...'Gainst All Disaster - Episode 2

The fine young lady was not feeling quite so fine, young or, for that matter, lady-like.  From top to bottom - her hair was a bedraggled mess, her fine clothes were torn and muddy and her shoes were almost non-existent.  She was cold, she was wet and she was distinctly uncomfortable.  Whatever it was that she was sitting on had some very hard and unfortunately positioned edges.

At present, she was sitting huddled over a meagre fire, made of such sticks and twigs as they could collect in the vicinity of the cave that was now their shelter.  A greater contrast with her situation, only this morning, when she had watched from her room as her Lord rode out to do battle, was difficult to imagine. 

Since then, she and her maid had run over countless fields, clambered over hedges and crawled through ditches, finally wading through a muddy stream to reach this cave perched on a rocky outcrop that she dimly remembered viewing on the horizon from her castle, in the days when she actually had a castle.  She hoped she might still have a fine house to return to, but the flicker of flames in the distance could not easily be attributed to a celebratory bonfire after a famous victory.  More like a castle being put to the flame after an ignominious defeat.

Thinking of her maid caused her to wonder just how long she had been gone and where she might have gone to!  It was really not good enough to abandon her mistress in this manner.  The thought occurred to her that her maid might choose not to return at all and she shivered as she considered just how she might cope if that were the case.  Not at all well, was her eventual conclusion.

Her miserable musings were cut short by the sound of someone approaching the cave entrance.  She tried to be as quiet as she could be and merge into the background, although that was a little difficult given her highly colourful attire, albeit somewhat caked with mud now.  Could this be the enemy soldiers her maid had warned her about, come to put her to the sword?  Her hand crept involuntarily to her pale, white neck, an undoubtedly attractive target for the rough sword of her captors.  She swallowed hard and wondered if she would manage to be brave when the time came?

“That climb up here’ll be the death of me and no mistake” It was her maid, dragging a laden sack behind her.

“I had all but given you up for lost!” The young Lady sniffed, although she was quietly delighted to see her.

“Just been out for a few bits, m’lady” The maid said, dragging the sack, which clunked and rattled, further into the cave.

“Have you any food?”  The young Lady had become increasingly aware of a gnawing in her stomach.  It seemed a lifetime ago since she had broken her fast this morning.

“Just so ‘appens, I ‘ave” The maid grinned and produced a cold roast chicken leg and a chunk of bread. “’ere you are lovey, get yourself outside that”

The young Lady held both items gingerly and peered at them suspiciously.

“Plates?” She enquired, “cutlery?”

“No lovey, just them scraps as I managed to steal from the kitchen before any of them bandits could spot me”

“You’ve been back to the castle?”

“Amongst other places, yeah” The maid settled herself down on a rock by the fire, opposite her mistress, and extracted another chicken leg and hunk of bread from the sack.

“And…is all lost?” The young Lady asked, with a catch in her voice.

“I’m afraid so, lovey” The maid nodded, biting appreciatively into the drumstick, “the enemy’s at the gate, as you might say.  Well, actually, they’ve made off with the gate and everything else besides.  What they couldn’t steal, they set light to.  You’ve probably seen the flames?”

“I hoped it might be a victory celebration for our brave men”

“Well, in a manner of speaking it were a victory celebration.  Just not for us, is all” The maid continued to demolish the chicken and bread.

“Is there…” The young Lady swallowed hard, “is there news of my Lord?”

“Well, not as such, m’lady” The maid continued to munch, enthusiastically, “I did slip over to the battlefield to see if there were owt I could do”

“What was it like, there?”  The young Lady asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“Well, put it like this, have you ever been to a butcher’s?”

“No, of course not!”

“Thought as much.  Well, it put me in mind of one of them.  Bits all over the shop, if you catch my drift.”

Despite her hunger, the young Lady put down her chicken and stifled a sob.

“Were there no survivors?” She asked, eventually.

“Difficult to say, to be honest” The maid rooted in her sack and eventually produced an apple, which she attacked with gusto. “I mean, it might have been that some of our lads managed to get away.  I’d like to think that one or two of them had the common sense to ‘op it when they saw how the wind was blowing but, who can say?”

