s bloody THURBLE!” Archibald said, vehemently.
“If you insist” Jasper said, tetchily.
“What did you mean, exactly, Mr. Thurble?” Arnold Threadready asked, wearily.
“Well, what with ‘im covering the desk with books and stuff, there weren’t nowhere for the Sergeant to put his papers” Archibald gestured toward Jasper’s tottering literature collection.
“Sneak!” Jasper hissed at Archibald.
“I have counselled you against the widespread, and, if I may say so, somewhat indiscriminate use of reference materials, Jasper”
“Yes, Uncle” Jasper blushed.
“Not to mention ‘im not knowing what ‘e was talking about!” Archibald said,  “Any road, it didn’t make any odds in the finish, on account of ‘e didn’t believe we was ‘interesting persons’ anyhow”
“’Persons of Interest’” Jasper snapped.
“Yeah, them” Archibald conceded.
“That would explain why you were out, long before Josiah?” Samantha suggested.
“Mr. erm…Thurble, is correct that the Detective Sergeant seemed to give little credence to the notion that he, that is to say, Mr. …Thurble, could possibly be a ‘person of interest’ Jasper nodded, “he did, however, seem to be markedly interested in a girl, possibly wearing a cloak and hood?”
“Precious!” Josiah and Archibald said, in unison.

You can find a lot more from Josiah and Archibald, including the prequel novel to this series, in The Undertakers collection.

Now read Part 39