Walking on Sunshine (Dead Reckoning series - Part 29)

Continued from Episode 28 (Tears on My Pillow)

The story so far:  Josiah's 'on the rebound' romance with the woman he thought was his old flame, Jeanette DeVille, led to him and Archibald being left for dead in the rapidly rising waters of the cellar of Evanley Hall.  Heroic action by D.S. Stone recovered both of them from the watery depths but, at a price for all concerned and trauma, such as that, leaves its mark:

 

“Grab your jacket, Stoney, we’ve got an ‘unexplained’” D.I. Wood bellowed from his office.

D.S. Stone dutifully grabbed his jacket and wandered into his superior’s lair.

“Where are we heading to, sir?”

“Merkin Reservoir.  It’s either some fool swimming where he shouldn’t, or another of the terminally depressed finally getting their own way” D.I. Wood grabbed a few papers from his desk, shoved an unlit cigarette between his lips and hauled his jacket from the back of the chair.

“The reservoir?” D.S. Stone asked, warily.

“Yep” D.I. Wood nodded, “should make a nice trip out, now the sun’s trying to shine” He added, cheerily.

“I erm, I’ve got a lot of paperwork to catch up on, sir” D.S. Stone put his jacket back on his chair, “can you do without me?”

“Stoney!” D.I. Wood sighed, “This is because it’s the reservoir, isn’t it?”

“No!” D.S. Stone insisted, but the blush said otherwise.

“Oh, come on Sergeant!  I know it was a trauma but it’s been a month since that business at Evanley Hall”

“It’s nothing to do with that” D.S. Stone shook his head, vehemently, “I’m just snowed under here.  Can’t you find someone else?  One of the D.C.s perhaps?”

“Stoney, I’m not having this” D.I. Wood sat, heavily, on the edge of D.S. Stone’s desk, “we’ve spoken about all that business, haven’t we?” D.I. Wood said, not unkindly, “You could have had counselling, you know?”

“I don’t want counselling, I’m fine!”

“Oh yeah?  You turn white every time the cistern fills up in the Gents!”  D.I. Wood rubbed his forehead, “Look, Stoney, you’re coming with, whether you like it or not, so grab your jacket”

The two officers marched out of the main office, one noticeably further behind in the procession.

* * * *

“I’m not saying it’s not good to have you back, Josiah…” Samantha Knight began.

“Good!” Josiah nodded, from his place on the reinstated sofa

“I just think it’s too soon, that’s all” Samantha looked at him, with concern.  There was no mistaking the toll that recent events had taken.  Josiah Oakshott was clearly a shadow of his former self, and he had never been too robust in the first place.  Half lying on the sofa, he looked pale, weak and frail.

“I’m absolutely fine, Samantha” Josiah began, before descending into a bout of coughing.

“Hmmm” Samantha said, dubiously.

“I just…I just want to get back to some form of normality” Josiah explained, struggling for breath a little.

“The doctor said you weren’t to overtax yourself”

“I hardly think that sprawling on this sofa could realistically be described as overtaxing oneself, do you?”

“I’m talking about the effort involved in just getting here!”  Samantha frowned.

“You drove!” Josiah pointed out.

“Yes, and I shouldn’t have let you talk me into it!  Just remember what we agreed, you’re not to do anything whilst you’re here, yes?”

“If you insist” Josiah agreed, sulkily.

* * * *

The atmosphere in the police car was icy.  D.S. Stone was driving, D.I. Wood was watching the countryside zip past.

“There’s no point in sulking, Sergeant” D.I. Wood commented.

“I’m not sulking, sir!” D.S. Stone insisted.

“Hmm, could have fooled me!  You haven’t said a word since we left the Station”

“Nothing to say, sir” D.S. Stone replied, curtly.

“Hmph!” D.I. Wood shook his head, and folded his arms, “you ever watch that Detective series, that one set in the Caribbean?”

“Erm, no, I don’t think so, sir”

“That’d do me, Stoney” D.I. Wood put his hands behind his head and leant back in his seat, “blue skies, sun glinting on the ocean, rum punch, yeah, that’s the life”

“I don’t see why you would be in the Caribbean, sir” D.S. Stone frowned.

“They always send out some British D.I. to run the show, that’s why” D.I. Wood explained, “and you know what?  He’s always got some drop-dead gorgeous local Sergeant carrying his bags for him.”

“Sorry if I don’t fill the bill, sir!” D.S. Stone sniffed.

“Horses for courses, Stoney” D.I. Wood closed his eyes and dreamed of white beaches and reggae music, “you’re suited to miserable wet days heading toward reservoirs, it’d be a waste to have some beauty-contest lookalike hiding her delights under a gaberdine mac and a scarf”

“I’m not wearing a gaberdine mac, or a scarf!”  D.S. Stone protested.

“Yeah, fair enough, but you ain’t got any delights to hide either” D.I. Wood chuckled, “I reckon I could do that Caribbean lark.  I ought to look into it, see about getting a transfer”

“I’m not sure it’s a possibility, sir”

“I wouldn’t have to be a D.I.” D.I. Wood said, generously, “I’d be happy to do traffic duty what with all that sunshine and sandy beaches”

“You wouldn’t get your drop-dead gorgeous Sergeant, not on traffic duty, sir!”