“Then, all is lost!” The young Lady burst into tears.

“Now then, lovey, don’t take on so” The maid shuffled over and put her arm around her mistress’s shoulder. “We don’t know what happened now, do we?  The thing is, you and me, we’ve got to look out for each other, haven’t we?  Speaking of which, we’re going to need some funds, so I’ve brought back a thing or two”

“Such as?”  The young Lady blew her nose and wiped away her tears as best she could.

“Oh, you know, just a few ‘spoils of war’ as you might say” The maid rooted again in the sack, “the odd coin, nowt of great value but better than nothing” She passed the coins from one hand to the other.

“Where did those come from?” The young Lady asked, suspiciously.

“Where did they come from?  Well, the battlefield, of course.  No sense in just leaving them lying there now, was there?”

“You have taken them from the fallen?”  The young Lady was shocked.

“Well, they’re no good to them now, are they lovey?  And we’ve come away with nowt to our name!  There’s a few bits of jewellery that might fetch a bob or two, nowt special mind you, bar this” She produced a large silver and ebony ring with a raised design.  The young Lady stifled a shriek.

“It’s my Lord’s seal!”

“Is it?”  The maid squinted at it, in the flickering firelight, “Nah! don’t look nowt like a seal to me.” The maid shook her head, firmly, “I’ve seen seals, floppy grey things with whiskers, hang around on rocks.  This looks more like a bird, I reckon”

“It’s his family’s crest” The young Lady said through gritted teeth, “they have always had a thrush”

“Oh, me and all, lovey” The maid agreed, “I’m a martyr to it.  I’ve tried bathing in vinegar but it makes you smell like a chip shop”

“A what?”

“Oh, nowhere you’d have been, your ladyship”

“This ring, how did you find it?”  The young Lady frowned at her servant.

“Well, it was lying around, as you might say” The maid went back to rummaging in the sack.

“When you say, ‘lying around’, do you mean you found it lying on the field of battle?”

“In a manner of speaking, yeah” The maid agreed.

“Just this ring?”

“Well, no, not just the ring, as such” It was difficult to see, in the firelight, but she was sure the maid was blushing a little.

“What else?”  The young Lady asked, tersely.

“Well, it were attached, as you might say” The maid muttered.

“To what?”  Even in the gloom, the maid was aware of lips being pursed and a foot being tapped.

“Well, an ‘and, I suppose” The maid admitted, reluctantly.

“Not…not my Lord’s?”  The young Lady’s hand went to her mouth.

“Couldn’t rightly say, miss” The maid admitted, “one ‘and looks much like another, if you get my drift?”

“One ‘and looks much like another?”  The young Lady snapped, “I would have thought the ring, on its own, should have told you something!”

“Look, lovey” The maid began, with a sigh, “the field of battle, it’s not the sort of place you ‘ang around and ask questions, if you know what I mean?” The maid patted her mistress’s hand, consolingly, “yes, there was an ‘and, yes it ‘ad this fancy ring on it, as to whose it was, I couldn’t rightly say”

“But, it must have been my Lord!  Who else would have it?” The young Lady sobbed.  “Was there…were there…any other…bits?”

“There were parts, yes miss, all over the doo-dah, as you might say” The maid agreed, “but, as to whether any of them belonged to the Master, I couldn’t rightly say”

“Then, he could still be alive?”  The young Lady asked, hopefully, “perhaps someone stole his seal, in the heat of battle as it were, and then lost their hand in the conflict?”

“I suppose…that could be one explanation” The maid replied, diplomatically.

“I’m convinced that is the answer!” The young Lady said, brightening a little.

“If it makes you feel better, I’d stick with that miss” The maid patted her hand again, “look, it’s getting late, we should be getting some sleep.  There’s just one thing, miss”

“Yes!” the young Lady said, tersely.

“Are you planning on eating that chicken leg, or what?”

If you missed the first episode, you can find it here - She Who Would Valiant Be