The Come Up:Alex Brown, Chapter 1
By PleaseCallMeSebastian
- 2071 reads
What do you call someone with no real future aspirations? Someone who can sit around being lonely. Someone who plays video games all day long without a care in the world. I would call them Alex Brown because that is my name and being nothing is my game. I am 18 years old, i have no job, i have no job, and absolutely no friends. I graduate from Varnado High School tomorrow and i have no clue what to do in life now. To top that off i also smoke pot. In all honesty, a little pot never hurt anyone right? I am smoking a bowl right now. It is the only escape i have from my life. At the moment, i am getting ready to go see my step-brother in prison. He is in Washington Parish County Prison. Which is only about 15 minutes from where i live in Bogalusa. He has always been the person i go to for advice.
I hear a cautious knock on the door so i put up my blue spiraled bong and spray some blunt spray to remove the dank aroma floating around my room. Replying to her knock i say,"Come in."
My mother slowly pushes the door open and peaks in,"Here are the keys to my car. I'm not feeling well so i am going to just let you take my car to see your brother. I love you Alex."
She dropped the keys in my hand and closed the door. I could tell she was still upset about our conversation earlier. Yet another person who is disappointed with how i am spending my life. I hate to make her feel that way. In the back of my head i know one day i will make someone proud. Enough of my negative thoughts. I pull back out my bong and cash the bowl in one monster rip. Spray more blunt spray in the air, and after some thought i spray it on myself too. Not to hide the smell of weed. The spray just smells so fantastic! Taking a quick look in the mirror i can see at least i look good as usual. I am wearing my black retro Jordans, a sleeveless with a storm trooper sun bathing in a pool on the front, and a pair of Hollister cargo shorts. Now its time to go see my step-brother, Noah.
For anyone who managed to make it through the first chapter i thank you first and foremost. This is my first go at a book and from what my friends have told me it kinda sucks. But bare with me because i promise it only gets better. And for anyone interested in the rest of the book just know i will be posting at least one chapter a day.
P.S.. Please be brutal with the feed back. I strive to get better!!!
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Comments
A nicely paced introduction
A nicely paced introduction with a very authentic narrator's voice. One small suggestion - you never say who the woman who knocks on the door is - I am guessing it's the mother, but I think you ought to mention it.
Welcome to ABCTales Pleasecallme!
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It doesn't suck. It's your
It doesn't suck. It's your first draft of your first book and it's not going to be perfect. It's a good opening - you've given your narrator a strong voice and introduced potential conflicts, relationship problems and and dilemmas. Keep going.
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You're very kind, but we're
You're very kind, but we're all the same hopeful writers and eager readers on here!
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