“Good point, well made, Stoney” D.I. Wood agreed, “Still, a man can dream, eh?”

“I think I know the series,” D.S. Stone mused, “hasn’t it got him out of The Royle Family in it?”

“Yeah, he’s about the fourth one so far” D.I. Wood nodded. “Jammy buggers!” He said, with feeling.

“They’re not really police officers, you know, sir” D.S. Stone suggested, tentatively.

“I know that! I’m well aware of that, Sergeant!” D.I. Wood snapped, “But it’s not a bad number, even if you’re only acting the part, is it?”

“No, I suppose not, sir” D.S. Stone agreed.  Silence descended, once more.

“These detectives, aren’t they brilliantly deductive?”  D.S. Stone risked.

“Yeah!” D.I. Wood nodded, thoughtfully, and then, “Here, what are you saying?” He rounded on his Sergeant.

“Nothing, sir” D.S. Stone smirked.

“I can do deduction!”  D.I. Wood insisted.

“Of course you can, sir” D.S. Stone reassured.

“I can!”

“I don’t disagree, sir”

“Hmph!” D.I. Wood’s good mood disappeared, along with the imaginary Caribbean sunshine.

Silence descended again.

“You seem to be getting around a lot better now, sir” D.S. Stone observed, in an attempt to break the stalemate.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing at all, sir!” D.S. Stone protested, “I was just saying, you seem to be walking more easily, which is a good thing, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, yeah, I suppose so” D.I. Wood conceded.

“Those pills from the hospital doing the trick?”

“Well, no, not exactly” D.I. Wood squirmed in his seat, a little, “I packed them up a few weeks back”

“Were they not working, sir?”

“No, not really” D.I. Wood admitted, “It didn’t seem to be getting no better, so I tried something else, and it’s pretty much cleared up!”

“That’s brilliant, sir!  What did the trick?”

“Erm, well, just between you and me, Sergeant…”

“Yes, sir?”

“It was that ointment I got from that mad old biddy back in Cheshire” D.I. Wood admitted, guiltily.

“Jeannie?”

“Yeah, her” D.I. Wood nodded, “I’m on my second jar of the stuff.  I don’t know what’s in it, and I don’t want to know, but I can walk again and the swelling’s gone right down”

“Fancy that!” D.S. Stone exclaimed, “At least there’s some good come out of that Evanley Hall business, then?”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right there” D.I. Wood leaned back and scratched his head, “I just wish we could get our hands on that mad mob that nearly killed you and the others”

“Thanks for reminding me, sir” D.S. Stone sighed, “I think the reservoir’s just up here”

* * * *

In the relative silence of Josiah Oakshott’s office, only the ticking of the grandfather clock and the clicking of the laptop keyboard could be heard.  Josiah was dozing on the sofa and Samantha was busily typing up the details of a recent commission.  The peace was shattered by a crash against the door, followed by some furious knocking.  Josiah jerked awake and looked around in a state of some confusion.

“Wha…What’s that?”  He asked, sleepily.

“Someone at the door, Josiah” Samantha observed, fully focused on her screen.

“Oh, Mr. Strine, I suppose” Josiah rubbed his eyes.

“Could be?” Samantha nodded, “you’d better tell them to come in”

“Me?  Oh, yes, well, erm…come!” He intoned, although somewhat out of practice.

There was another almighty crash, and then the door sprang open.  A trolley lurched through, leaning perilously to one side.  A cup slid, inevitably, to the floor.

“Bugger!” A familiar voice exclaimed.

“Archibald!” Josiah sprang up from the sofa.

“’Lo, Mr. O.” Archibald nodded, and grinned.

“Oh, Archibald, you are certainly a sight for sore eyes!” Josiah looked amazed.

“I told him he could come back, on a very limited basis, for a start at least” Samantha grinned.

“Your trolley seems to be somewhat askew” Josiah observed.

“Yeah,” Archibald nodded, ruefully, “only, Mrs…Miss…oh, to hell with it, Ms. Knight told me I weren’t to carry nowt”

“You were not to carry anything” Josiah clarified.

“Yeah, that’s right” Archibald agreed, “so I got this from that antiques place, down the road.  It was dead cheap an’ all” He looked pleased with himself.  A saucer followed the cup on a dive to the floor.

“It does seem to be a bit erm, on the slant” Samantha pointed out.

“Yeah, well, you see, it were cheap, ‘cause it only had three wheels…”  Archibald explained.

“It appears to have four now, Archibald” Josiah observed.

“Right!” Archibald nodded, “’cause I borrowed a spare from our Stores, them what we use on our trolleys for the coffins, you know?  Only, they ain’t the same size, which is why…” Another cup bounced on the office carpet.

“Resourceful as ever!” Josiah chuckled, “It’s good to have you back, Archibald” Josiah advanced toward him, holding out his hand.

“D’you reckon a hug’d be alright?”  Archibald asked, shyly.

“A hug?” Josiah was clearly panic-stricken and looked to Samantha for support.  She raised an eyebrow, rested her chin on her hand and glared at him.  Josiah took a deep breath, smiled and said,

“Yes, Archibald, you’re quite right, a hug would be in order”

There's a whole lot more about Josiah and Archibald to be found in The Undertakers Collection.

Now read Part 30